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Group: Nashville, Tennessee

Teacher: HAM


March 15, 2001

Greetings children, I am Ham and I am gratefully happy for your attendance this evening. This lesson shall be about even greater acts of forgiveness. Forgiveness is something which has layers to it. There's the first layer where you say, "I forgive you", or you try to forgive, make a conscious effort, but you find that this is only the beginning. Acts of forgiveness eventually engulf the entire spirit, the entire soul, and there are many layers of forgiveness within each person. Often when you have trouble forgiving someone, this is not just about that person or that one incident, it's a whole layer within your psyche and there is often a root cause deep in childhood. Sometimes it is something that your parents could not forgive of you, other times it is something that you could not forgive of your parents.

This lack of forgiveness within you remains until something else comes along which bothers you out of proportion and you find it difficult to simply forgive that person and move on because you are linking the two events or two situations unconsciously. The deepest levels are times when you were not loved or could not love and you unconsciously cannot forgive that lack either within yourself or the lack of love from another. Parents are not usually able to give complete and perfect love to their children. There is usually some level of deep criticism or resentment that forms. This is a form of non-forgiveness like a stain that stays within you throughout your life. When someone accidentally uncovers that stain, it reawakens these old feelings.

Now how do you get through that how do you get through those deep levels? We have spoken of forgiveness and forgiving time after time but often that is a surface forgiveness and that interior resentment or uneasiness remains. When that is the case, it is because your inability to forgive completely goes very deep.

Children are born expecting God to be immediately available. You are all born with the expectation of total love, total acceptance, complete benevolence in the world. As soon as you came up against lack of benevolence, lack of total consideration for your needs, you unconsciously resented God. You were born with perfect expectations and plunged into a world of imperfection and even though it is not expressed in words, your early thinking process is how can He, meaning God, let this happen to me. So, your resentments at the very deepest level, aren't even toward your parents or toward your siblings or something. It is actually, toward that being who is closest to you, that being is the Father, the Spirit of God who lives within you.If God is fair and all knowing and all loving, then why did he allow me to be hurt? The answer to this lies deep within he Father's wisdom, but in the child's mind, there is a feeling that the child is being rejected by the universe, rejected by God. So the child cannot forgive himself for being defective. Now these are layers which take years and years to touch upon. It is not something you can experience overnight, but simply by virtue of being born in an imperfect world, experiencing the imperfection of God's love as it is filtered through other beings, you instinctively doubt yourself and instead of staying there in that world of confusion and self doubt, your resentment is turned outward, and there are people in everyone's past which you cannot fully and completely forgive. Even when you think you have and you think you have reached new levels of spirituality and forgiveness, something will come along to trigger those old feelings again and you will find that you are not as far along as you thought.

Now you know that the struggle for forgiveness is between yourself and God. The Father, on his side, is complete forgiveness. He knows nothing else. On your side, there is a bit of a struggle because that forgiveness is all wound up in forgiving yourself and your parents and the person who just brought this all up and maybe a whole string of people in your past. But I say to you, make it simple. Trace it back. I am having trouble forgiving this person because he reminds me of my father who treated me this way and I felt worthless and couldn't forgive myself for not eliciting his love, and I've carried a resentment toward God. When you're having trouble forgiving someone, you're having trouble forgiving that part of yourself that needs God's love, and somehow there is some kind of shame or guilt associated with that part of God's love.

So what are we forgiving? We're forgiving ourselves for being children. You are forgiving yourself for having need of love, then you can find that if you really tap that root feeling that forgiveness will rush over you and you will find love for yourself and that other person. Humans often make the mistake of making things too complex. It is easy for intelligent minds to over complicate something very simple but I say to you that in all matters, find the simplest way, the simplest and the most direct way to the Father. Ask for his help. Let him show you the reality of your own innocense. Accept his love into your hearts without any reservation, without anything which says, "I don't really deserve it", and this you will be practicing all your lives because in these layers, there will be a layer underneath that is not quite ready to open yet, and you must forgive yourselves for this as well. Don't be ashamed of being a human being. You were all born into difficult circumstances. No one escapes the hard lessons of life, but the wisest among you use these hard lessons to grow closer and closer to the Father of all. Always, this will involve going deep within, for the Father wants your whole heart. He wants your love to be as complete for him as his love is complete for you. Are there any questions at this time?

David: So Ham if our feelings get hurt when we interact with others, is this an indication of incomplete forgiveness?Ham: Yes, yes, exactly so. Feelings being hurt, or unreasonable anger, anything like that.

Hal - I always thought when something like that happens you are seeing something in them

that you dislike in yourself and it causes this anger. Is that an over simplification?

Ham: No, it is similar to what we are speaking of, but allow yourself to take it a little deeper. If you are seeing something in another that you have found unforgivable in yourself, then it will lead back to those earlier experiences that we spoke of.

Dan; You've said something profound and radical, that part of our task is to forgive God, and that is so vast in its implications the idea that we cannot fully love God until we love God

Does God ask us for forgiveness?

Ham: God asks for complete love and in getting that complete love, if there is an element of forgiveness that must be gone through, then yes, you could say that he asks for forgiveness. When you are forgiving God, you are forgiving yourself.

Hal: for that great self centeredness

Ham: Yes, very much so. Having the realization that you have resentments toward God and then feelings of guilt and confusion over having these feelings of resentment. This is very primal psychological territory.

Hal: Like the solution is to become as a little child

Ham: Yes, to forgive your self in being a child.

Dan: But part of is that God did put us in a shit hole, and I want to investigate that a little more, I think that a lot of people are angry with God, and I just got in touch with my anger. Is it that What helps us forgive God?

Ham: Yes, my son. The child always feels anger and resentment over the Father's lessons. There is no one who thinks that their life lessons have been too easy. Everyone is somehow forced up against the limits of their abilities and endurance. It is easy to say that God's plan is a mystery and one day we will understand. It is quite another thing to actually understand that. If you did, you would be God, not His son. The creature always wants to be the creator. The child wants to be the Father. That is a part of immaturity, the process of growing up. With maturity comes wisdom. With wisdom, comes acceptance. With acceptance comes love. But these things are not achieved overnight. I would not be out of place to say that they will not be fully achieved until paradise. So between here and paradise, is a long, slow laborious, frustrating process of gradual spiritual growth. The child says, "If I were my Dad, I would let me have chocolate all day", but the Father in his wisdom, removes the chocolate, and replaces it with Brussel sprouts. The child is naturally resentful, but when you step back and see the bigger picture, the child really has no reason to be resentful, and should be thankful instead. Is this helping your understanding at all?

Yes, so it's like you have to take the chocolate with the Brussel sprouts. You're the man Ham.

.Hal: You have to accept that selfishness and self-centerdness are the natural state of being a child.

Katie: When we pass out of this life, that the next one is better3D3D3D3D3D3D3D3D3D3D3D is it safe to say that it's so much better? Do the challenges lessen on the way to paradise????

Ham: Well, it is somewhat of a paradox, because it would seem that the immediate next life is much less stressful, less intense. But, the challenges are ever-greater as you progress. But the time element is much more elastic. I would think that the lives you are undergoing now are probably the most short and intense time you will spend in the universe. It's like the challenges are red hot, whereas, as you progress, the challenges may be just as great or greater, but it is much cooler and less pressured. I hope this helps explain.Yes.

Marla: I have a question about coincidences do things in this life happen for a reason, and do we ever have a sign that we re on the right path??

Ham: There is no wrong path. All paths are unique. Your path is yours. There is not sense of going in the right or wrong direction, necessarily, so long as you are going in a general way toward increasing spiritual understanding. That being said, the Father's spirit that lives within you has a unique plan for you. This plan will allow the greatest self-realization for you in this life. It is our free-will choice to accept or reject any part or whole of any plan that He provides. The Father adjusts to you. Your will is supreme. Your decisions allow him to create new opportunities. In other words, He is always with you and on the side that will be the very best for your spiritual growth. This usually never means an easy life, but a life full of adventure and challenge, yes. Is this helping your understanding?


Amalayne: It seems to me that what you are saying in this lesson is that for instance of what we have, the story of Job would be the ultimate example of what we speak and it is a book that has been a conundrum, but Job forgives God everything that God hurls at him.

Ham: Well, this story portrays God as delighting in the torment of his son which is never the attitude of the Father.

But perhaps the perception of the child.

Ham: Yes. This is exactly so, my daughter. Anything further?

No, you've given me enough to digest, thank you.

Ham: You are welcomeRicallo: First a hello from your friend in Memphis, Sonny Gentry, and second, may I have a personal message tonight?

Ham: Certainly, my son. You do well and have come through some difficult times over the past few months. Your faith is renewed and strengthened after having been quite severely tested. You are realizing more and more the power of faith. Embrace this knowledge and go in peace my son for you do well.

Hal: Ham, a personal message for Marije:

Ham: My daughter, be at peace. You are coming to realize that you needn't be in such a hurry about things. Relax and slow down a little bit. Let a day's work be sufficient unto that day. Get plenty of rest and you will be feeling better in a couple of days. That is all.

Hal: Norbert?

Ham: Yes, my son. Have courage and faith at this time. Having true faith requires a lot of courage. It is easy to have faith when there is nothing testing that faith. But when tests come, it takes courage to hang on to that faith that you have cultivated. Remember this and you will be fine. That is all.

Hal: Kari?

Ham: My daughter, you do well. Take time for quiet contemplation. Cherish your times of rest and relaxation. Let all things come in their time. Be at peace. That is all.

Hal: Esmeralda?

Ham: Certainly, my daughter. Contemplate my lesson of forgiveness don't try to rush into premature conclusions. Rather, contemplate without judgement for a time. You do well. That is all.

Hal: Elaina:Ham: Daughter, you are doing well, the stillness practice is getting better and you are coming to enjoy it. Keep opening your heart to acceptance and love for yourself. Contemplate my lesson. That is all.

Hal: Rebecca?

Ham: My daughter, you are doing well. You have much to be thankful for, and much in your life that you cherish. Live in the "now" time and truly appreciate all that you have. That is all.

Hal: Myself?

Ham: Take this time, my son, to explore areas of forgiveness and to find a greater self-awareness thereby. Do not take this task lightly. Forgiveness is a great key for you right now. Questions?

Do you have a personal message for me?

Ham: Certainly, my daughter. Yes, you are a person who lives very intensely in the "now", and yet you also have a great imagination and a developing creative side. When you bring these two things together, be in the "Now" completely with imagination that is where your greatest creativity will be born. That is all.

Ham do you have a personal message for me?

Ham: Certainly, my son. Your life has been marked by a great searching. At times there was doubt in your mind about the effort and the end of that searching, but it is something that has continued throughout your life. There are times when you've thought this is what I was searching for and the search is over. But then the restlessness would begin again and the search would continue. Understand that everyone has an innate hunger and deep thirst for things of the spirit. Sometimes that hunger and thirst is directed into other areas. But it remains and always is a driving force leading each person to the Father. The searching is never a failure - it is simply a process of spiritual growth. Life does not exist without growth. Everything living is also growing is some way. Have awareness that you are growing toward God and all this searching and restlessness has been simply an outworking of that growth. Know that you are a beloved son of God who reaches toward you and longs to cradle you within his everlasting arms and to bestow upon you true peace in his love. When you find a way to surrender to his arms, like the prodigal son, then you will find that peace which passes all understanding. You do well my son, go in peace.

Thank you

Ham: you are welcome. Questions?

Ham, I have a health related question, is that OK. Heart irregularities I am experiencing.

Ham: My son, the heart muscle has been somewhat overtaxed. Yes, there is some hardening of the arteries which causes blood to come back in like instead of being completely expelled, it is coming back in, and that valve is a little bit compromised. Be very careful to exercise in moderation - reduce saturated fats, take a baby aspirin every day to help thin the blood, because that's part of the problem. This isn't anything immediately life-threatening, but something that should probably be watched and care needs to be given to the body. This is like a warning signal therefore heed it and be very careful.


David: So your dashboard light went on.

Terry: I'd like to know a good time for a health reading

Ham: Certainly, my dear. The weekend is fine. You can tell me what time and day.

Terry: How about Saturday at 2:00.

Ham: Very well

Tiffany - Terry's daughter:Ham: Certainly. Yes, my dear. Your life is opening up in ways that you don't fully understand right now. These last few months have been a little bit of a cross roads and the path you have chosen will allow you to open into greater and greater self-realization. Be at peace with these decisions and have confidence in yourself. You do very well. That is all.

David: How about Charlie Beyer

Ham: Certainly, my son. You are entering a period of slowing down. Where you've been rushing and pushing, now is time to slow down, rest and relax more. Realize that there is a time for everything. Accept periods of relaxation as you accept periods of activity. Know that these things are part of the Father's will and be at peace.

Do you how I can rid the vermin men out of my life? Actually you already answered it, because. . .

Ham: very wise and true, you are a person who is often running in a great hurry and sometimes you make decisions very quickly, perhaps without receiving all of the fullness of the information.

Take some time to really be with yourself. Talk to the Father and express to Him all your feelings and frustrations. Talk to Him as you would talk to a close friend, one who is completely understanding. Really begin to experience a relationship with the Father, not as a hypothetical, but as a person. He who created personality can not be less than personal. Open yourself up to Him. Begin this personal journey and I would predict or imagine that your other personal relationships will be aided. Yes. That is all. Is this helping?


Ham: Questions? If there are no further questions, then I will take my leave, but as always, children, my love and my prayers go with you each. You are always in my thoughts and in my personal prayers. I cherish my relationship with each one of you. Go in peace - farewell.