Group: Nashville, Tennessee
April 6, 1997
Ham: Greetings, friends, I am Ham and our love and respect are flowing out to you tonight. We are happy that you have come to hear these lessons. Welcome. Tonight our lesson is going to entail some communication between you. I would like to ask a question of you each, and get your responses one at a time beginning with Rebecca. The question is, when do you feel most vulnerable in your life in your attitude toward others specifically or just in general?
Q: Its when I don't feel accepted or if I want to be accepted and I am not. When you are putting something out that could get rejected. We have gone through this before, and I am trying to think of something more. That's all I can think of.
Ham: Rebecca, also you feel vulnerable thinking about past conduct that was less than admirable especially you'd feel vulnerable to false accusations because you feel that there is truth in them even if there isn't. Go ahead Jarad.
Q: I was thinking in groups and any where that I don't feel in control of the situation.
Ham: Yes Jarad, you often feel the need to put someone down to rest control in group situations.
Q: When I am in a situation where I am facing criticism. There are parts of myself that feel I vulnerable about and tend to hide. These tend to be the emotional aspects rather than the intellectual aspects of myself.
Ham: Yes, and so you sometimes react inappropriately with the intellect rather than the emotions and this reinforces that feeling of vulnerability.
Q: Acceptance of all natures, I feel insufficient about my ability to perform in a lot of different ways, not only artistically, and in my communications I feel vulnerable. I also have that problem of false accusations and believing there is some truth in them.
Ham: Yes, you are ready to believe anything anyone says about you personally or your work even. You are afraid that you inner self will not measure up to the outer expectations.
Q: Like the others, I am vulnerable to any situaiton where I could feel ashamed, especially vulnerable when I submit my creative work for criticism. I feel vulnerable around certain women I am attracted to physically.
Ham: Yes, you all fear rejection, Jarad tends to avoid rejection by controlling situations, Rebecca tends to avoid rejection by withholding emotionally. Brodan tends to avoid rejection by steering it away. Vontis you tend to pull your head back in like a tortoise keeping safe within a protection so people do not tend to reject you, and of course personal relations tend to bring these fears out more than business relations or even creative relations. You are all here very creative people and that always make you more vulnerable to being rejected in the world. Creativity involves some daring, involves risk taking, and when your creativity is really exposed and you are subject to critiques and even attacks on you personally, I feel it is best for you in that situation to not read negative reviews. You can easily get drawn into defending yourself and that just saps your time and creative energy. You are all coming into times in your lives where you will be vulnerable to rejection and criticism and so my advice to you all is to ignore the negative. Now, I want to go forward with the lesson.
The Father Spirit who dwells within each person really holds all power in your lives. You must think first that you are working for Him, that your work, whatever you are doing, you are doing it for the Father first. If you keep your work on that level, between you and He, then its effect in the world should bother you less. Your actions, what you do in the world, even how you treat each other, are part of your work for Him. Remember that your work is for the greater glory of him, it is not for you. So then, everything that you do, pray that it will be acceptable to the Father and forget about the other worldly repercussions. This is the path that Jesus took, and this is the path shown for you to take also. It is very important for all of you to keep centered in this one- pointed thinking. This way your motives, your desires, your human vulnerability does not get mixed up in your work and cause you to stumble. This does not mean you won't feel joy in your triumphs and pain in your defeats, but that these things will be balanced in the overall goal of serving the Father.
Also, don't let obstacles defeat you. Life is full of obstacles, they are there for a purpose, to make you stronger. They may be there to delay something that is not ready to happen.
The Father ultimately has control of all aspects of your life. Now I am saying this for you who are relatively spiritually advanced, I don't mean this to be a blanket statement. All you can do at this time is to work daily and trust daily. Put all your trust in Him to guide you, to give you courage when you need it, strength when you need it, compassion when you need it. Have faith, let the Father's Being give you wisdom. Let him pull you back from places you shouldn't go and walk calmly through doors he has opened. I know it is hard not to allow your human selves to be resentful when doors close in your face, but if you have total trust then you will understand that that was not the way and that it is best that that door is closed.
The mansion world life, though not boring in any way, is sometimes not quite as exciting as this life in the flesh that you are living. This life requires that you trust implicitly in the Father's good will in the face of all evidence to the contrary. And you trust that in the end, his plan for you is greater than any of your small schemes in life.
Be therefore happy and contented with your lives as they are. Don't be disappointed when things are not clear. Trust, trust, trust! If you do this, you will, guaranteed, have an interesting life. Are there any questions at this time?
Q: I have for the last two or three years, I have practiced constantly awareness of the Master rather than the Father fragment because of things that have been said to me by you all. Would you comment on that, would you let me know what you think of that? I know that they are one, but . ...
Ham: Yes Jarad, it is time for you to incorporate the Father's presence into your life's awareness more actively.
Q: Up until now it has been the Father's will that I have done what I have done?
Q: I have been getting that the last week or two, what you just said, that is was time to do that.
Q: I would like to ask, you said that we shouldn't let obstacles defeat us, but you also indicated that we should accept closed doors. I would like you to help me understand the difference. How can I know when it is time to move past an obstacle or to accept a defeat?
Ham: That is certainly the crux of the problem and only you can answer this. The Father will answer your prayers for guidance and will show you the way forward. Usually, if a door closes or a way is unprofitable another door will open or a way will be made plane that is more profitable which will in itself will lead you away or around an obstacle. Normally, the Father does not speak directly and say "Don't do this, Do this". Usually his way is to kind of push you and prod you and move you into new directions. So don't feel that you will come to a certain spiritual place and then know ahead of time consequences to your actions. You will not.
Q: Ham, does that relate to trust?
Ham: Yes it does, exactly. It requires faith exercise and that is nothing more or less than building a relationship with the Father.
Q: Work is seen in our culture as for ourselves not for the Father. Since we have been raised in this environment, I suspect we have many attitudes we must work to change to get to see our work in the one pointed way. This will not be an easy transition or transformation for us.
Ham: Yes, humans tend to fear religious commitment for exactly this reason, because true commitment entails dedicating your life and your work to the Father regardless of the consequences. So, automatically there is a pulling back from the risk that this involves. But, the person who really strives for the Father's greater glory in all sincerity and regardless of consequences is always glorified in turn.
Q: It is one of those times that what is in the lesson is what I have been getting inside during the week and it seems like the main point that has been coming to me is that the effort is ours and the results belong to the Supreme and that has given me a lot of comfort and the results are not our business.
Ham: Yes, this encapsulates our lesson very well. But, I also wish to stress motive in your efforts.
Q: Ham I would like for you to speak to a phrase you have used several times, regardless of consequences. Can doing the Father's will sometimes result in people being hurt emotionally?
Ham: Yes, yes, yes. Of course. Q: But if people are to be hurt, should we take that at least as a precaution, should we examine our motives very deeply?
Ham: Yes. The Father's will for you may sometimes run contrary to other's will for you and this is where disappointments occur. The Master could not change his life's path in order not to hurt his family. So, it is for each human to think through deeply their commitments and you must always in the final analysis put your commitment to the Father before your commitment to other people and certainly this can result in misunderstandings, misjudging your motives, and even you own doubting of your motives. But, always the Father will lead you safely through these difficult transitions and also you must trust the Father to lead the other people or person through their own path, their own transitions. You can't be God to someone else, even your own children.
Q: I have one last question, is it time for me to have a private session and to receive my spiritual name?
Ham: For the human understand of word forms, Kelly is a close approximation in English of your spiritual name.
Ham: Close enough for now?
Q: Can I ask if it is important for me to know that, it does not feel important to me right now?
Ham: Yes, it is, yes it is important because there is a newness that is associated with stepping forward towards Michael, stepping into his service. That the name signifies.
Q: A few years ago, I spoke with you and I thought you addressed me as something closer to Tomlin, was there some confusion there. I don't wan this to be a problem as an important step in my acceptance of this. I did not want to try to trick you or anything, but I would like you to get you to reconcile this.
Ham: It is very difficult for Rebecca to be accurate with names.
Q: I like Kelly better than Tomlin, [laughter].
Ham: So, it is hard to always be entirely accurate if or when you are received in the mansion worlds and your names as they have come through Rebecca are not totally accurate I hope you will forgive her. For now, let's accept your being called by me as Kelly.
Q: I think he asked for a private session.
Ham: I am not able to grant this this coming week, but the next week I wlll be available. So you can set it up now or next Sunday if you wish.
Q: I would prefer to wait until next Sunday, thank you.
Q: Ham I would like to ask my usual question.
Ham: Jarad, you are learning new things about yourself every day. You are understanding your weaknesses and appreciating your strengths. The changes you have experienced in the past two years have been great and sometimes you don't accept all these changes and try to revert to a previous stage of development. So, I say to you that you need to accept your own growth and learn ways of expressing yourself with this growth.
Q: Would you clarify or enlarge on "learn ways of expressing yourself with this growth". I am not sure I comprehend that.
Ham: Your self-expression isn't always keeping pace with your spiritual growth such that you sometimes are tempted to express anger when you don't feel anger.
Q: Out of habit?
Ham: Yes. Is this helping?
Q: Yes, thank you Ham.
Q: you have anything to say to Rebecca?Ham: Yes, daughter you are also afraid to be fully self-expressive of your newness, spiritually, and likewise revert to old patterns and behavior. You need to show openness to new ways of handling situations and life in general. For example, you tend toward anxiety when there is no need for anxiety.
Q: Do you have anything for Esmirelda?
Ham: Yes, daughter, you are working toward a new freedom that is only attainable by thorough self- knowledge. Don't be discouraged over minor setbacks. Continue forward and don't feel guilt or regret.
Q: Do you have any feedback for me tonight?
Ham: All is going well. I am glad to see you taking some time to just goof around, even though it is not much time. I expect your health overall to keep improving. You are coming to a kind of acceptance of things that you didn't have before. Whereas before you wanted to change things all the time, now you are feeling more comfortable with yourself and not so driven to change other things. The future looks bright, don't be discouraged about your book at this time. There will be a road there.
Q: Ham I would appreciate anything you have for me tonight.
Ham: Vontis, your life is beginning to smooth out. The big bumps aren't quite so bad any more. Your relations with your family continue to improve and this is very helpful to your overall happiness.
Q: I would appreciate any advice you have for me.
Ham: Kelly, I expect you have some difficult times still ahead even though you have been through some difficult times already. But, overall your life is going well and this period of adjustment will in the end prove wise and your overall happiness will begin to improve. It is o.k. son, you have done what you could in the circumstances. Life never deals you a perfect hand and so you just have to accept the way things are, and make the best of it which is difficult. The easy way is to pretend everything is perfect, but it is not the truth. Is this helping?
Q: Yes, thank you.
Ham: Very well then, if there are no further questions, I will let you go for this evening and farewell until next Sunday.