Jungle Group, Costa Rica
Topic: First To Forgive
June 23, 2000
TR: This lesson came in short sections over a period of very busy days. It is a collaboration of Legion, Alana and Devina. I was interrupted several times by matters that required that I stop transmitting, but each time I returned the conversation picked up where we left off. The question was presented to me by a group member as we were parting. It was the first time a group member asked for a personal message. (I still have not transmitted by voice before the group.) The tml now has all transmissions from the onset of my transmitting, this one came through last week. I am so grateful to these teachers. I appreciate the various thank you notes of gratitude and encouragement that several of you have posted. S
Q: Why do I always have to be the first to forgive, the first to reach out with love?
"Would she come first before Jesus? Would she be last in the line of love? Last to be forgiven for her resentments and indignation? Tell your friend that she is forgiven All. Tell your friends that love does not require you to pretend, unless that is in line with god¹s will and your own recognition a "little white lie" is the most loving or healing gesture to make in the situation. The fissures that arise between people due to personality "clashes" and individual faults are bridged only by love."
Subject: First to Forgive
"Jesus was the first to walk across the bridge of troubled waters with love always in his heart. Always. And always he practiced the stillness, the talk with his Father, the conversation within. And that is your task, to keep love always in your heart, as your first focus, your discipline. Love will shape your forgiveness. Let love write the prescription. Do not think you must forgive in any one prescribed way. To be the first to forgive is to be first with yourself, and so as you practice forgiveness it becomes a more joyful task. There is so much joy that comes with forgiveness because there is so much joy in love."
"Let us start again with Being First to Forgive is Being First with Your Self. Your innermost self, if your goal is to learn the ways of love, is aligned with your "highest" self, us, god the Father and Mother. Reaching out to forgive, however you do it, is a gesture that comes from within and only from within, from the same source and center of love. Anything else is either obedience or the practice of "as if" in order to learn. There is nothing wrong with the practice of "as if." Imitation is one of the ways to learn. And often it is by repeated imitation that one is lead to discover the "real thing," the truth that it is better to give than to receive, it is better to forgive than to not forgive, it is more joyful to love than not to love."
"Dear friends, do not criticize your inability to immediately forgive, or even your inability to forgive over a longer period of time. The essential thing is to focus on learning how to love which will lead you to how to forgive. Have patience with yourselves. Forgiveness is a complicated matter which has its effect on the person doing the forgiving as well as the person being forgiven. Like the pebble thrown into the pond, the ripples spread outward. Also, like the act of throwing the pebble in the pond, briefly, the stillness is broken up into waves and you do not see the same surface. To set your intention is to raise your arm for throwing. To feel the potential reality of throwing the stone, is disorienting sometimes, raises your fears: Will I be the fool to forgive such an unacceptable recipient of my love? Stated that way, is not the answer simple? Not one of you is an unacceptable recipient of our love. You, my dear one, and your inquiring friend, are thoroughly acceptable recipients of my love. When you can not forgive, can not make the gesture or take the leap into that potential, stand back and enjoy the stillness again. It is from there you will be able to move forward, raise your hand once again, and each time you will come closer to throwing the pebble into the pond to allow the ripples and waves of forgiveness to spread outward to all the edges of that space you call pond, or life on planet Urantia. It is the intention that you must polish. If you can not make the gesture, you can contemplate the intention to make that gesture. Each time you contemplate your intention to forgive, while sitting within your stillness, you will see further, see more deeply into the ways of love, and learn new pathways for expressing love."
"You are able to forgive because you have already been forgiven by the Father, Michael, Nebadonia, me and my others. That is the importance of the stillness practice. Take your concerns about forgiveness and the act of forgiving into your stillness, where we can speak to you, guide you, shower you with love and forgiveness enough to eventually build your courage to do it one more time; that is, one more time be the first to forgive. No one is keeping score. It is a practice to be the first to forgive, but it is equally a practice to learn how to receive forgiveness, accept forgiveness, take in the love that comes with being forgiven. Both sides of the coin matter. The swinging door of love does not discriminate between first and last, it is open to all. You, however, may enjoy coming into love sooner rather than later, yes?"
"Do not allow the small conflicts to outweigh your goal. Your forgiveness can mend a conflict, but it can not mend "as if." Your forgiveness must be true, for then the full power of love weighs in on the situation. You are impatient with yourself. You are impatient with him. You find it difficult to be so misunderstood. Remember this, forgiveness begins with the intention to forgive. When your forgiveness is complete, has reached its goal of love filling your heart, the joy of love radiating within your mind, then you will notice that all your troubles with this person have evaporated. Your impatience with yourself implies that your forgiveness alone matters. And it does, of course, matter, but so also does his forgiveness, so also must his forgiveness, his intention to forgive, reach fruition. Forgive in your heart. Once that has been accomplished then you will know what to do, and you may not need to do anything more than forgive in your heart. The gestures of forgiveness, the outward manifestations, help smooth the way among you, create happy interactions, but always it is the inner condition that must be true and clear. Without forgiveness in the heart, your gestures will only look good, while the cake will taste bitter. Yes, if your partner or friend wishes to make a gesture of warmth and loving reconciliation, that is good, but do not feel inferior because you can not in good faith do the same. Recall, Jesus was "never in a hurry." It is not the speed with which you forgive others, but your sincerity that will change your world. Rest in the calm waters of our love and let this wash away your doubts. Your heart would love. Your concern with forgiveness attests to this, can you not trust that your intention is true? There are so many components to the act of forgiveness: your true state of being and acceptance, the other¹s true state of being and acceptance, and the true state of being and acceptance of those who interact with you and him. I remind you of the pebble thrown into the pond. Lift the weight of your grief, the burden of misunderstanding, and let it go. Allow the ripples to reach the shores, as they will, naturally."
"You grieve your lack of forgiveness because you do not forgive yourself for suffering. Are you to be above the human response to pain, insult or indignity? Allow your emotions to give you the sensitive information about the state of your relationships. Your happy emotions speak of love. Your pained emotions warn you. If you only pay attention to the happy emotions, if you do not listen to the correction of pain, you will only go further into the depths of confusion. Has it not occurred to you that your forgiveness may not be recognized no matter what you do? Take care of your own heart, that is your major concern. That is our major concern, that you learn to love yourself in order that your love can shine before the world. Do not treat your forgiveness like a dog on a leash, pulling and tugging, limiting your range of movement. If the forgiveness in your heart is true, you will be calm wherever you go, unrestricted, welcome. We hold you in the heart of love. We forgive your frustration, your agony of apprehension. Have faith in this, your growth is on time and we are pleased."
"You are beginning to understand what we say. Forgive your self. Forgiveness of your self comes first. From that self-forgiveness will flow forgiveness outward toward others. It is no different with love. You must allow your heart to fill up with love, some call this self love, some call this the love of god; love flows outward, from deep within, up and out toward others. Forgiveness comes with love, both deep within, up and out toward others. In this sense, when it comes to love and forgiveness, put your self first. Allow this love and forgiveness to come through you. Do not ask your self to pretend. If your gestures are based on your inner intention to love and to forgive, those gestures will serve. If your gestures are based only on your belief that you must, you should behave a certain way, then those gestures will ring hollow in your mind, and in the minds of others. Take to yourself first the task of love."