SLC Utah Teaching Mission Group Meeting #9
At Mark Greer's Home
Present: Sandy Porter (Dianna), Mark Greer (Simon), Mike Bandhauer (Anthony) and Warren Smith (Marshall)
Learning To Integrate With Our Divine Parents
December 02, 2004
Emulan: I am your friend and colleague, Emulan, here to greet you each and begin another chapter in our lesson plan. We have organized a very intensive program for you each, depending on the level of spiritual attainment that you so desire. You have each expressed your desire to become more fully integrated with our divine Parents, and so it shall be. We are pleased to provide this service and all that is required of you is merely to follow your desire to become closer to this loving parental relationship that is ever-changing in its depth and complexity, in its richness and character, volume and breadth. Each of you has expressed a desire to also become more familiar with the Father Fragment within you and this relationship will also be explored as we progress. I will take a moment now to begin our lesson this evening.
We would like to begin tonight's meeting with a prayer:
Heavenly Father, it is our desire to teach these eager students your ways of living life more fully in your embrace and loving more fully in your example. Teach them to be more flexible in learning your way and show them all that they need to know your light in ever-expanding ways to reach all of your many children who need you so badly. Teach them to live in the moment that they may experience you more fully and with greater depth. Be in them as a pilot, which leads each to a safe harbor in your loving embrace. Thank you for your presence here and may we do this mission plan justice by our action. Thank you.
We who are assembled here this evening will now take this opportunity to ask you about your experiences regarding the ultimate desire to begin this journey of learning and how it has impacted you emotionally and physically in addition to your spiritual upliftment. Does this question fit in with your desire to grow closer to our divine Parents, and if so, how could change that is emotional and physical be something that is remotely connected to your spiritual growth? I hope that this question is able to enlighten you in ways you have not before experienced. Let us take a moment to connect inwardly and reflect on this particular issue. Begin when you feel ready.
Simon: Well, it sounds like kind of a three-part question about emotions and how I feel them through this process, and probably it makes me stop to think what emotions I am feeling, and how I am dealing with it. I feel like I am doing better, but I am more fearless and I do not have to be so blind-sided to results. I feel a greater spiritual richness and more love, and more peace and connection. And sometimes I do not, and when I do not, I kind of get savage about it, but usually come back to good visualizations and feelings that you are nearby and just enjoy the richness of our different ways of being and interactions in life with each other. I learn from that, and I am grateful for all of you that have shown up. But then there is this last part of the question I am not sure I have grasped, but I am sure I will in time.
Emulan: Thank you. We will refine this question more as we continue onward. Thank you for your response.
Marshall: Hello, Emulan, Marshall here. In the last nine weeks since we have begun here, I have felt increasingly a fire in the belly that is so overwhelming, so exciting, so thrilling, I can taste the adventure. Truly, I am experiencing in these lessons and exercises, the release of barriers to our Parents' love, increasingly allowing the conceptualizing and intellectualizing to be transferred to the soul, or heart, which I am learning and vaguely getting glimpses of (how to do). I am feeling their love individually, the Master's and Mother's, especially feeling Mother's love after last week's lesson. It is exceptional. I can feel the waves running through my whole physical body. My desire to become a noble and effective server is certainly growing. My intentions to become united with my indwelling Father are truly fueling this fire, and I know that as I get to know our Parents better, they will only take me closer to know Father, and my supreme desire to serve will become! manifest in ways that I have no clue of at this time, but I have total confidence and faith that all is unfolding. My emotions, I find it much easier to allow them to release. I feel fears and experience old wounds coming to the surface that juggle these emotions and really hurt, but then as I am able to allow the Master and Mother to show me these truths, I can glean more meaning and value. I have experienced this increasingly recently and I feel freer, lighter, with greater faith. My sincerity is certainly growing, as I feel lighter. My intellectual abilities seem to be more clearly focused, (greater) clarity of mind. My spiritual insight is becoming more defined. Physically, even people that I have not seen in a while have told me, "Man, you look 8-10 years younger. I don't know what is going on with you." I feel different in all aspects of my existence, spiritually, and then the ripple-down effects are certainly going to adjust the intellectual, emotional and on down to! the physical. I am thrilled, I am honored and as I have often mention d Midwayer Motto, "What I undertake, I do"... with Deity, and darn it, I am one happy fellow who is beginning to feel the peace and the joy that I have never, ever experienced, and I understand how they say it is a peace beyond all understanding, even though I have just seen glimpses. That is pretty much it. I tend to talk on, but thanks for the wonderful question. I am sure I will ponder more on it and contemplate more fully, later.
Emulan: Thank you for your response. I have often seen the effects of your communion with Father and these are becoming a permanent fixture within you. Well done.
Marshall: Thank you, my friend. Emulan: Anthony?
Anthony: Well, my emotions have been centering around the timing of my feeling of self-preservation, if that verges on selfishness. In a sense I am still getting a lot of my guidance from my daily devotional books, and some of those indicate about growth coming through suffering. A lesson not too long ago from Abraham was about giving to the point of depleting yourself and past the point that I should be giving. With the timing of it, recently I have felt a little guilt about not being able to give more when it was needed and hoping that the self-preservation is warranted instead of selfish. I am not really sure what the question is, but the emotions I have been feeling in the last week are centering around that.
Emulan: Thank you. I would like to ask all of you another facet to this question that may aid you in more fully comprehending the first part. I am willing to step aside for a moment in order to allow another to speak.
Abraham: I am Abraham. Greetings. I sense that you may need a fresher subject in order to continue this line of questioning. I would phrase it this way. Tell me your experiences with your connection to our loving Father. When you are connected do you feel a physical sensation, an emotional one or purely a spiritual realization of oneness, or something other? Please detail these experiences for me, if you would like to share.
Simon: Well that is creative, Abraham. Thank you for jumping in there. I kind of see things as a 3D moving picture sometimes. Sometimes I just feel the flow of the dance of the day and life and people coming into view, or experiences almost just beautifully materializing, even numbers lining up or people coming in at the right time or at the time they do. It seems like the day is often evenly spaced and I guess it is what I make of it. When I take time for worship, joy, prayer, journaling and a little bit of study, then it just seems like the day is more complete and more full. The days that I do not, then I am okay with it, but then I like going back to that. Just having a variety, even doing things a little bit different every day and to be grateful for Father's love and kindness, and feeling Mother working directly and feeling her right there, is kind of an imagination, but it is opening my eyes to reality as it is, too. The physical plane is just that, it is just the phy! sical plane. With persistence and by working through things, eventually everything gets done. I do not know where exactly I am rambling with that, but it feels good.
Abraham: I would like to have you stay on this topic for a moment. When you are filled with the presence of your particular loving connection to spirit, how does this make you feel emotionally?
Simon: Confident, loved, enthusiastic, happy.
Abraham: Do you experience a deeper level of their unique qualities as your divine Parents? (telephone ringing) I will repeat my question of you. When you are filled with the spirit of your divine Parents, do you experience greater levels of experiencing their Oneness with you? Do you experience their unique relationship with you as their child? Is there a feeling you get, or is their presence merely a joyful state of mind?
Simon: I suppose more and more it is a presence, but knowing kind of what to do next can be either plan A or plan B, but in important decisions it seems sort of obvious what to do, or a least whatever that mixture with my personality is. I suppose more and more that it is just a confidence that Mommy and Daddy are home and I can go out and play now.
Abraham: So, let me understand this, you are experiencing their presence as an aid in decision-making or is there something more to it than that? How is it that you experience your relationship with them, my son?
Simon: I suppose it varies by the hour, by the day, to some degree, but overall... letâ?Ts see, how do I experience them? Well, I experience them when I focus my awareness more toward time with them, and when I can learn to mix that in everything else that I do, then that time seems to work better.
Abraham: Well done. This is what I was looking for. Thank you. Another response?
Marshall: This is Marshall. Could you rephrase just briefly? I think I have it, but that interruption with the phone kind of got me.
Abraham: Certainly. I have to make sure that each of you understands how it feels to connect with your divine Parents. Is this experienced in an emotional, physical or a spiritual union? Please let me hear how you experience this relationship, yes.
Marshall: It is all three, Abraham. No question about it. I can break that down with each one of them. Is that what you are requesting, my feelings and my experience?
Marshall: Okay. The Master is my best friend. He and Mother I walk with. My supreme desire besides fusing with Father here, is to walk with these regal Parents every day, Mother on my right, the Master on my left. The Master is my best friend, he is my teacher, he is my guide, he is the one that I discuss, throughout the day, the aspects of allowing myself to be taken into the temple, shall we say, as he shows me the treasures therein and how to utilize these. All the training, the teaching, the rehearsal and preparation I discuss more with the Master and I feel just a wonderful, wonderful feeling with him that radiates through my body. I know him better than I know Mother because of our luxury of having Part Four (of the Urantia Book), which I have been over tens of times. I am getting to know him better and better and he is just more than I can put into words, but I know him, and I am getting to know him more and more. He gives me a whole inner sense of just knowing that t! here are no boundaries as long as I am with him. Fear dissipates, any doubts dissipate, and as I turn control over to him there are no barriers as I realize I can co-create my total, whole reality beyond conventional expectations. Mother, on the other hand, I feel her differently. When I am having a difficult time, she will be the one that I will call on, always, to hold me in her arms. Having to do with showing me how to tap into these great gifts of potential that Father has planted within, these seeds of potential, she is the one I ask to more fully show me these gifts and to allow me new abilities to discover, recognize and interpret new morontia gifts that I know are coming. In allowing myself to more coordinate my mind, I ask Mother, and I feel her presence. Right now she is working with me on attempting to take the thoughts that come into my mind and only expand upon the highest, releasing the others, then taking it a step further, allowing myself not so much to conce! ptualize and analyze, but to transfer these thoughts to the heart cent ing stillness to increasingly to allow me access to the Cosmic Mind, and I think I am getting glimpses, I do not know, as I think it is more unconscious. Mother is just the soothing one, the one I feel that if I need babying along a little bit, she is going to be there. In essence, they are both there at the same time, too, I know it, but it is individual also. Through them I am getting to understand more and feel this great, thrilling relationship with my indwelling Father, my pilot and true mentor of mentors. I am learning more to become the faithful captain, the loyal, faithful tadpole, and just give all control over, just knowing that there are no limitations, none whatsoever, as I truly intend on reaching that terrestrial mortal attainment state. I have no reason to believe otherwise. I refuse to allow these binding limitations, these illusions, to be entertained anymore, all being impediments to higher soul development. I just know that this is the most exceptional jou! rney. I feel it in waves. When I am in stillness, I feel like I am floating, and the only thing I feel within my body, materially, is right in the middle, it is expanding, and as I breathe out, it is like waves shooting and butter melting all throughout, all the way to my extremities. I am finding that I can take this waving action and throw it out there beyond myself. I feel like I am being trained to manipulate, or transform energy, the energy of love. I do not know. I do know there is a lot left over and I want to open up myself more to it. I have no doubts that our Father's will, will be done. I can talk for hours, but this is a little of what I am feeling.
Abraham: Thank you. I understand that you have a great desire to become closer to your divine Parents in the manner with which we have been discussing. This is evident by the way you speak and conduct your self in the world today. Anthony, are you ready to begin this journey and tell us of your experiences as well? Please begin.
Anthony: Alright. There have been times I think I have felt a physical lightness but that is pretty rare. More often it is an emotional feeling, and I cannot say a spirit Oneness, but more of a feeling of sonship. I think mostly it is more intellectual in a sense that I talk to the Master when I am alone. At least I know that he is there. I wonder sometimes if there are going to be others besides the people that are already in our group that I will be able to share with and have the connection with on the same level that we all love the Master and the whole experience we are going through, but I don't usually expect this will be the case, so at least the Master is there to visit with.
Abraham: Thank you. This was wonderfully stated, yes. I will now reflect upon what I have heard from each of you. Depending on your statements, I may need to slightly rephrase, but this is necessary to create our instruction for you each. Anthony, I have heard you say that you experience your relationship in a myriad of ways... intellectual, spiritual, and sometimes physical. I know by what you have stated that you also tend to experience them emotionally by your choice to allow them to be present with you as you tackle problems throughout your day. I understand that you have developed quite a close relationship with our Master but need to develop more attachment to Mother, for she is the one who would best be able to assist you in times of trouble or disheartening emotions. I suggest to you that you may require a little more time throughout your day spent resting in the loving embrace of Mother Spirit and more firmly rest your head upon her shoulder to allow you rest and co! mfort in her arms. This is surely one of the most important things you can do now to aid yourself in becoming closer to both of your Parents. Do you understand?
Anthony: Yes. It is a wonderful experience to try.
Abraham: We will assist you as you begin this process. Put yourself in her loving embrace. Imagine even her arms about you, and relax. This is all that is necessary. Enjoy, my friend. I look forward to assisting you on this journey closer to her.
Simon, I understand that you tend to experience many facets of the interaction between yourself and your divine Parents. This builds a relationship on a multitude of levels. You can bring them closer by, again, spending more time in stillness with both of them present. You may ask yourself why you are being given this assignment, but I say to you that the more often that you spend in merely quieting yourself to focus your attention more exactly on their presence, the more you will indeed experience a growing sensation of connection through this momentary response. Resting with them makes for a stronger relationship. Moving with them makes for a growing need for them to be a part of your existence. Build the structure first then you will be able to build upon it. Do you understand?
Simon: Yes. That is very helpful. Thank you, Abraham.
Abraham: You are welcome.
And lastly... Marshall. I would suggest that you spend more time in also resting when you spend time in stillness. You have accomplished much, but there is always room to grow. When you enter the moment of time that you have devoted for this practice, first tell yourself that you would like to spend more time focused on what will serve the greater good, as opposed to your personal growth. This will accelerate in ways that you could not have imagined. Be not afraid that you will not learn what you need to learn at any given time. For this is the goal to serve, is it not? Focusing on your own growth tends to make one overly conscious of one's imperfections and tends to bring the stress to those traits that can be corrected instead of allowing Michael and Mother to prepare the way for their own corrections. Do you understand?
Marshall: You bet I do. I am sure the Master and Mother will lead me. It is very, very clear. I was almost there, and it clicked. Thank you, Abraham.
Abraham: Well done to each of you for allowing us to give you these instructions and aid you in your desire to come closer to the most extraordinary relationship that you will ever experience anytime, anywhere. Please allow me to close at this time for I believe we have made our point. If you have further questions, I and Emulan are able, ready and willing to assist you through the use of private sessions or your own stillness practice. Until next time, shalom.