[Dear Folks, Here is another transmission of Mother Spirit via the Marin TM Group. Imagine Her presence filling the room, and shared among us. Afterwards, the night feels renewed. We laugh and say things like - wow! Jerry]

Nebadonia – October 4, 2004

Dear Michael and Mother, Well, here we are again, your children, gathered about Your presence like little children around a warm fire on a cold night. Your presence toasts us through and through. And it is a joy just being together, waiting for You to continue this wonderful story that God has in store for all of us. And so we wait with eager, bright eyes, looking to You. And we thank You very much for what You give to us. Amen. Good evening, my children. This is Mother Nebadonia with you tonight. How I enjoy your bright, eager eyes looking to Me with love and devotion, hope and anticipation of the growth that is possible for you, that you are now beginning to feel. This hope in your hearts is real. It nourishes you as much as your body is nourished with good nutrition.

You can think of hope as a kind of pure, sweet energy that pervades all of space. It is a promise of our Father, a promise of growth to come, forever. This is God’s promise from His very nature and it is this nature that He shares with you, both in your creation - the way you were created, and then continuing as a support and encouragement for you to try that which you are not certain you can do. This is the sustaining power of hope, a power that gives you an ability to try, even an ability to absorb what may, at first, appear to be failure. This is a power to absorb failure with the courage to let it be a part of you, to encompass it and grow because of it.

The power of your imagination gives you a choice, and intrinsic in this choice is refusal. If you could not refuse to take in something that is happening to you, you would have no freedom. The choice would not be real. And so we encourage you to use the promise that was created as part of you, this hope that can spring from your soul, to encompass all you can.

The world is a large affair. It is best absorbed moment by moment as you encounter it. Direct your hope towards this notion of totality. This is the promise of our Father: that there need be no end to how much of this totality you can encompass and understand and enjoy, and come to love in wholehearted worship.

This is how hope sustains you. It whispers in your ear that there is more, and yet, at the same time, offers you a deep peacefulness with what you have. It is as if, as you become more Godlike and can experience the peace of completeness, so you can see that there can still be more. Call it a kind of divine economics, if you will. God is growing - the Supreme Being is growing. The universe is growing. And you are growing. At each moment, God - the Supreme Being, and the universe, and you are complete. And still you are growing. This is the nature of things and it is a joy to contemplate. This is the phenomenal creativity of God. It is not what you call a zero sum game, where for one to grow another must lose.

Every personal being is growing a soul. This is a true possession, and it is not only the assurance of what you have experienced, but the hope and promise for more. This becomes your fundamental faith and trust in our Father. And it can become your attitude - your willingness and ability to relate with others. This is the marvelous openness of which Michael and I have been speaking. It is welcoming the adventure.

You’ve seen a divine wisdom in a most precious gift that you are given: the opportunity to earn what you have, that makes your soul truly yours. This soul of yours, my children, is what you have to offer, then give, then share with each other. Here is joy without any bounds whatever.

When you consider what our Father has given you, you can realize there is no separation here. You cannot separate you from yourself. There is a single-knit oneness to all of God’s creation, and you can feel this right inside yourself. The marvel is, this too is alive and growing. In so far as you cannot stand apart from yourself, you cannot capture this essence of yourself like a material possession. In this sense you cannot hold it, because it is you. Your attempts to hold yourself - your self reflection, your sense of yourself - what you psychologically call your ego, will always be less than what you are. What you are is a creation of God. Your ego is only a temporary semi-conscious reflection. However useful - and it is useful, as much as your bathroom mirror is useful in the morning, so your ego is a useful tool, with more or less distortion - it is always less than the enormity of who and what you are. So don’t, as they say, pin your hopes on your reflection.

Continue to grow a deep and abiding faith in the reality you are by way of an ever growing faith in the Source of all of us. This is the completeness I speak of: you absolutely are! And still, and still, look what you are becoming! Carry this hope in your heart. It is God’s promise and it is – ultimately - God keeping your heart beating. Treasure this awhile, my sons. If you have any questions or comments this evening, your Mother is always delighted to hear them.

Student: Dear Mother, I thank you for the insight into how humor can be a leadership technique, a leadership tool. It’s certainly something given to us from Adam and Eve.

Mother: Yes, V, my son, humor can indeed be a tool in the sense that you can use it, you can do things with it. You can affect others with it. Where does it come from? How can you find it? It may be easier to find if you regard it, not so much as a tool to use, but as a toy to share. In this it pays to keep a child’s delight in your heart, for this is the essence of humor, this light-heartedness. You might even dare to be silly. Light-heartedness, unselfconsciousness, self-forgetfulness; these all suggest the way to finding this treasure called humor. For it is not so much a means to an end, as a tool is, but an end in itself. It’s simply fun. Would you agree?

Student: Ah, yes.

Mother: It’s as if the tool itself has an intrinsic value, in addition to its usefulness. And I sense that you are enough if a craftsman to enjoy the beauty of a good tool. It exists simply for itself. It can only be played with, never possessed. This is the very delight of humor. So let us thank Urantia’s Material Son and Daughter for their gift. Is there anything else, V, that you care to discuss this evening?

Student: Just to be thankful for this learning a little more about the consort of Michael, the joy of mind understanding, mind growth.

Mother: As the Mother is the consort of the Father, We send you Our love and Our peace.

Student: Mother, I notice that when I’m here, it’s easy to be in Your presence or Michael’s presence, or Welmek, or Whoever else shows up. But when I go home I seem to slip back into another…like into another persona, and it’s very difficult to get involved in spiritual things, like being in touch with my teacher. And on that subject, I noticed tonight a lot of my problem is, there is too much of me in the way. It’s very difficult to empty myself out of the picture so there’s room for the transmission. Do you have any advice or comments? (Note: there was a transmitting/receiving lesson earlier.)

Mother: C, my son, I would offer this insight: understanding paves the way forward. It is where to focus your attention, for it is how you move forward in your mind. It takes time and effort. And it may seem, at times, as if the progress is very slow, because of so very much to work on.

The lessons you were given several weeks ago about the nature of time, you saw very clearly - how your mind works to understand previous experiences and the emotions and evaluations and judgments associated with these experiences. This, I think, gave you a key to unlock a door, and now, as you open the door, everything comes rushing out. Keep in mind, my son, you’ve opened the door. Your desire to understand is growing stronger, and this will start to tie together the moments in your life so you will not feel there is such a great difference between who you are here and who you are alone.

It takes a lot of reflection to stay current in your life. This is why we recommend a certain amount of meditation every day, if you can, just to keep up with current events, let alone a whole life you have lived. So you may have a certain amount of backlogged reflections to catch up on. This understanding should help you be aware that this is not a waste of time. You owe it to yourself - to understand yourself. This is something you must, and you are capable of, earning. You are feeling the effort required. This is good. You’ve a genuine feeling of what is real. Persevere, my son. Keep wondering, Who is this person? - and marvel at all you have known and experienced in your life. I think the more you understand your life, paradoxically, the more you will be able to let go and make room for this other contact your soul now hungers for. Does this make sense to you, my son?

Student: Yes, it does, Mother. The door really is open. I appreciate You. Thank You. I also have a question about past experiences. I’m not quite sure. Am I to relive past experiences and remove the emotional charge on them? Is that what you’re suggesting?

Mother: Yes, exactly.

Student: Because I do notice certain events, past events, pop up every now and again. I never quite understood where they come from. But it’s making a lot more sense now. I don’t consciously call them forth…once in a while, different ones, not the same one. It makes a great deal more sense now.

Mother: The idea here is to make time for them. They are younger C’s who also want to continue to live, just as you right now want to continue to live. Consider it a great gift that these are popping up now to be relived. But to do this you have to get over a hurdle of nostalgia, because the reactions you’ve had to these experiences are more recent than the experiences themselves. This is why, when you feel a pure memory, cherish it, welcome it, relive it for as long as you can, for this is usually only, sadly, a fleeting moment. But relive as fully as you can other times of your life. This will give you so much insight as to who you were then, and who you had to be, then, to be who you are right now. This is your soul, my friend. Treasure it beyond anything. For it is a gift of your Father, and it is in your Father’s safekeeping. And be in My love.

Student: Thank you, Mother, I am.

Student: Yes, Mother, over the past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling what’s in myself like a second body beneath my skin ( faint ) and kind of flowing through my body, and that whenever I get touched, or embraced, it kind of lights up like electrical charges are flowing through me. And there are times where it’s intense. It’s hard for me to believe, it’s hard for me to do real heart-full (faint) work. I also feel any distortion or discord or deception really strongly within me. Like one jolt in my gut after another, and it’s hard to deal with. It seems like I’m giving labor. I feel myself changing, and I do honor this place. And there is also fear of what is to become of me ‘cause things are changing in my life, in the way I see things, perceive…(pause) Mother: D, my son, once again it does My mothers’ heart proud to see you growing, especially along the dimension of sensitivity. Sometimes processes which seem new to you - processes of change, of growth - are only new in your consciousness. But ask yourself, Is this not what I am seeking? – to be more and more conscious of all the aspects of myself which I am experiencing from time to time? There is also a certain fear of your very complexity. You wonder: can I contain all of this? Doesn’t something have to give?

But you are finding the way. You take a deep breath, you heave a heavy sigh, and go on – maybe, someday, to the discovery that you are not keeping you together. As I mentioned earlier, you are not keeping your own heart beating, my son. And this only leads you to wonder, with an ever greater faith, Who is? But now you are in the thick of it, and you may not yet know. This is real. These are true perceptions, and I salute your courage in not denying them. And as I mentioned earlier, it’s a choice.

Your society informs you of a lot of ways, especially many chemical ways, but others too, of blanking things out. But keep growing along this dimension of sensitivity. At times you may feel your physical body to be so full of such squirming independent life that you can’t stand it. But this too is real. There are all of these millions of cells that are real and living, each going about its separate business, and yet united and giving you yourself. I repeat: you are a very complex being. So welcome all these strange happenings. They are just you. Does this seem to describe the situation, my son?

Student: Interesting. There are times where I do feel this intense… immensity of this fullness. It’s hard to contain. It’s like what do I do with this, when can I deal with this? But then there are times, like at this moment, I feel really constricted, really uncomfortable thinking of certain situations that need to change.

Mother: Can you see that this sensitivity, that I am encouraging you to experience, can lead to a greater creativity in how you handle the situations you are confronted with? – first, how to delicately separate all the strands of the situation, to understand the complexity inherent in it; then how best to create a solution, a way of dealing with it that pays respect to all these various elements of it? You see how this demands that you grow, and this is what you feel, at times, as a kind of bursting. Well, a flower has to burst in order to bloom. A moth has to burst out of the cocoon. These are living processes and so are you. An understanding - to the degree that you can hold it, and enjoy it, and turn it over and over in your mind, and be pleased that you have it - to this very degree it is fixed. And it in turn, in time, must burst to make room for the next larger understanding.

There is a slight human attempt, if you will, to stop time, to stand out of the river of our Father’s will, this river we talked about which is all of life. There is even an illusion that you are outside this river of life, and you actually have something like a material possession, or even a biological possession - that your body is somehow fixed and not changing. But this is an illusion. When this illusion breaks apart, you’re suddenly thrust right into the middle of life itself. It can be a shock until your understanding turns around and helps you realize you are just becoming conscious of something which was always there. It’s like that stretch we talked about.

There is pain, in the physical sense, in stretching a sore muscle. In the mental realm this can be fear. Your mind is letting you know that you are getting near a limit where you’ve never been before. And these are real. But like managing that sore muscle, or feeling this bursting you talked about, Look - you are surviving! You are growing, and you are learning Who is really keeping it all together. This is called humility, my son. You are perceiving something enormous. The trust in yourself, you have to slowly earn.

Student: Part of the situation, my concern or what I’m feeling, is my concern over (name) and her two boys. She is gradually having the life sucked out of her by her two sons. They manipulate and resist and even mock her in her attempts to try to create something good in their lives; to get them to school, to get them up, to get them to do home work, to stay out of trouble. And she doesn’t know what to do. I’m seeing the same pattern over and over again since I’ve known them. I’m in a quandary as to what to do. I’m so close to the situation it’s hard for me to be separate and objective. I try so hard not to come from that emotional place of anger and frustration. It takes away from my peace, my joy, and my perspective. I try so hard to create something for these boys and nothing changes. In fact it’s gotten worse. It takes away from her life and our relationship. I don’t know why should I care, these are not my kids. I’ve raised my kids. But as you know, it doesn’t last long in my thought stream. Even talking to You about it, the energy has moved into my heart.

Mother: Yes, D, My mothers’ heart beats in symphony with yours. There are situations, human situations, in which there is no easy solution, and it requires all the effort of the parents, for in a way the children truly do feed on the parents. You very literally continue to give them life, and then, out of love, wean them away for their own good. They in turn must separate themselves from you to have their own lives. So perhaps a large part of what you are feeling are these two seemingly counter trends.

You’re aware of how much these children are drawing their life from you and their mother. And how much, bit by bit, starting with very small steps, they have to be weaned away to find their own selves. This is a delicate, living balance both sides must be attentive to. There are some parents who refuse to let their children go, and there are some children who never want to leave. Yet for each person to become an individual this is necessary. It’s a deep pattern of life itself. Perhaps it would help to analyze or understand the situation from this aspect, the sustaining and yet separating - both. Does this help you understand the situation?

Student: Somewhat; its all the more complex, thinking back. I can see there needs to be a letting go or a weaning. Both my kids are gone. It gets back to seeing the same pattern in two and a half years, and it’s hard to see any end. It’s escalating. No sense in coming to that point. That tension point where the bud opens up, in a sense, can be a crisis point of intense energy. I feel like a nut waiting to be cracked open. Their lives cannot go on like this. It’s unhealthy for all of them.

Mother: I was mainly addressing that aspect where you seem to perceive a kind of unhealthy relationship where the children are taking too much from their mother. And I was asking you if your understanding could enable you to help them? - then start, maybe in small steps, but constant steps, the separation?

Student: Yes, with them I see that clearly, thank you.

Mother: You are welcome, My son, and be in My love. I commend your growing sensitivity, especially when it really affects your heart. But I would remind you, this is truly love. So I thank you, too.

Student: Can you send some energy or thought their way? Through me or…

Mother: Michael and I both have a very direct connection with all Our children. And as We have mentioned so many times before, you have an ability to influence Our gift to another. It’s your prayers for each other that enable Us to help even more. This is a miraculous spiritual power you have to help each other that in no way diminishes another’s freedom. So We thank you for your prayers and assistance. This too is a gift of our Father: that you children can help the Creator Son and Daughter tend to their other children.

Thank you, My sons. Keep growing! And be in My love.