Nebadonia - Your Will & Gods Will - Jan 22, 2007 - Marin TM
Nebadonia—January 22, 2007
Marin TM Group—Mill Valley, California—U.S.A.
Dear Mother Spirit and Michael, We meet again. Although we know now that your Holy Spirit, Mother, and your Spirit of Truth, Michael, have been with us all our lives, we do appreciate your inaugurating the Teaching Mission and having these direct conversations with us. One dramatic change we’ve noticed in our lives because of these last few years is our relationships with our friends and acquaintances, and even complete strangers. We have experienced your truth: the deeper we can feel your peace and your love within us, the more responsive we can be, and elicit the same in others. You were right: what a treasure other people can be. So we thank you again. Amen.
NEBADONIA: Well, good evening, my dear children. This is Nebadonia, Divine Minister of Nebadon--your mother in spirit, your partner in loving all my children. It’s so rewarding to Michael and me, reflecting what you are finding in your relationships. You are beginning to experience the wonderful power of peace, the power of acknowledging those about you, the power of love--with what you beam out to others and then rejoice in feeling it being beamed back at you.
(Inside and outside: self-power and other-power)
These are also the rewards of faith, of hanging your intentions out there at risk, of daring to be hopeful and optimistic. Otherwise you would never know how changing your own attitude can generate this wonderful response from the world. You discover that ultimately there is no final demarcation between inside and outside. We’ve pointed at this before in terms of psychological projection, how you tend to encounter your own moods and attitudes in the objective world, both in what you unconsciously choose to perceive, and how your own inner spiritual values color everything you do perceive. Our last few lessons have been on how to encourage a true spontaneity and independence from yourself in those you meet by granting them the freedom to be themselves, encouraging them to express themselves spontaneously, delightfully.
Let us consider further by including the whole spiritual realm, and draw a rather arbitrary line, then, between inside and outside, with what I will designate self-power and other-power. Self-power is the spiritual power of your own personality, very unique and personal. It is not only your creative imagination--which can be highly conscious when you apply yourself to some project, it includes all the creativity of your spirit in presenting the world to your personality, which in turn real-alizes everything. Keep in mind that the world, from the standpoint of your personality and spirit, includes your own body. So as your Urantia book tells you, life is mostly what occurs between you and your environment, all that out there.
The other-power I mentioned here is the fact you are surrounded by an enormous spiritual community. This is not only Michael and myself, and your Guardian Angel, but is also all the seraphim who have been working for so many millennia now to help the whole human race evolve and progress. Crowning this community, omnipresent, is the glory of our Father.
Tonight I would like to introduce the concept of a balance between self-power and other-power, and how these can complement each other. For to limit yourself to only one and disregard the other is to stunt your spiritual potential. Self reliance is a wonderful concept and a great ideal to strive for along the lines we have suggested of being aware of your moment to moment completeness, your actuality. Some folks go through much of their life as if doubting their very existence, feeling themselves to be so fundamentally tenuous, they are totally bereft of any self-power in their ability to influence themselves or others.
So self confidence and self reliance are good expressions of this self-power that we invite you to cultivate, to feel, to experience. This is acknowledging and cultivating your own spiritual creativity, your ability to come up with something brand new, in space, in the stream of time. This is why we enjoy that expression, "more power to you." Other-power is simply the recognition--with all the wonderful perception of humility, that you are but a speck in the gigantic spiritual universe. All that out there is other-power from this point of view--spiritual beings beyond counting, even kinds of spiritual beings beyond human comprehension. Your Urantia book gives you a very rough outline indeed, starting with the Trinity and coming on down.
(Contacting other-power—prayer and worship)
The spiritual value, the very meaning of prayer is when you address all this other-power and ask for help. Then it is forthcoming by its own greater, loving wisdom. What a shame to go through human life not being aware of this, without being aware of us, and having to await your rebirth on the Morontia Spheres where you will feel us directly impinging upon you so much more easily.
But we are suggesting you can experience this while still in your first human life. You can get to know us, and acknowledge us, and use us. That’s largely what we’re here for, and it is our delight. This is a purpose we freely choose, yet too it is the function our Father created us to fulfill, to be your spiritual parents, your guides, your guardians, your helpmates. This is why, very recently in the Teaching Missions throughout the world, people are being introduced to how to contact and relate with their own spiritual teacher, generally a volunteer seraphim or ascendant mortal, coming to Urantia to establish just such friendships.
This will truly inaugurate a new dispensation on your world, one person at a time, as each of you reaches out for and contacts this other spiritual being who wants more than anything to share his or her life with you. And you have your own self-power, your own creativity, your own human experience to offer them. I ask you to consider these concepts deeply, especially as they relate to your day to day lives and all the various problems and challenges you face.
Think about how you can develop both of these powers, and how you can apply them to your life. Think about your own growing abilities, the power of character you derive from your growing soul, the deep peace and love and equanimity with which you can meet another. Then, in addition, remember you can address all the others out there in the spiritual realm with prayer and worship. Don’t hesitate to ask for help, and don’t be surprised if it comes in the very next thought you have, though, due to your own inner confusion at times, it may take longer to recognize. Remember that the more precisely and heartfelt you can articulate your prayer, just to that degree can be the more complete and recognizable quality of the answer. You will be using your own self-power to elicit the fullest response of ours.
Another way to address all other spiritual power is through worship. This is using your self-power to be humbly thankful for all the gifts the spiritual world has bestowed upon you, starting with your potentially eternal essence, your personality, coming from our Father. Here’s where you can also express your gratitude that he has bequeathed a Fragment of his spirit to live within you, subject to your will, and yet independent of your coming and going whims and emotions, being the faithful conservator of your human experience, the co-author of your soul.
Neither Michael nor I require your worship, my children. Our love is unconditional, as is the Father’s, but we do appreciate it, we do welcome it. It is the source of our greatest delight, for in doing so you are profoundly acknowledging us. You are using your self-power to give us reality within your realm of choice.
(Your will and God’s will)
So I invite you to ponder these two realms of self-power and other-power. You see how they are so interrelated, how they support and encourage each other, how they are reciprocal gifts, each to the other. This is what makes you part of our spiritual family. And so, finally, recognize and acknowledge that the same need for balance exists in all your fellow human beings. Wonder how you can demonstrate to them the glory of having a really fine balance here. There is no need for self deprecation, or the sometimes false humility of saying only, "Thy will be done." Rather, consider the devotion and commitment of saying, "It is my will that your will be done." Recognize he is already inside you. God does not separate himself from you, my children, do not separate yourself from him.
If you have any comments or questions this evening, along these or any other lines, exercise your power and bring them out.
Student: Thank you very much. It’s very appropriate, and made me remember once, when I was in my car and got caught up in some very frustrating thinking about money and finances--you know, if I had more money I could help my family better. I was really caught in that, but I said," Mother of God, please help me!"--in my mind. Instantaneously, Mother Spirit, I think--I guess it was you, I felt helped by an extremely quick shift in my conscious. I heard myself inside, what am I thinking about! Helping others is the only thing that’s important. I don’t need money to help people, I need to be myself, and optimistic, and attentive, and listening.
I instantly felt grounded again. I openly let go of that egotistical wave of fear about money. So I just want to thank you, I really mean that. It was so wonderful, and everything you said tonight--I’m laughing, I’m experiencing it—the balance of asking and then feeling the answer right there—that kindness is all the really matters. It was just a wonderful experience. Thank you very, very much.
(Understand and remember well)
NEBADONIA: Thank you, my daughter. I couldn’t ask for a better example of the wonderful balance, and the final inseparability--if you will, of self-power and other-power. Because this is the most genuine and valid poof you can know in your soul: in the very act of prayer, in asking for help, you can be instantaneously transformed. There is a temptation here to play a little Monday-morning quarterbacking and think, Well, I had this power all along. In doing so you can slight, or totally disregard, your heartfelt appeal that actually changed things. Here is where your own self-honesty, your own remembering and crediting all the little steps involved, gives you a true understanding of the powers involved—self and other. You’ve just experienced what we do our best to achieve, that is, when you ask us for help and strength, we give it to you as your own. We do appreciate when you remember the source.
Student: It definitely felt like it wasn’t my thought, at first. Something was just there going, "What are you thinking, you can’t help people! Of course you can help people without money!" And it was so gratifying to go—Oh yeah! (heavy sigh) And it felt just lovely.
There was one other thing that happened that was miraculous, Mother Spirit. Early one of those very cold mornings?—going into a neighborhood store? Out of the corner of my eye the mother in me saw these two young boys freezing, wrapped in blankets. I knew there was something wrong with the picture: they were not having fun—they must have slept out in the cold. So I asked, Universe, should I approach these boys? And I stood there about five seconds, and something said, Of course! So I asked them if they were hungry, and they were surprised… To make a long story short, they were runaways, from San Francisco. I took them into my home and gave them time to think about what they were doing.
My point is that the answer came to me right there—the familiarity of these boys, something about them, I just had the strength and certainty to know, Of course, you can help these boys. And it came out very well. They made good decisions, and I’m going to have them in my life, to visit. So thank you for that blending of an answer when I was really sincerely asking for one. I think I’m starting to feel the other-presence more and more these days. I never let myself before because of the nervous energy, and the fear. But I’m learning to listen. Thank you again.
NEBADONIA: I thank you, my daughter, this is a quality of recognition you’re getting now. You needn’t distinguish whether this is from your own Thought Adjuster, or from Michael or myself, or your Guardian Angel. The recognition that it is coming from the realm of spirit is enough, for with this quality of recognition--a feeling of validity, or a kind of super-truth, an extraordinary appropriateness, a greater realm—come these hallmarks. I salute your courage to follow upon it with concrete action, and gain two young and very needful friends. So be in my love as you extended yours to them.
Student: Mother, thank you for the reminder, for getting in touch with my spiritual teacher/friend seems to get lost in the everyday shuffle of my life. Thank you for reminding me to ask for help, because I get lost at it, and I need that from time to time. What I would like to ask is, what is the difference between imagination and visualization with respect to the Akashic Constructs, by George Bernard?
(Inner reality—visualization and conceptualization)
NEBADONIA: To answer you most succinctly, my son: not much! (laughter) Different folks have different creative abilities along an enormous spectrum of manifestations within themselves. Two very distinct—not at all opposed, but sometimes mutually exclusive specialties—if you will, are visualization and conceptualization. Some folks more easily visualize within their minds--other persons, or beings, other situations--as if seeing these, however clear or vague. Others create and realize within themselves more in terms of verbal concepts and ideas, and all their inter-relationships. A third type of creativity is largely expressed in terms of music. So these manifestations of spiritual creativity are unique and personal to different persons.
What you call the Akashic Record, which is for many people a vast and intricate belief system, while it impinges upon them in all these different ways, is not different in its essence. It is similar to when you try to communicate with each other and these differences get in the way. Visual persons might find it easiest to express themselves in the plastic arts, while the conceptually oriented person tends towards conversation, reading and writing for expression. Does this seem to agree with your own understanding on these matters?
Student: Mother, I will have to do some reading and studying. I realized while you were talking I was looking for a sign or portent that I was doing the right thing, and if I could just do this thing, this visualization, I would be OK within myself. Maybe that’s what is holding the whole process up. I think I’m a visual person. I like photography and the visual arts, although I’ve never quite had the discipline to do the painting and drawing and like that.
NEBADONIA: But strangely enough, my son, this may not translate directly over into your inner reality where you are seeking to experience an inner certainty. So during your stillness times with your eyes closed this coming week, set aside some time and just experiment. See if you can visualize within your inner world, or if it is the ideas, the thoughts themselves that are more convincing. Keep in mind what we pointed out one time, that you can think of thoughts as extremely finely articulated feelings. Thoughts are mostly just giving expression to a deeper, more fundamental inner reality of feeling-experience. In a sense you are talking with yourself in order to put this experience into words so you can focus more finely on it and capture it for a memory.
I mention this because what you are seeking might be more profound and elusive than what you can either visualize or articulate in thought. This again points at your fundamental reality, your personality, which, as we have said, is not directly perceptible to itself—you to yourself. You are infinite, or bottomless—to you. There is a final degree to which you cannot pick yourself up by your own bootstraps; you cannot lay hold of yourself; you cannot yet possess yourself. You’ve had only such a short time—cosmic-wise—to develop a soul, but that will keep growing. Some day you will be much more directly perceptible, and apprehensible to yourself. In the meantime, be not discouraged if you cannot get this visual, or even conceptual stamp of approval. You might have to continue for a while more—trusting—exercising your faith. But that too is something that can grow.
Student: Yes. Thank you, mother, for both the insight and the explanation; and the inspiration. I do appreciate them.
NEBADONIA: An interesting part of your human experience is like swimming along in familiar, shallow waters, then going to put your foot down and finding there is no bottom. (laughter; Yes, I’ve done that before) For a moment you are over your head, inside yourself, and wondering what happened. And so we reassure you there is nothing wrong here. You are just more infinite to yourself than you yet know. But you are finding out, and this too can bolster your faith. It takes courage to strive to be self-honest, and we commend you for this. But a large part of human reality is living in a state of question. This is that sublime uncertainty (Mother chuckles) we invite you to get used to. (students join in) Be in my love.
Student: Thank you once again, mother. I appreciate all of this.
Student: Yes, Mother, when you said "sublime uncertainty" I realized that all certainty is only right here and now, and is all we have. I’ve been asking myself what it is I want, and going deeper into that question, I get a sense of a lot I don’t want. Monjoronson has described to us what the changes in this planet are going to be, and so what I want also changes. If things are going to change that dramatically, then my future changes too. But for here and now, I want my life to reflect my completeness, not any neediness—needing to be in a relationship, need to have this, or that—but to come to be in a place of solid-ness, yet expansiveness, and to really pay attention and develop my wisdom. Because if I can live from this place, then my life will reflect that.
(Uncertainty and security—character and soul))
NEBADONIA: My son, let me finish that expression in your Urantia book of "sublime uncertainty--with security." The security is what you are reaching for and beginning to experience. The book talks further about the time-units of childhood, and adolescence, and then maturity, as the character of your personality—the true and lasting acquirement of a soul—is experienced by you as a change in the character of this present moment.
As you gain your priceless and irreplaceable human experience, as you gain a soul, and your soul itself becomes active in your life, building character, becoming a basis for wisdom, the character of your present moment begins to expand time-wise. More and more you can see in the present moment the antecedents that created it, and also gain some foresight into possible and then probable happenings, what the future holds. Your wisdom can advise you on how to make provision, how to maintain or even improve your physical health and wellbeing, your mental agility and comprehensiveness, your sense and experiencing of greater value in all you perceive.
If I hear you correctly, this is what you are discovering you want, this growth of character, this real stuff of life. This is not a false sense of security. This is the real thing that survives and grows, not only during this life, but in all your phases to come. This growth of soul is the purpose of life. But you are also beginning to feel the bottom-less-ness of questioning, of doubt, of wonder--like yelling into a cave and yet hearing no echo; like dropping a pebble into a well and hearing no reassuring splash.
Michael and I have addressed this in terms of making decisions, or finding out what you want. There comes a point when you simply have to step off and act in the present moment, only because it is time. Your time has arrived, and there is no avoiding: this decision/action will be you. But these times hold the glory of being truly yourself—recognizing it, and accepting it—having it. And this having slowly accumulates and becomes your character, becomes your soul. Your present moments do modulate; their character does change--in reflecting yours. So with respect to whatever may come, this is your truest security.
Student: It’s interesting, when you said to step off and act, there are also times when restraint is the best action, or non-action—not to act, when something is propelling one to act. That’s what I meant about wanting to be propelled from a place of completeness, not from emotional insecurity, or neediness, or some belief system that no longer serves my greater sense of self.
NEBADONIA: From our standpoint, self-restraint is a very positive action because it is so contra-distinct from timidity or fear. It is a conscious choice.
Student: That’s where self-honesty is really important. Like when I was searching for an ideal mate, I noticed the patterns that were coming up in my mind and how I was being motivated by obsession, and how unhealthy it felt. My actions didn’t feel congruent with spirit until I could say to myself I no longer desired to come from this place. If this desire is not coming from spirit, I will not follow. And this is important if I’m to regain my power, my completeness.
Secondly, in regard to my work, why not really enjoy what I do?—which I do: there could be doorways to more creativity. So why limit myself in how I see things—in what I do? I can value the people I work for. I feel a greater sense of peace since I’ve some to these understandings.
NEBADONIA: Yes, my son, this is the development of character. With respect to finding an ideal mate, the ideal shifts more to one of genuine personality, and spirit, and character; and how to recognize that. The same applies to your work. How can you discover bottomless wealth in what is at hand, especially if you are fortunate enough that this is a creative art, working with living materials as you are? This sustains you, and helps you grow.
Student: Because I am open to all of this in a positive way, then I am allowing greater experiences, instead of fighting them. I’m allowing more peace, and joy, and service. It’s great what Michael said last week, about the very next person you meet. That’s what’s most important. So, thank you.
NEBADONIA: You are very welcome, my son. You see now the congruity of challenge and reward, of adventure and fulfillment. You may even glimpse from time to time why our Father set it all up like this, and what a hell it would be if it were otherwise. Personally, I enjoy the adventure of these conversations for I do appreciate and thank you for your being personal, for bringing up what truly has meaning for you, often what you really don’t know--so your questions are quite genuine. And I congratulate you on the nerve you bring to trying what we suggest, though it may seem at times counter-intuitive. Yet even your intuition is not exactly infallible.
Student: There does seem to be a kind of settling-in of this wisdom. Like you say: a feeling of having a home base.
NEBADONIA: This is where good parents—as both you and we try to be—see the necessity for our children to experience all they can. The greatest tragedy would be to go through life and miss it all. This is where your Guardian Angel is such a dear, sweet creature to your human life, guarding you as she does, working with your Thought Adjuster to encourage you to actually welcome this sublime uncertainty. For that very thing gives meaning, my children, to the security you can know--right within its grasp.
So I bid you a fond farewell for a while. We will definitely meet again. Feel secure in my love. Good evening.