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Group: Nashville, Tennessee

Teacher: HAM




May 28, 2000

Ham: Greetings, children, I am Ham and I am grateful that you have all come together here this day. Our lesson this evening shall consist of underscoring several concepts we have previously discussed.

The first concept or understanding we shall discuss is spiritual awakening. Sometimes this happens in an instant and you see your life and its meaning suddenly very clearly. Other times it is a gradual process of small steps walking toward the light of truth but most often it is a combination of the two. The Father's spirit who lives within you can at certain times flash insight or truth or awakening into your mind and you will experience a few moments of enlightenment.

This often happens at crucial life junctures or consequent upon a major life decision so that your thinking is advanced , your decision reinforced, and your understanding is broadened in a moment. Then, of course, the moment passes and you are left to ponder its meaning and often attempt to regain that feeling of sublime peace and that unfathomable wisdom which has come and gone. Sometimes years pass and you find yourself back on the treadmill of everyday living trying to advance in the normal every day sense but that experience serves to keep guiding you on an unconscious level and you are often advancing spiritually even if at times you don't feel you are.

In that way, you are like a little chipmunk daring about feeding on the seeds and the flowers and the Father is leading you by giving you little morsels to follow and though you may dart here and there you are still advancing towards him. The Father beckons with his love. Never does he force or overawe the human mind.

Do not fear that if you haven't received on of these sublime experiences for a while that you are somehow becoming less worthy of them. The Father lives within you and he knows what to give you at each time because his whole purpose is to pull you toward him even as you do this willingly and walk forward on your own.

The second concept I wish to speak about is that of love and your experience of love and loving is somewhat similar in that you have periods of openness, joy, love freely expressed and then periods where you feel more withdrawn, more private, perhaps more confused about your feelings. This is also normal and part of the process. There are times when you feel filled with love and loving towards everybody you meet. These are times of spiritual openness and times of lessened fear of love.

Every person has some fears lurking within which tend to manifest in the closing off of the love impulse. This does not mean that you are losing ground spiritually, but you should be aware that it is fear that inhibits love and when you give into these fears you are like to little chipmunk who runs way over to the side to pick up the acorns he decides would be better. When you give into the fear impulse, you very likely simultaneously camouflage it with the cloak of ego determination. That ego self says, "I will judge, I will decide, I will accomplish, etc." But, you must understand that this feeling it borne of fear of love. Love requires a surrendering, a certain passivity, a patience, a willingness to wait upon the Father's will. The ego self falsely claims, "I must do such and such or else such and such...." It is the self that is judging, determining, and initiating action. When you are living a life of Father- initiated action, there is tranquility, a sense of peace, and non urgency, and always a willingness to enjoy the moment and to live in the now rather than plotting the next move.

Which comes to the next point I wish to make and that is listening to God. Waiting upon God and listening to God are the same. It is a willingness to take the reins out of your own hands and place them in the Father's. In this, you initiate action that you feel led to do or inspired to do but you do not worry about the results of those actions. You do not say, "this must lead to this then to this". You simply take the action and allow the Father's will to work from then on. None of you can ever know all the ramifications of each of your actions. Many things happen from something you initiated that you will never know about and trusting God is trusting this.

The wisdom of man is limited and his actions seem to affect only that which he can see but there are many, many reactions to every action you take. When you wait upon the Father and follow his will you can know that the actions you take results in the greater good. When you take action based on your own ego needs, those ramifications can be quite mixed. That is why it is important to always examine your heart and pray that you may fulfill the Father's will for you to the best of your abilities. Are there any questions at this time?

Q: Ham, last Sunday I had a strange experience that prevented me from being here and at the time it seemed negative and frightened me. I felt like I had some spiritual awakening and that I needed some emotional cleaning of house and I am meeting some resistance from family members. I wonder if I am going about it the right way and any insight you might have into the experience and how I am feeling now would be great.

Ham: Of course my dear. Often times spiritual growth requires emotional healing and this healing requires a willingness to accept the scars that have been inflicted during various points in your development. Realize that you don't need to bring others along with you, that it isn't necessary that these things be revisited with those who participated with you at an earlier time. You can experience healing by understanding and meeting those old experiences yourself and you must realize that your perspective on these things is different than the other people. Everyone has to go through this experience themselves and everyone has to find understanding for themselves in their own way. You have much support for this emotional healing, but be careful not to require something from someone who is not ready to give it to you because you will hurt yourself all over again.

Q: Marian says, she would like to ask ham for a personal message and would also like to ask how he feels about baptism, if it is important to be baptized. She thinks her relationship with the father is good, but in reading the bible it stresses the importance of being baptized and this confuses her.

Ham: My dear, you are doing well. John, who was called the Baptist said it best when he explained that I baptize with water but there will come another who will baptize you with the spirit. The Spirit of Jesus literally floods all around you and if you open your heart to it, to his sublime comfort and appealing truth you are baptized by that spirit, not once but many times. He embraces you as his daughter, even now, and his spirit washes through you. Jesus does not require the use of human hands or material water in order to claim you as his own. Be at ease, for you are thinking rightly.

Q: We have a question from Norbert. He asks for a personal message regarding love and relationships for him.

Ham: Of course. All human relations will eventually be based in love, but until that time, love seems to be withheld and dolled out depending on many things but most in response to your own fears and insecurities. Every person fears rejection and therefore fears to love or to love too much. You must come to understand that you are never rejected by God and once you feel firmly and forever secure in that love, then you are much more secure in your experience of human love. Humans often mistake the absence of a reciprocal affection from others as proof of their unlovingness and this is very sad to see for it is entirely erroneous. Learn first to love God with all your heart and all your soul. Next, learn to love yourself and to accept yourself as God accepts you. Then, you can have a relationship with another that is built on a true foundation.

Q: Ham, may I have a personal message tonight please.

Ham: Certainly. Son, you are doing exceptionally well. Your progress is steady and sure. As you find more security in God's love for you, you find also more security within yourself and in your place in the world. Walk forth with confidence and expand your love as you do so. He who walks encircled by love dwells in peace.

Q: I think I am going to ask for a personal message too please Ham.

Ham: Daughter, you do well. You are going through a renewed process of self-discovery and a broadened self-understanding. You have much less fear than even one year ago and you have begun to truly experience a love for yourself and that must deepen even more. Remember that you are truly blessed love and protected from the spiritual forces that surround you and uphold you. Dwell in peace and be at ease.

Q: Ham, do you have a personal message for me tonight?

Ham: Of course my son, go forth in peace. You are coming very far in intellectual development and spiritual development. Your overall integration of all these things is very good. You have received a personal seraphic guardian who watches over you and protects you. You are a beloved son of God whose destiny now is assured here and in the life hereafter. Dwell in love and in peace my son. You are doing very, very well.

Q: Do you have anything for Esmirelda?

Ham: Of course. Daughter, you needn't struggle with yourself. Continue to pray and to give over your burdens to the Father. Do not fear for the way forward is easy.

Q: Elena?

Ham: Daughter, you are doing very well. You are finding new wells of faith and of hope within you. Pray for guidance and remember the stillness and you will be shown the way that is right for you. Fear not, all is well.

Q: Rebecca?Ham: Daughter, you are doing well. Be at peace and put down the last vestiges of worry or a troubled heart. Live fully a life of love and self-expression in that love. Continue to work along the lines we have given you and all is well.

Q: Jarad?

Ham: Jarad, you do well. You are finding a self-assurance that is deeper than you have known. You are finding a self-love that is also deeper than you have known before. Continue to have faith in your spiritual guidance and also in your self, in your inner resources.

Q: Ham, do you have a message for me tonight please?

Ham: Of course my son, you are pursuing the spiritual path with a determination that is refreshing. I know that you have moments of doubt and even a feeling of doubt in your own faith but this is borne mostly of momentary fear or even of fatigue and becoming too tired because you tend to push yourself. Continue to come to the well that is within you, that you can find in stillness. Refresh yourself with that connection to that which is holy and give yourself seasons of rest.

Q: Ham do you any input for me this evening?

Ham: Son, you are doing very well. You have come far and yet you continue to delve deeply into your soul and to strive for self-understanding and awareness. Remember that the Father's hand is always within your reach and that you are never alone. Remember that the Master himself loves you and embraces you with his spirit. Remember, that the universe is your home and you have a secure and even honored place within it. Go in peace my son, you do very well.

Q: Do you have message for Charlie B?

Ham: Certain, son. You are learning well the lessons of time. You are finding that life is beginning to be somewhat easier for you as you let go of the illusion that you are upholding your life and those of your family and friends. Also, do not worry if you stub your toe on the great walk toward the Father. Allow for your humanness and be at peace.Q: Do you have feedback for me this week?

Ham: Yes, son. You do well. You are coming to a place where possibilities are opening. Rely upon your inner guidance as you make your way forward among these possibilities. Have faith in yourself son and faith in your ability to discern the Father's will. Go in that way where love is expanding.

Are there any further questions? Very well, then, once again until next week, my prayers and my love go with you each.