Daniel - Understand Self Knowledge and Self Concepts - Nov 22, 1992 - Pocatello, ID
Group: Pocatello, Idaho
Topics: Understanding self-knowledge and self-concept
Opening Prayer: "Prayer of St. Francis
Daniel: "Good evening, my friends. It is I, Daniel, your friend and teacher. This evening it is my sincere wish that all of you will continue to make the steady progress that you have been, in that you are making very broad gains and are connecting the aspect of your spirituality in relationship to your human life. As you continue to work at coming to the Father and as you continue to make the intellectual knowledge of His being personalize in your own self, you will blossom in your spiritual realm. And it is through blossoming in this realm that you will make life on your earthly plane much easier, more understandable, and much more livable. True, there are many adversities, many situations in which injustice and definite answers are not always understood. If you are grounded spiritually, those things which are vague and not comprehensible to you will be lessened in your own personal anxiety, tension, etc. My lesson this evening will again deal with the understanding of one's self-knowledge.
Self-knowledge can be translated also into your self concept. Who you think you are plays a direct relationship in your understanding and in your bonding with the Father, the First Source and Center. And so, as you take the time to sit with the Father you are not only coming into further understanding of Him, but there is a direct parallel to your understanding of yourself as well. This is very important for it is through one's own knowledge of self and one's own knowledge of one's actions that one is able to either stay with the status quo, change or regress. Those who find it difficult to be with themselves will either backslide or will remain at one level. And so one must in the course of your daily life continue to know yourself. For it is the direct relationship of yourself that is manifested in the outer. When you are feeling confident and sure of yourself, you also project this in the way you live your life. You gain the confidence through silence with the Father.
Many aspects of one's self concept can be seen as being overly prideful, or the opposite, one of self dislike. Or one can be in the balance where one can know themselves, like themselves and take pride in their accomplishments.
Let us look at self dislike. One learns this from the cradle. It is so important, my dear students, to always give to the developing and forming personality/character of the child the concept of worthiness and love. When the child is sure of its worthiness, his life, her life will follow a path that will always bring forth progress and not self disintegration and regression. Those who learn self love and worth at a young age do not have to go through the undoing of those whom they respected as a young child. The avenue for seeking to undo that which was done as a child when it is in the negative realm is to be with the Father in that silence and communion with Him. Often the self concept of dislike of self is manifested in failure. As one fails in one regard, they continue to feel they will fail in all others because of their lack of self worth.
My friends, failure is an attribute which can be utilized for good or bad. Failure is inevitable for ascending beings. And so whenever one does not meet certain expectations, if you can and if you surely and sincerely try to utilize that instance of failure for good, rather than as a more victimizing aspect, then you will build character and continue to grow. And the failures become those things which give you experience upon which to take your next step. So when you come to those times when you feel your life is but a failure you must, again, go back to the aspect of your self concept. How, my friends, can you feel you have been a failure when you can see the progress you have made? Utilize the times when you have not made the mark as a stepping stone, rather than the pebble that pulls you to the bottom of the pond. Failures can be like skipping stones as they touch the surface across the pond, rising each time they enter the water to come up to air again. Failure will be a part of your life, but when you daily sit with the Father, those things which you realize to be only human weaknesses can be seen with more clarity, much more understanding. And through this knowledge you can utilize these down struggles to bring forth character building. Always keep in proper perspective who you are, that you can learn to love yourself as the Father loves you.
Another aspect of the self concept is self pride. Self pride becomes dangerous when one feels they are above others, above the law, are capable of going through life without any help from the Father. Self pride is such love for oneself that the Father is excluded and there becomes great division and disharmony within the individual, for the spiritual aspect is very malnourished and continues to dwindle. Pride in accomplishments justly deserved and earned is natural and is very acceptable. Pride in thinking you are not needing God's help, guidance, and love is destructive. My friends, many, many are there who are now growing up on this plane whose self concept is measured on both extremes of self dislike and self pride. As seed sowers and caretakers of your brothers and sisters, you will be great teachers in helping those on these two extremes of the continuum to come back to a more harmonious balance where the individual realizes that they are not just a material being, but also a spiritual being; that when the two are nurtured and fed there will be no more self pride but a real balance and harmony there. When one can understand that the Father loves them despite what they have been taught or feel about themselves, then with the knowledge of the Father's love there can be the development of self love and, again, balance and harmony will be restored.
Your self concept is ever important for you in your spiritual progress on this earth. There is and will be always much for you to accomplish in your pathway to the Father. And with each experience that you come upon, if you hold within your perception the vision of the Father, then the whole concept of life holds much purpose, meaning, and there will be an overall growth and satisfaction with your life despite the adversities and the trials. Those things which occur to you and unfold in life will have more meaning, will provide you with more satisfaction because you are not only beginning to understand your nature, but also the nature of the First Source and Center.
As you continue over your life ahead of you, always recall that when you are in alignment with the Father, in communication with Him, the trials, the unfoldings of life will be much more easily met, much more easily worked out. And even while you are limited in your vision, your faith will carry you through those times. This planet is one of ascending beings. Because you are of this nature there is the natural evolutionary progress that must be worked through. And as time marches on things do work themselves through to completion, to betterment, growth, and progress. And as you as individuals understand your relationship with the Father, the evolutionary process is hastened. And so my words to you are to always keep your perspective in this regard, to always seek the balance and the harmony, to enjoy your humanness, to enjoy your spiritualness, to feed both so that both can grow, that potentials can be met. Work this week to rediscover that which you are, a child of the First Source and Center. Understand and know His love through the Indwelling Spirit. Know His love and guidance through the workings and the teachings of Christ Michael. And know that your angels are around you. I will now accept questions."
B1: "Good evening, Daniel."
Daniel: "Hello, B1."
B1: "Thank you for a very well thought out and balanced presentation. I have thought a lot about the things that you discussed tonight but I have never had it put into such a nice package conceptually. I'm wondering..as I was listening to you I was thinking about the fact that many of us, several of us in this room work with people who have the self dislike. And I have a pretty good feel for how to go about dealing with that issue. But I was puzzled as I was listening to you, thinking about what can be done for somebody who has the opposite problem, who feels that they know everything and they don't need you and they don't want your advice and etc. Is there a concern that we should have for these people, because I don't know how to help them!"
Daniel: "This is a very deep question, indeed. It is much easier to work with those who have self dislike and feel unworthy, for they are already beaten down and are on the way down. And they look to higher, loftier things. They wish to be elevated and can be more open to your words, your love, your help. Those who are full of self pride and over gloating about themselves are indeed hard to approach. Often with these people it is necessary for the outworking of life, the circumstances and the consequences of actions, to help them realize the vulnerability which all have. When people who are self prideful or boastful because of their nature or character find themselves in situations with the likely probability of meeting with consequences that they must face directly, they often can come to an about face and the reality of their true nature is made clear to them. So the best way for you to deal with these individuals is through your prayer that they might see, and through your example, that perhaps in a weak moment they can also glimpse the true reality from which they emanate. Indeed, even Christ Michael noted that some were not ready, some could not be approached because of their present situation. Prayer and understanding for these individuals is my words to you."
B1: "Thank you very much. For those people who have low self worth feelings we can, of course, help, because they are eager to have some love. And these others, prayer as you say, and they have to learn from the hard lessons of life. Correct?"
B1: "Thank you very much."
C2: "Daniel, with regards to arrogance, is not the root cause the same but the behavior is different and that has become a defense mechanism? They don't feel worthy so they have built themselves up enough to move out of that pain and away from any kind of relationship which reminds them that they are vulnerable?"
Daniel: "Yes, definitely. All self dislike and self pride stems from fear. And fear poisons the outlook. It depends on one's characteristics, one's way of protecting themselves, shielding themselves, and one's makeup that they choose the path they choose. And yes, those who are arrogant, boastful and prideful also suffer from lack of self love. But until the shell can be broken where they feel and realize that they need help from the First Source and Center, they are very difficult indeed to approach and help. And the consequences of life often bring them into reality.
And through reality and their understanding of their given natures they, too, can begin to love themselves and come back to the more balanced aspect of life. Yes, indeed, your assessment is correct."
C2: "And is it possible that in terms of humility that even though those individuals who are arrogant and compare themselves and see themselves as above others, is not part of the healing of that boastfulness, that estrangement from others and that comparison, isn't that a part of understand of being in touch with God, so that one can really understand the humbleness and humility in terms of the good sense of humility, not humiliating, but humility. So that compared with God..I often say to people who don't have a great deal of self esteem, that God thinks you are OK and what is your opinion next to God's? And I say that to the same people who are feeling a little 'mightier than thou' that, you know, God is still greater. And though you may feel greater than other people, God..(they will usually go the bit with God), into a comparison of themselves with God and the great love of God is a humbling kind of experience. As they can align themselves with God they can move into the healing process?"
Daniel: "Often this is effective for some people; for others, of course, it is not understood. And as you continue, you all on your path will receive guidance as to those whom you can help in this manner. Those who are very hardened, indeed, do not see, do not hear, and do not understand your words. Those who have been somewhat changed by life experiences are more open and more readily willing to change, indeed."
C2: "Thank you, Daniel."
V1: "This subject, of course, is something that has been terribly important to me and I can't remember, I believe it was Ham who said that the greatest self esteem builder was to know that God loved you. I work with children all the time who I am trying to convince that they are wonderful. I have tried to in a very vague way say that this universe, that everything is here for them. And yet I feel very limited because I really believe in separation of church and state. I'm wondering if you have something that you could tell me to do that would give them the insight of the First Source and Center without me betraying their family's religion, or whatever."
Daniel: "Indeed, a very difficult question which calls for one to be most tactful, most understanding of that which you say in separating church from state. It is very hard, often, to get the message across. When you work with young children you can ask them to make comparisons about that which they know to be right or wrong. And if you can help them to see that when they know something is right, they know it and feel it from their innermost being. And it is because of their innermost being that they can come into an understanding of their self worth; that their inner guide will give them the knowledge or the feeling necessary to understand that they are loved. If you have a group of children and one child is being ostracized, picked on, and you call it to the children's attention that because of what is happening this child is not feeling very happy. Ask the children, if they were in the same situation, would they be happy? And, of course, they will say no. Ask them then, how do you think you should behave, then, when you deal with one another? And because of children's inner knowledge, inner goodness they will say, 'we should not hurt one another, we should not make one feel badly'. And at this point if you can help them to find out why they know this, what makes them feel that, often times they will say..it's because I feel it in here or I just know it. And that point you can always use that, then, as an example that you also know then that you are loved by something greater than yourself because you feel it in here. Children are marvelous at understanding these things, for they are still very close to the source, especially children at this young age that you teach, who are becoming indwelt with the Spirit, will be able to identify with a greater thing than themselves. And you continue to tell them that they are loved, that they have self worth, that they can achieve, that they can do, that they are capable, then you help reinforce on a human material level that which is already in their inner cre. Does this help."
V1: "Very much, Daniel. Thank you. It is a matter of appealing to their inner self. And it really is clear. Thank you very much."
Daniel: "You are most welcome."
B3: "Hi, Daniel. This is B3. I want to pursue B1's question but I want to apply it to parenting. As you were probably with us earlier several of us who are still doing our parenting thing expressed a lot of frustration over the feeling that we need to be perfect, we need to have all the answers. I also work with a parent now and then who feels exactly the opposite. They don't have anything to give their children. They don't have any answers. You people in the school, you take care of them because I can't. That kind of thing. What would you have to say to us or those parents who are coming from both of those points of view..to the parent who has given up, who doesn't have any ideas for his children, and those who are still alive and kicking, but feel so frustrated because they don't, they feel they need to have all the answers and they know they don't have all the answers. Who of us does have all the answers? Do you see where I am at?"
Daniel: "Question understood. In both of these extremes again there can be a root basis. And the root basis is one of honesty, for both parents that think they know all the answers and must be perfect are not being honest with themselves, and the ones who say they have given up and are not able to do anything are also deceiving themselves. On the one hand, they who think they must be perfect are living a fantasy that, because they are a parent, they must have all the answers or else their children will not respect them or love them. To these parents one must ask if their parents had all the answers. And they will, of course, know that their parents did not. Perhaps they acted like it, but did not. And so to get these parents to realize that they are deceiving not only themselves but their children, will be a great help. To tell a child that you do not know all the answers, that you are not perfect, that you are but a human, that you are learning and growing and experiencing daily as they are, will bring these children into more respect for their parents rather than knowing that their parents are deceiving them in trying to be perfect and have all the answers. In raising children, when the child is of a certain age where it can help make decisions, then if parents could allow the child to be part of the decision making, then there will not need to be this false front of being perfect, for it will be rather a collective growing basis and cooperation together.
For the other parent who has given up, who says they have no answers, their problems lie in their own lack of confidence, in their own lack of accepting responsibility for the children they have conceived and are raising. These people are giving over and expecting others to do their job. And these are very difficult people to approach and to deal with for they often times are the ones who, when conferences are set up, will not come. Or when classes are provided for parenting, are the ones who will not show up or come to the class to learn. To these people you are often caught in a real dilemma for they have been so lackadaisical in their approach to child rearing for such a long time, that for them to change and to assert their responsibility would be most difficult, for not only themselves, but the child as well. However, one must never give up on life and on people you deal with. You may not be able to change and bring about dramatic improvement, however, you can approach these people and somehow give them the courage to begin to accept the responsibility that they have. Then you can begin to bring about some help, some change.
Part of what has happened in this society is the fact that many, many people have decreed that their responsibility as parents is not important. They have no idea of the ramifications and the breadth of responsibility that it takes when one becomes a parent. It is important to reach children that are in high school age and younger, perhaps even junior high, to begin to realize that in raising children there is accountability and responsibility; that there is the framework that a parent must assume to educate the child in human matters as well as spiritual, and that the parent is responsible for the actions of their children. If you could reach the children before they begin having children themselves, if they can be educated to these aspects of what is important in being a parent, then there can be change made. Often those that are now raising children cannot be helped. It is important now to educate and bring those children who will be fathering and mothering children in the future to an understanding of what it means to be a parent. Parenting does not mean you have the child, love it for a few years and turn it loose. Parenting means that you help instill into that child those values, those things that are part of your life. When people can understand that loving a child is not giving them a new toy every week, a new dress, a new shirt; when parents can understand that loving a child is not a pat on the back or quick kiss as they go out the door; when parents understand that loving a child means giving to that child the foundation they need to grow as independent children, then they can become serving and loving individuals as well. Children must be taught at a young age those things which are important in the lives of the parents. And as children grow then those values that are held as a family need to be further elaborated on as the child matures into those values.
One cannot expect the schools, the churches, or any other organization to do the job of raising children. The family unit is the basic unit, the basic block of society. And it must be given strength and nourishment. A family cannot grow in values and self respect and respect for one another and true love for one another when there is not time given to it. A relationship between a man and a wife in a marriage is only as good as the time and the quality of time given. And so it is with the family as well.
As these young adolescents are coming of age, you who have the responsibility for them or the responsibility of bringing about education must help instill those qualities that will help preserve the spirit and integrity and firm foundation of human life. Those of you who are able to, have input into educational programs that will help foster child rearing practices based on the understanding that a child must grow into his potential. And this growth is based on love freely given, love that gives to the child an environment in which they can feel secure, in which they can learn and grow and become. There is much work that needs to be done in these areas. And so, while I cannot give you a definite answer, for there is no one particular answer that will answer all, there is, though, a very real need for proper education of those who will be the future parents on this plane, so that they can do a fitting job in raising their children, so that potentials can be reached. On this plane, sadly, many of the capabilities and potentials that you could achieve in this lifetime must be thwarted and wait until morontia life. This planet, if it is to move into Light and Life, must come into a consensus of giving to the children of today those foundations necessary for them to progress. The understanding of who they are, their self concept, must be very well nurtured in those formative years. When a child knows he is loved, when a child knows she is capable of self worth, then does the child walk down the path of life in the knowledge that they can do, can become, and are capable of much. And with this knowledge are they ever more open to spiritual growth. You know, my friends, when you are full of confidence yourself, how much more open you are. If you can give to the children this confidence from the very beginning then their inner being will be open and ready for the calling. They will know the First Source and Center much more readily, much more easily. Do you see? Has this helped in any way?"
B3: "I think we are all stunned. That was a marvelous explanation of where we are at and I think we all say...let's go home and get on with it! And I want to thank you personally for the message you gave earlier. It was very meaningful to me. Thanks."
Daniel: "You are most welcome. And now, D3 is tiring considerably. And I will take my leave. To those of you who must travel and venture out in this night I send my love with you, that you be in full awareness as you drive your vehicles to your home. My love and peace to you all this evening. Good night."
Group: "Good night, Daniel."