April 18, 2002
This is your friend and teacher Welmek. I am pleased to be here this evening and am glad we have an intimate gathering this evening. So perhaps your questions may be a little more of a personal nature if you are so willing.
Tonight I have selected the subject of companionship as the topic. We spoke of the nature of forgetfulness; do you recall? And now I wish to engage in the next level of self-forgetfulness, which leads you into deeper levels of companionship with your brothers and sisters. For it is in this relationship that you grow with your brethren, that you are deepening the connection above of friendship with them that fills your life with a sense of purpose and connectivity that is so important to the growing personality development. You know full well that you are social creatures, do you not? And as social creatures you must be in relationship with other people to fulfill these needs. However, of the relationships that you are in; how many could you truly say are deeply satisfying and immensely rewarding from the standpoint that you can share you innermost self with these individuals and feel that they can share their selves with you in an environment of unconditional respect, affection and to an extent, understanding? I would like you to pause for a moment and think about this. Would you say that the majority of your relationships fall into this category?
Student: Welmek, for me, I enjoy, I mean truly enjoy this, for me is my real wealth. This above all I am proud of and happy about, is the people I have known. My sister since I was born. Tim and Shirley since I was in college forty-some years. Two ladies for almost thirty years, a recent friend, a dancing partner for two and a half to three years. Some other male friends over twenty years. And I can say in most of these cases that it is still, this friendship is still growing. And then, also happy to have about fifty-some people I relate to in terms of, you might say business and things. So I feel my life is wonderfully full that way.
Welmek: Yes, it is indeed one of life's joys to have a circle of people around you who know you and love you. But I am now speaking of the most intimate and loving of relationships, that deep companionship that is of a nature that goes beyond just the friendship; it is as if you are soul-buddies, to use one of your words. Would you say that you have relationships of that nature?
Student: Very much so! I must show my sister, absolutely. My friends, Tim and Shirley, these transcend time and space. We are together. Two ladies; one I was married to for awhile and just in the last three or four years has made so much, such enormous spiritual, soul growth, just in deciding to live, coming out of drug addiction and absolute, absolute devastation; physical and mental and spiritual devastation. And being a friend to this person and giving this person someone to relate to so she wouldn't be institutionalized or dead and seeing her grow and being absolutely thrilled, leaving her in spite of the wreck she is, to see this courage to come awake and continue to live. Another lady I was with for ten years; we are still absolutely together, even though there was an enormous kind of rejection because we didn't get back together as lovers and that but stayed really true friends. Welmek, I don't know any boundaries on these relationships.
Welmek: And what do you say that, in these relationships, you find it easy to be in that state of self-forgetfulness and just sharing who you are, the beauty of your personality, the joy of being together and the pleasure that you have in discovering who these people are?
Student: Welmek, you know, to me the signature of these friendships is that it's a mystery. I don't why. I really don't know why I am happy just to see them or to hear from them, but I am, it's a spontaneous thing and it's something inexplicable and just, just so joyful for that very reason.
Welmek: There is a deep level of exploration that comes in knowing another person. It is as if you are discovering aspects of the Father Himself. And I say to you that there is joy, there is adventure, there is exhilaration and immense freedom as you learn who another person is in your life and how you can continue to unfold in your personality sharing together that leads you to new associations and deeper communal expressions of the Fathers' love within your bonded and unified relationship.
Student: Welmek, I thank you for this insight because I do not naturally think of this as; I think I mentioned this to you before, and it just is what I was talking to with D a little bit ago. I don't naturally think of this as coming from a personality, in other words, the Father's nature. And I enjoy that perspective, I like the feel of it. It's just to me still a bit beyond my comprehension that this comes as a source; to me it's something surrounding me, it's part of me, so I don't see it as other. And in that I'm probably not entirely mistaken but to see it as a source, outside of myself, is a new perspective.
Welmek: It is a source outside of you and it is a source inside of you. It is both. And it is difficult at your level to extricate that which is external and that which is internal. And I would even say that it is not even necessary to know that which is outside and that which is within. The important concept of conveyance in this discourse this evening is to help you understand that the nature of companionships is important to your spiritual development and also to help you understand a deeper level of why these companionship relationships are important than you have perhaps considered before. This is why I often ask you to share with me so that I can lead you to an insight that will add another dimension in your own internal environment. The idea of growing these friendships and adding to the companionship quotient in your life is so important because in the actual bond that you share with another person, you find a level of love and peace and togetherness and this is all a part and parcel of who the Father is and how the universe is glued together with these relationships and how nothing can exist without these relationships. And what you are doing my friend is, you are adding a level of enjoyment and experience into the evolving Supreme Being, that is God experiencing life through you. Do you understand?
Student: Very much, Welmek! This is where I agree that it's not important to make a certain distinction of other and self, because in one way there is a profound oneness, a union as the absolute reality; we in our little beginning stage here, even participate in. One of the most wonderful things that stuck with me and found resonance in my living mind of the words in the Urantia Book is when it pointed out most physical things, even things like, living things, like food and shelter, in a way they are a means to an end, but our relationships, our companionships with other persons are an end in themselves. In that sense they are outside of time, they do not exist so that we can get something in the future; they are now. I was really thrilled with that insight from the text.
Welmek: They are part and parcel of the Father. They are the expression of the Father in each of you as you move and grow and experience your relationship. They are eternal; they are existential, and you my friend have the exquisite joy of sharing in this most wonderful and blessed of all experiences; to have companionship with another individual that will lead you to deeper levels of understanding the Father. There is so much beauty and grandeur in these relationships. The more you amass your friendships at this deeper spiritual level, the more joy and love you will experience and the more you will forget about what it is that you need and what it is that you expect in life and find that your true joy comes just in being with good friends and sharing the love of the Father that is growing and bonding you together.
Student: Thank you Welmek for being another dear friend.
Welmek: I echo that sentiment to you my brother.
Student: Yes, Welmek, this is D. This is a difficult one for me in the sense of; I really don't have any true friends that I could call my soul buddies. Although I am experiencing the opening or the promising of a companionship with a woman at this time and we do talk to each other about our spiritual life and what's going on in our lives. And there is love between us, and so that is promising and has potential to be quite rewarding and rich. I do have people such as D. and E., who I confide in about what's going on in my life, the innermost parts of my life.
But maybe it's part of my personality or makeup that I've never really had a true friend during my childhood we traveled around a lot, so we moved every two years, so I was never really established any deep long-lasting friendships. And I've always envied people who stayed in one place and had a best friend for life. So I've always been kind of a solitary person and I don't feel lonely, although there are times where I do feel alone for romantic purposes. But my children are my friends as well. I don't necessarily confide every single thing to them, as they don't with me, but I consider them my soul mates as well; and there is a lot of love between us, obviously.
But one of my regrets is like with my mother, I could never confide in her my deepest innermost secrets. And there's always that barrier between us, that I can't be totally myself. So I'm kind of like the opposite of J., that I don't have that whole network of friendship, of soul mates, but I'm more of a solitary person.
Welmek: Would you say that in the relationships that you have do you find that your soul is at rest when you are with these individuals?
Student: I would say yes. Like I am creating a community with the church that I'm participating in and my soul's at rest with D. and E. and this woman that I am seeing, and her children. But I am experiencing great unrest with the person that's living with me, and it's causing me great discomfort.
Welmek: There are two elements I would like to address here. One is the idea of being a companion to someone and this level of relationship usually is one of reciprocity where neither individual feels that it is necessary to offer advice or guidance or support. It is a level of enjoyment and I would even call it service of just sharing who you are and letting the other person express himself or herself to you and allowing the union of your souls to blend together and fill you with peace and satisfaction. There is a delightful self-forgetfulness that occurs in this relationship for do you not find that the time passes quickly, and that you feel uplifted, and that it is an enjoyable experience that when you leave the encounter you feel good and it was something that you look forward to experiencing again and again. (Student: Yes)
This is one level that I am suggesting. If you do experience this then, this level of companionship that I am suggesting is what is so satisfying in human experience. There are those relationships that are more, I would say, service oriented where you are forgetting yourself and putting the needs of another person in front of yours. This is best epitomized in the parent-child relationship and you know full well what that entails from your relationship with your children. But in this relationship of the person that is now living with you, I would ask you to consider what kind of relationship do you think this will be for you, one of a companionship nature, or one of a service nature - of parent-child. Do you have any confusion in your mind about this, or are you perhaps being torn in two different directions in your own mind?
Student: I know I'm being torn. I know I'm feeling, I don't feel joy, I've even felt betrayed by some of his actions or words he has said.
Welmek: Is it because you are looking for a certain level of understanding from him in yourself? (Student: Possibly?) And if this is so, then I suggest that you take a closer look at this individual and ask for insight into this person's motivations and behavior, for it could be that you are mixing to a certain extent what it is that this relationship is about. He is a very emotionally young, is he not? (Student: Yes, very much so.) And so in that youthfulness you can see that there is more of the child in him, and as a person who is more emotionally stable and mature this would lend itself to the parent-child relationship inasmuch as you do not expect that child to understand you, but you provide guidance and assistance to that person so they can learn a better way, they can learn some of the boundaries that are necessary in interpersonal relationships that will give them a better sense of self-discipline and respect for others.
Student: What happens if he's not open to doing that?
Welmek: But it is not a matter of you portraying this in an overt fashion. It is a subtle and I would say, inspired approach on your part by going to Michael and saying, "Michael, this person is now in my home, and it is to some extent my responsibility to care for this individual. Teach me the ways of being a good parent-friend to this person that will not make him feel threatened or insignificant but will teach him those skills that he now needs to live life more independently and successfully on his own." And perhaps in time, when he grows and develops more, you will have forged a deeper level of relationship that affords you this level of companionship/reciprocity that we were discussing. Does this help?
Student: Yes, very much so. You know how painful this has been for me and how vulnerable I am at this time because of past experiences of the past five months; which I thank you very much for helping me through. You know what happened and everything. But the other night; he is in the city right now and supposedly he had some hard problem and so I called him up late that night, around midnight, and I just said I loved him very, very much and I said to him, " I know at times I might be hard on you but it is only because I want you to become self-reliant and grow as a human being, in spirit". And then I said a prayer to him. He seemed to be thankful for that. Because I felt all this anguish and pain and discomfort and then I said to myself, as I was talking to my lady friend, I said: "Oh! How would Jesus see this person? How would God see this person?" So I looked through Jesus' eyes and it all changed. And I felt love. And after I got off the phone with this man, I just started to cry, for no reason. Well there was a reason, but I just started crying. So I'm trying.
Welmek: And you are trying very admirably, and you must recognize that it is not your responsibility to change this person. Although this person is in your home and you are trying to offer guidance; you must also remember that this person is distrustful and has his own unique way of looking at things that will not match yours at many times. As a boarder in your home, you have every right to expect him to consider your standards, but you must also remember that he is coming from a certain place of, I will say, a lack of discipline, and he does not at this time understand or honor your ways to the extent that he will come to understand in the future. You must be patient and consistent and most of all, non-judgmental and he will respond to that. Does this help?
Student: Yes, very much so. My only, my only concern is like; and we'll move on from this, is that when he does something or doesn't do something how it affects me, like not showing up for work, or not doing the job properly so it creates more labor. And then I'm stuck having to do more work and other things as well.
Welmek: Then you must decide in your own mind if he is a suitable employee for you, and if not, then to find someone who is and to tell him what his options are. These are your choices. You must set your standards for your business; and as a smart businessman knows, unproductive employees only detract from the professional image that you are trying to present to your clients.
Student: I understand. Thank you very much.
Welmek: Do you have any comments on the nature of companionship this evening?
Student: I don't think so. I guess it's just my soul's yearning to find that significant other soul mate to share common vision and spirit with.
Welmek: I would encourage you to extend this idea of spiritual buddy to a larger community and to find those individuals with whom you can share the beauty and integrity of yourself with. There is no need to hold back who you are my friend. You are a beautiful person and have many gifts to share. It is the romantic ideal to have this one individual that you can share yourself with and I am not discounting that, but I am also encouraging you to be more forthcoming with who you are with other people now in your sphere. Let them see the beauty. Let them see what you have to give. Let them come to know you and in that knowing of who you are they will love you and return love to you. You must make the first step and let them see you. There is nothing to hide; you have much beauty and love to give. Let them see that and they will respond accordingly. (Student: Thank you.)
That is the joy of being in companionship with people. As you exude your love, your beauty, your personality that comes from the Father - everything in you that is good, and true, and real - how can other people not fail to love you and want to know you more? And so you can never have too many friends, and you will find that your relationships grow and deepen. The more you give of yourself, the more you will find these deeper levels of companionship. And this is why self-forgetfulness is so important to this growing level of companionship, because the more you show who you are, the more you forget about your worries and your cares. And are not these all encumbrances of the ego-self? Are there any other comments before we move onto other general questions?
Student: Welmek, I don't know if you're in one -way allowed to make a definitive statement; that's one of my hearts yearnings to meet again another four or five people that are just so dear and so precious to me that I've lost track of; and I mean soul-mates in the sense that we deeply affected each others lives. The very meaning and value of life changed because they were in it, that they showed me a whole realm, a whole dimension of being, just because they were there. And yet in our very mobile society, I've lost track of them. There's a deep inference in the textbook that these individuals, we will meet them again if we so desire to. I would like your comments on what I believe is an inference I gathered from the text that, if we choose to meet these people somehow or other there's like a great directory on the Mansion Worlds where you can look em up.
Welmek: That which you shared with them was a blending of personality and a unification of a dimension of the Father. It is a real bond. It is a living entity. And even though the human mind and the physical body have been separated by time, in eternity this distance does not exist, for that union of soul continues, it grows. There is a nourishment that continues even though you are not in the conscious realm, one with the other. And so you have this bond that will never really be broken. And so you easily reconnect with them anytime here and now or at some future point in your eternal career. It will be easier once you become morontiaized, for you will not have such distances of physicality and I would say the word here I would use is mental distance. For the mind is truly the realm of the deeper levels of communication that occur at the spiritual level, and when you are in your new morontia body these distances will evaporate. Does this help?
Student: Just a consummation, devoutly, to be wished. Yes! Yes! It occurred to me, Welmek, as your were talking, this is another direction for prayer. Some of these dear, sweet people that I've known and lost track of; just to wish them the best (tape is turned over)
Welmek: (Probable words of Welmek: When you send your greetings) to them and your well wishes and your desires for them. Know that they will be delivered to the appropriate individuals, and who knows what the outcome will be? But you never have to lose contact, as you say; it is only a matter of using your mind to transmit those messages that you wish for them to receive. Use this circuitry more to your advantage and let them know that they are in your heart and in your thoughts and they will be very overjoyed and grateful for that, I am sure.
Student: Thank you! Thank you, that to me, this is our real wealth. This is our true possession, these infinite other beings we relate to and enjoy.
Welmek: The universe is rich in companionship; and as you grow and feel this family of brothers and sisters about you now, you will find the blessings within your soul fill you to such exquisite depths and breaths and heights that the only true expression of your heart will be one of worshipful gratitude to the Father for making this all possible and real in your life. Do you have any other questions before we conclude this evening?
Student: Yes Welmek, this is D. Would it be wise for me to share my experience of what I experienced over the past five months regarding my spiritual growth and the court case, with the church, in the near future? Because I've had some very trying experiences but also some very uplifting and faith-evolving experiences. Would it be OK and uplifting for other people to hear my story, because it was mind and spirit altering for me and faith-evolving?
Welmek: I would ask you what would be your intention in disclosing this event to the members of the church? I would spend some time in stillness and discussing with Michael and Mother what it is that you would like to share and what your intention is, and asking for their guidance.
My personal opinion is not so important only to say that faith stories are inspiring and they serve to help other people see the way in which the Father and Michael and Mother work in human life. And so it is a valuable experience, but I would also add this cautionary note in the disclosing, if it is in anyway to unburden yourself, I would spend some time in stillness and asking Michael and Mother to counsel you on this. Does this help?
Student: Yes, because I was thinking about that, my intent, what is my intention for wanting to disclose.
Welmek: Once you are clear in your intention, I think there will be little question in your mind then as to which direction you should take.
Student: Well, I understand that. I don't feel so much a desire to disclose it, as much as I used to.
Welmek: And then I would say that is a good indicator.
Student: And one last thing, Welmek. I've just been feeling a lot of like physical discomfort over the past three weeks and especially in my right side of my body. And it's like it feels like my nervous system and I don't know if I should go and see a doctor because I'm really resistant to doing that.
Welmek: I am not at liberty to advise you as to whether or not to seek medical help. I would admonish you to ask yourself these questions: Am I getting enough rest and properly de-stressing my body? Am I working too long or keeping my body too stiff and so that the muscles become sore at the end of the day? And am I properly nourishing my body to have the nutrients it needs to sustain my physical labors? These are the questions I suggest you pose to yourself.
Student: OK, I know I need a lot of rest right now. Thank you for your time.
Welmek: It is my pleasure to help you.
Student: And, I just want to thank you for, like I said, helping me through, with your guidance the past five, six months. It felt good to know that I am being taken care of and watched.
Welmek: Well, my friend you did have a lot of help, I cannot take much credit for this, because there were many who were watching over you and assisting you in this life circumstance. But I understand what you mean and I am most grateful to have been able to assist you in this capacity. (Student: Thank you.)
My dear friends, I look forward to the day when we stand face to face and can greet each other as brothers in the family of Michael and Mother. You are near and dear to me and I cherish these times of coming together in sharing and instruction. And I so enjoy the faith-adventure that I see you on. And you do inspire me because you know not what I know nor see what I see, yet you have such a tremendous courage of heart and this touches me greatly and for that I am most humbly appreciative of our companionship as we grow in love, in beauty and service of the Father.