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Nebadonia - Co-Author of Your Souls - Battle of Ego - Self Forgetfulness - Jul 06, 2009 - Marin CA
Marin TM Group--Mill Valley, California--U.S.A.
July 06, 2009

  1. (The Spiritual Co-Author of Your Souls)
  2. (How to See Others as Michael and I Do)
  3. (Your Personal Spiritual Creativity)
  4. (The Battle of Ego Presentations)
  5. (Delightful Self-forgetfulness V.s. Compulsion)
  6. (Taking the Initiative)
  7. (What to Do with Stingy People)
  8. (Falling in Love with Being in Love)
  9. (Being Part of a Group and Equally Independent)
Dear Mother Spirit and Michael, We thank you for this ongoing series of lessons on what constitutes a human being, and all the physical, mental, spiritual, and soulful realities we inhabit--whether consciously or not. You help us face our persisting mistakes and mal-adaptations, laziness, weaknesses, and unhealthy habits, with a renewed strength of heart and an ever resurgent hope to achieve, someday, your offered spiritual goals of truth and beauty and goodness. So we thank you for your view of us, and your faith in us. We hope this relationship with the two of you is also something which has no end. Amen.

NEBADONIA: Good evening, my children, this is your mother, Nebadonia. You know how I do value in turn your own appreciation of Michael and me, and what we have to offer. These last few lessons we have tried our best to reassure you of your human reality--just as you experience yourselves day to day. This is no illusion, and it does have lasting spiritual significance in your souls. Ever remember, my dear children, the co-author of your souls is a pure fragment of God’s own spirit. Your souls are the portrayal of your lives right from the beginning with all the completeness and spiritual wholeness that characterizes God himself.

(The spiritual co-author of your souls)

We hope we have addressed some of the ages-old paradoxes involved in your philosophies and religions by at least trying to delineate some of your complexity and the ironies in starting out, as you do, simply as a self-conscious self with all the inherent limitations of a just-beginning personal being. Remember that your consciousness that is, in this sense--you, can continue to grow forever. Indeed, your consciousness needs to grow for you to--some glorious day--be able to appropriate your own soul, just because it is such a spiritually co-authored reality. This will be simultaneous with becoming one with that fragment of God which has been your life-long companion.

We know how strange it sounds, that you have to grow to become one with your own soul while at the same time, this living, also growing soul of yours, my children, has an ever greater influence and impact and contribution to your conscious self. Think of the great sense of character you get from old folks who seem to have been there and done that--seen it all; lived through it all; and still have a youthful, wistful smile playing about their faces from time to time. This is also that true and ever so valuable reminiscence you are capable of yourselves, so distinct from mere sentimentality which is more or less the blurring over of sharp distinctions and true events. Rather, keep in mind that any felt spirit that has real meaning for you, must mean all-inclusiveness. God is spirit, and literally experiences everything in cosmic reality. You are utterly transparent to Him, and to us, your immediate spiritual parents. This is the basis for both His and our faith in you. We see and feel the potential you have just as one of His children, one of our children.

(How to see others as Michael and I do)

And so we invite you to appropriate our viewpoint of not only you, but also of all your fellow human beings. This cannot only help you forestall any snap judgments and pre-conceived prejudices in the present, but also remind you of the shortcomings of your past having done so. It can help you be aware that what you are seeing in another person is just an instantaneous snapshot of an equally illimitable personal being. They too, my children--every single one is more than you can ever perceive or even imagine. Look with the eyes of curiosity and wonder. Look with the eyes of faith in their greater spiritual reality. Look even with the eyes of assurance--in them--perhaps far beyond what they might have in themselves. Then you will begin to see as Michael and I see. You will begin to see that eternal potential in this just-beginning son or daughter of God’s.

Further: we invite you to play our role. Put simply: if you love, you’ll tease. You’ll tease all you meet into realizing they are even more than they know, especially those poor, fearful, ego-maniacal, self-centered folks who are missing so much, not only of you, but of all the others around them. Be playful. Avoid butting heads with any ram-like persons who’re seeking nothing but confrontation and impact to feel alive. Use a little judo and delightfully side-step; tease them into a little wonder at your very graciousness that you do--not--return their behavior in kind. This is the delight in a spiritual orientation toward Michael’s Spirit of Truth, his all-inclusive truth which contains everyone; and in inviting others to do the same.

Whenever you encounter a lack of character is when you are most needful of offering some yourself. Always take the inter-personal game to a higher level. So many folks can be unintentionally insulting; you do them a great favor in being a little thick-skinned and not taking offence. Then see what a welcome relief it can be on their faces when you don’t take the offence that is their usual reply. Return any unintended slight with a welcoming smile. Some folks are simply too distracted, or without the mental facility, to return a well-meant welcome. Just extend them a pass; let it go. Meet whatever comes your way with genuine equanimity.

It is a delicate but powerful balance, my children; to be there for everyone you meet without requiring any specific response whatsoever. Yet this is the very openness to not only your own but also their potential, we invite you to walk through the world with. Seek to find this on a genuine level far beyond any kind of game-playing or simple trading as in: I’ll be good if you’ll be good. Just practice goodness for your own heart’s sake. What great and glorious realities of all these other people you can begin to enjoy. This can change not only your life, but this is, in its essence, what will change the world--and nothing else!

Right now the human race on Urantia lacks for nothing else--in total. There is enough land and food, enough shelter and other resources for all. Only a profound change in human relationships could reap an immediate reward in the lessening of all the offensive and defensive preparations for war and crime that still impoverish humankind. Michael and I have spoken before of the supreme irony that it is almost as if the human race, coming out of all the tooth and claw of nature, and a million years of warfare, were fearful of a worldly paradise which would so readily come about with this change of attitude. But the requirement is for even more courage to be friendly, to be kind, to be generous and love unconditionally.

We know it seems so utopian, but it is only from such a perspective, my children, that you can appreciate all the strife and fear and preparations that still plague your world and stunt your common future. You can have some appreciation for all that terrible and terrifying past that was and still is your universal heritage. Think of how much of the Urantia book is devoted to explaining why the loss of a loyal Planetary Prince, and then the aborted mission of Adam and Eve, have been so important in your world history. As Michael said last time, you can have some appreciation, if not downright awe, for all your forbearers have had to come through.

It helps you make sense of what is happening day to day, that there is no human behavior that does not have some sufficient cause. Rather it is the lack of conscious personal creativity and courage that allows the same old patterns to persist, some indeed going back to the Lucifer Rebellion, two hundred thousand years ago, that thwarted a divine plan. It is only by encouraging and helping your children develop their own individual sense of personal creativity that you break out of these ages-old warring and parasitic patterns and attitudes.

(Your personal spiritual creativity)

So be of good cheer, my dear ones. The way out is always right in front of you. It comes from your own personal creativity, your own spirit, your own willingness to meditate and reflect, and open yourself to possibility. This is what provides the light for you to see through those limitations you may be taking for immutable, but which you can bend to your will. You literally grow out of them. You take everything you have and have been, and add to it. This is the movement of spirit, the movement toward wholeness and completeness and all-inclusiveness. You open your heart and your mind and your soul to everything! Then, with your wonderful humility in the face of that, be unafraid to let it compel you to grow. It means welcoming the challenge of human consciousness-and-soul growth God has set before you.

Yes, it is true we have every faith in you. We know what you are capable of. We see you co-creating your own reality every day, moment by moment. We just encourage you to be aware of that, and glory in it. Glory that God made you just such a creative being, able to respond anew to His ever new creation, with no end in sight. You have so much to be thankful for. God, our universal Father, does appreciate this worship, all the more since it is not in any way required. It is your pure gift to Him, and to us. Michael and I most humbly thank you for this spiritual generosity of yours, your appreciation of us.

Now if you have any questions or comments this evening, on these or any other subjects dear to your hearts, bring them forth.

Student: Good evening, Mother, I do appreciate what you are saying, though I couldn’t feel too much farther away from it than I have these last couple of days. Instead of finding that people are full of riches, I end up feeling exhausted by them for being so much the same as they’ve always been. I know I must process this…not being able to have a more creative perspective myself, but it wears me down. So there are other times when I can feel what you said, but tonight I don’t. I don’t feel generous--very generous anyway.

NEBADONIA: My daughter, thank you for your honesty; and I commend you on your self-honesty. True enough, human life is not all up and up and up. We must admit that in our teasing you to be of good cheer, we understand it is quite impossible to be that all the time. It is much more important for you to be honest and at one with yourself, no matter what is--as you say--coming down.

(The battle of ego presentations)

If I would have any advice to offer you, my daughter, it would be, don’t take people entirely for how they present themselves. You can get caught up in their ego-trips and find yourself bound up in your own ego response to theirs. So you have this battle of presentations. I hoped tonight to illustrate a way out of this head-butting dilemma. Use a little judo on their presentations, especially their aggressive or possessive ones, by seeing the larger part of them. I’m talking about an understanding you are capable of, but might be denying yourself out of shyness or even a well-meant desire not to be standing above anyone and judging them--all very commendable.

We pointed out one time the distinction between prejudice, pre-judging someone, which pretends to a kind of God-like ability to totally determine who and what a person is, and how this is very distinct from the moment to moment assessments you need to make in all your relationships. Consider the example of assessing that someone is fibbing or exaggerating a bit on some minor manner, and making the judgment they are a total and complete liar. So don’t deny yourself these assessments of who they are as totally as you can perceive, but also intuit with subtle impressions within yourself. In meeting another person you stay with the kind of equanimity I mentioned; you still contain yourself. You literally don’t need this contact: you are whole and complete in yourself. And so you can keep yourself from being possessed, or attacked, and still be there. As you talked about with Michael last time, this preserves your energy so you don’t feel drained, even after some ugly confrontation. You’re able to forgive all those slings and arrows of outrageous fortune as you let them slide off you.

(Delightful self-forgetfulness V.S. compulsion)

So think about your own notions of loving others, and whether or not they compel you, in some way, to lose yourself. This is a tricky balance because we’ve also recommended self-forgetfulness. There’s another distinction here in being self-contained and not desperately needing the contact, which gives you the freedom to let yourself go.

I know these are very subtle distinctions, but they are very real ones. They can mean the difference between being exhausted by a relationship and being able to guide it, to tease it into something more spiritually free and fulfilling. Does any of this make any sense?

Student: Yes, it does. I guess part of it is feeling this duty I’m supposed to be there. I’m supposed to show up and I know I’ve been giving too much of myself away in doing that--I’m not sure how. Part of it comes from long-time unmet needs where the relationship is not reciprocal. I don’t know if that makes any sense to you.

NEBADONIA: Oh!--very much so. You are, again, expressing very well where you are right now. Also, my daughter, I don’t expect you to respond fully to what I’m saying in your present, exhausted state. (both laugh) These are just things to think about. I’m pointing to a way out with the very nitty-gritty observation that it is up to you to take the initiative, because in so many of these situations I feel you are in, the other person, or persons, are simply not capable of doing so.

Student, breaking up laughing: Yes!

(Taking the initiative)

NEBADONIA: So how do you take the initiative and contain yourself--be sufficient unto yourself--enough that you can then forget yourself, and still not be taken advantage of? I think you know the principle of “tough love” in which allowing yourself to be taken advantage of really helps no one at all, neither you nor them. You have to watch your instinct to always reach out and keep someone from stubbing their toe. Sometimes you have to let them, for their own need to experience, to stand on their own two feet, whether they are yet capable of this or not. This is love. This is that holding in your mind the awareness of the greater potential they have, and need to exercise.

These human relationships are a true measure of your own spiritual growth, and why it is so helpful to see others as Michael and I, and our Father, see them. But enough for now. You have quite enough to digest. Be in my love, my daughter; and get some rest. (Yes…thank you)

Student: Yes, Mother Spirit, I was thinking of all the people I know in my life today, in the context of what you were saying, and even with those I don’t agree with, I can look in their eyes and see it’s only a difference of opinion or viewpoint. So I try not to butt heads with what are simply ideologies. I just express who I am.

One thing I need to be still with is being compassionate with my granddaughter’s father, keeping in mind I hear about things only from my daughter’s perspective. What I do hear is how badly he treats her, or refuses to pay child support, yet he can buy an expensive car, live in an expensive apartment, and buy an expensive TV and other stuff. It’s so out of balance. So finding compassion for him is hard because he affects my daughter and granddaughter.

I understand it’s because of the way he’s been brought up, so, past a lot of anger where I want to shake him and demand he be more human, I’m just trying to allow some compassion here…and toward others, even though I feel they’re falling short of living as fully human beings.

NEBADONIA: Yes, my son, let’s say for the sake of this discussion that your daughter’s assessment of the situation is accurate. The question becomes one of: what do you do with a stingy person? We speak of the wonderful delight of spiritual generosity, but what do you do when you encounter someone who is stingy with themselves either materially, mindfully, spiritually, or all of these?

(What to do with stingy people)

Your idea of compassion is well directed toward a genuine sympathy for how this person is so terribly short-changing himself in his very self-centeredness, his lack of spiritual generosity and all the fun and reward that comes from that. This compassion can be consistent with demanding he meet his financial responsibilities, which is another echo of my point of not letting yourself be taken advantage of. You’re actually helping this person meet their rightful legal and moral responsibilities on the spiritual level of life-value.

The only thing I would caution you on, my son, is having too narrow a view on what you call human because, unfortunately, being human encompasses such a wide spectrum from the most generous to the most stingy and violent, even sociopath kind of behavior. This is partly why your appeal to someone’s so-called basic humanity may not mean much to them. Try to be more specific.

Student: Yes--like his being more honest with himself, or empathetic toward my daughter who’s a single mom now, relying on that support for their daughter. But he’s also so mean-spirited--really abrupt with no conversation at all, just the minimum of acknowledging her. And only three months ago they were supposed to get married. It just boggles the mind to think this person lived with all of us for three years, and now has so abruptly turned. But I suggested to my daughter that she in turn remind him that they will be connected through their daughter for the rest of their lives. That’s reality, even though there’s all this emotion and anger and self-righteousness so soon after the break-up. Hopefully, in time, that will change and they can both grow.

(Falling in love with being in love)

NEBADONIA: Well, my son, you are exercising what I suggested this evening and that is to look beyond how he presents himself and keep an eye on the potential for an increasing maturity. For again, this behavior is all too human. People can fall in love simply with being in love as a wondrous state of mind--one that may not be all that genuinely loving to their partner. Then when this mental state abruptly ceases, all their hopes and dreams based on it collapse with it, along with how they’ve been seeing each other. The shock of sudden strangeness can be severe and give rise to much anger or hatred as a purely self-defensive reaction--reaction as contrasted to real, creative, loving and respectful action.

Student: Yes. I think that was the case--still is the case.

The other thing I’ve been thinking about is the thought of: do I have to participate in these meetings, and the other ones--the other gatherings I attend? Is there a point where I ought to rely upon my own self, my own inner voice, and not be so compelled to come here or go there? I just wonder about that lately. Do you know what I’m saying?

NEBADONIA: Oh--very much so, my son. This is similar to what the Urantia book addresses insofar as: how do you know that what you feel inside is coming from your Thought Adjuster--the presence of God within you, or just your own wish fulfillment? What is your own, distinct inner voice coming from your deepest personal self? The answer is the same: you have to experiment. You can’t always know. Sometimes you simply have to try. You may have to take a break and be by yourself for a while, and see if all these meetings are from a dependence you may want to outgrow, or from a deeper joy of sharing ideas and experience. For my part, you’ve always been a rather independent soul and have taken what Michael and I have offered with a grain of salt; and this we encourage. We are tickled that you think about what we say, and then accept it or not depending on whether or not it resonates within you.

This is what we encourage in general: entertain what comes your way, feel for your response--or lack of it, and then make up your own mind. Sometimes it does help to take a break and be by yourself for a while. So feel your way along. Meditate and see what this larger self of yours suggests.

Student: Yes, because part of it is a resistance to any kind of organizational thing, because I do desire to come from my own inner teacher. I don’t want to get caught up in someone else’s teaching, even though it’s really beautiful and life-changing and transforming. I feel like I don’t want to be deluded in this, but discerning. I want to experience who I am through my own--I don’t know--putting myself out there? And there’s a lot of fear in letting these things go I’ve been involved with for years. They’ve been part of my life.

(Being part of a group and equally independent)

NEBADONIA: My son, may I suggest that if you find it impossible to be both part of a group and equally independent, you do take a break. Just try things. This is part of a true spiritual adventure: you get to a point where you cannot see too far ahead and you have to simply--but profoundly--experiment.

Student: That’s true. I’m not lessening who I am if I don’t exactly know which way to go, and have to try. I guess that was what I was reaching for.

NEBADONIA: Also, Michael and I have always welcomed your using this forum for exploring what you feel and think--self-exploration as well as self-expression. And we think you have. You’ve gotten some feedback and gone on to decide for yourself what to believe. But we’ve taught, and you’ve accepted to a large degree, that the future is often opaque to your best efforts to penetrate it and see what you should do. You can’t be too afraid to experiment. Try things and be open to the result.

Student: I do feel an energy resides within me for several days after these meetings--something more palpable. But I also have confidence in my…directionless direction? It’s who I am.

NEBADONIA: It is always up to you, what is the next step. There may be some righteous fear involved: think of it as caution. Either way, Michael and I are always with you, always here. And this forum will be here for a while. Feel free.

Student: Yes--I understand. I can always communicate with Jesus in my own stillness, more and more; along with God--more and more.

NEBADONIA: Your writing--your journaling is a way of helping keep a record of this, your consciously available soul reaching for that greater soul that a fragment of God is helping you write. So by all means: all of the above. You’ve been reaching to experience intuitively who you are and what you want--what you want to do; which is what we’ve been suggesting all along, and you’ve been taking to heart. You will never escape my love or Michael’s wishes for your peace. We can only offer this advice: do what you think best. You are in the driver’s seat, my son, which is what we’ve always wanted you to realize. Be in my love.

What fun this is!--being able to share your adventures with you. We even feel your terror (Mother Spirit laughs) sometimes, at some feared precipitous drop in front of you. The future can be opaque at times and we have already--and often--granted that human life is truly like standing on the edge of a cliff. This realization is part of your growing wisdom that you need courage not to short yourself on that great, if sometimes fearful, climb to spirit, trusting that God is the sure ground beneath your feet. It is all part of your full human estate. You must even find it in your heart to forgive God for setting up human life with so much pain and uncertainty as definite experiential possibilities. Truly everything exists within His existential being it is possible for you to experience, right--as we’ve said--right down to the feeling of five o’clock in the morning, or the taste of strawberries. Everything you experience--everything!--is the result of personal creation, either on His part, that of His other children, or your own. You can only try your best to make it your own--in full consciousness.

Once again, my dear, dear children, be of good cheer. By that we mean stout heart, great courage, great love and forgiveness. See the delight in the eyes of those you forgive, and then tease into a realization of their greater selves. You’ll have some taste of what Michael and I do delight in, in our beloved children. Be in my love. Good evening.