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Nebadonia - Time & Gods Will - Completeness - Apr 11, 2011 - Marin TM Jerry Lane
Marin TM Group—Mill Valley, California—U.S.A.

  • (Time, and God’s Will)
  • (Completeness)
  • (Realizing Completeness)
  • (More Mysteries)
  • (Life’s Hiccups)
  • (Trying/doing and Feedback)
  • (Be Your Own Authority)
  • (Journaling)
  • (Essence and the Non-essential)  
  • (Whispered Promises of Eternity)

Dear Mother Spirit and Michael, We have quite a crowd tonight so we all welcome you.  We welcome you to be with us here and to help each one of us tune into your presence. We thank you for your last series of lessons providing a balance between all we can learn about our world now with our modern media--all that’s become available to us, balanced with an ever deeper sense of our own selves, our own individuality, our own spiritual home base deep inside where we meet and keep company with the two of you and our Father. We thank you for these lessons that keep bringing us back to what we personally need to do day-to-day, sometimes even hour-to-hour, to choose, to make our decisions and take responsibility for what we do next. So thank you, dear parents. Amen.

NEBADONIA: Good evening, my children, this is Nebadonia, your Mother Spirit.  Michael and I are happy to see so many warm and friendly faces, such open hearts and open minds coming all your different ways to get here tonight. Together we share in this happy time, this time of rejoicing, rejoicing that we are, rejoicing in these lives we have, that God has given us, rejoicing that we have each other. We can share in this wonderful curiosity, this great blessing of wonder, this unfathomable mystery of each other and, even deep within ourselves, this mystery of who we are and what we are. This only unfolds moment-by-moment, day-by-day at God’s pace, for indeed all the dimensions of time that you know and that you will come to know on into eternity as your souls grow greater and greater; all these dimensions of time--things happening in your life and in the lives of all those around you: all of this is a function of God’s will.

(Time, and God’s will)

We remind you once again there is no need for any of this.  There is no need even for a future for, from our standpoint and from our Father’s standpoint, you and the entire universe are complete already. There is no need for it to, as you would say, go anywhere, for it moves and has its being in God’s will.  So it’s nice and warm and comforting to realize once again that, from a human standpoint, you are not even keeping your own heart beating.  Life itself is a precious gift, a total outpouring of a spiritual generosity from our Father himself.  And so as you seek to be more like him, the best way to do this is to have a feeling of your own creativity, the fact that you too, like him, are co-creating all that you know of life, even all that you know of these others, these other personal beings around you.

You are a creative being. God shares this quality with you.  And you are a responsible being. You have this ability to respond to what is, in a sense, coming at you and will keep coming at you for all eternity. You have this creativity and out of this creativity, out of your personality itself, then out of your soul experience, you too can express a kind of generosity, an outpouring of generosity of spirit the same way as our Father does by letting others be. By letting others be themselves and actually glorying in this civility of yours, you can enjoy them for who they are, each one a unique personality, each one a creation of God.

This is your true wealth, my children, all these people that you have known. Just think of how your soul is filled not only with your precious things--your homes, your tools, those material things you are most intimate with, perhaps you have worked with for years and years be it a hammer or pots and pans--but with all of the people you have known. Each one is, as we say, a little walking infinity. Each one is a mystery to himself or herself, and a mystery to you.  This again is how you can be most like our Father in this kind of generosity, this freely giving of yourself, this sharing of yourself, for without God’s generosity the Creation Itself would not be. This is the very essence of divinity, this sharing, this wishing, right within your own creativity, to acknowledge other people’s independence from you. It’s the wonder when you can let people be as they are without having to manipulate them, without having them just to assuage your own needs.


To the very degree you can be sufficient and complete in yourself, you can manifest this generosity. It’s really being playful toward life, towards others. This is how people can enjoy a delightful dance with each other’s souls and spirits: some real spontaneity should arise.  Here, my children, even while you are so bound up in a physical/mental kind of time with these bodies of yours; even while you are in this kind of physically human kind of time, you can still have a little taste of eternity. For we say that God has his potential for eternity in the infinity of spontaneity. So just think what trust this requires, what faith in yourself, what trust in your own creativity just to enter into situations in which you cannot see the end. Just think what courage it takes to let go and enter the dance, allowing this spontaneity to arise seemingly all by itself between you and another. But what a reward then to just: step off. This is that freedom that you all yearn for and recognize. This is the delight you know with others. Think of how you yourself delight in a friend’s activity with something new to share, something growing every wider, ever deeper. Think of the understanding you have with others. So much of your life you have shared with others is now in your soul.

So this faith is my main message tonight, my dear ones. I’m pointing at it directly so as to assuage any fears you have, or that might have been built up in you as you do find others somewhat impenetrable--for you are sometimes taken by surprise and startled by someone’s behavior. We spoke last time of the defensiveness that just automatically arises; but be strong in yourself, trust in your own ability to respond; let go when you feel yourself, as you say, getting uptight; walk down a busy city sidewalk with true equanimity, true balance, meeting each set of eyes with a positive, cheerful attitude that you yourself so love to meet.

This quality of poise and faith and trust in yourself starts with the relationship you have right here inside. We call it your spiritual home base. It’s where all this generosity of spirit and creativity springs from. If you want to put your finger right on this living source coming right out of you like a fountain of life, it’s good to start out by just observing it in what we call stillness.  It’s just sitting still and feeling yourself breathing, paying respect to this marvelous body you have, taking time out of your busy activities to just be alive. For so many this seems the epitome of frustration. They’re so caught up in doing something it appears this stillness is only a condensed doing nothing, the worst possible thing that could happen. But that is only because they don’t really know it. They have not really tried. They have no grasp of this inner soul wealth, this spiritual home base, so they fearfully fly away from their own imagining what it must be.

Of course it isn’t. It is the genuine basis of every religion, every study of spirit that mankind has known. It’s being still of your own self-generated activity in order to be conscious of all that is purely given to you. Being a human being is this marvelous body and mind, so being still even for ten minutes in the morning is a way of paying respect for the living vehicle that is supporting this conscious you. Just feeling yourself breathing, sitting up kind-of extra alert and opening yourself to whatever may come; this is how you open yourself to that deeper wisdom in your higher mind that may be longing for the opportunity to tell you something. You have within you the great spiritual presences of God himself, Michael, and me. Give us a chance to speak to you, not from what you already know of yourself--your ego if you will, but what your higher mind wants to suggest. Perhaps it’s how to be a little healthier, a little stronger, and a little more responsive. This is how you can start.  And it’s a wonderful way to start the day, this stillness meditation just paying respect and honoring your life before, as you say, you start to live. We would suggest you keep a little notepad handy for all the wonderful ideas that can come to you in this stillness.

As Michael said one time: let anything suggest to you what is a better way of living, completely irrespective of whether you can do it or not!—for it takes real courage to entertain what is the best thing to do. You can decide later whether to do it or not, but then it will be a conscious decision and part of your memory, part of your soul. This is how you get free, my dear ones. This is how you move into a life of conscious choosing. You open yourself to those alternatives. You let the presence of God within you speak to you.

And so we come full circle back to how to get a feeling of yourself and your own creativity, a feeling of what you are doing in your life instead of only what is being done to you or all around you. Out of this faith and trust in yourself is where you find the generosity to be here for someone you love.  This is where you find the you to give away.

Give it a try.  Try this being highly consciously still, feeling your body breathing, feeling your heart beating; thankful that you are not even keeping your own heart beating--your Father is.  Now if you have any questions or comments this evening on these or anything else, please feel free to ask or to comment.

Student 1:  You made a comment about earth being complete, and we don’t have to go anywhere. I just need a little elaboration on that, exactly what the meaning of that is.  That was in the first sentence or two.

(Realizing completeness)

NEBADONIA: Yes, my daughter. We draw a subtle distinction between perfection and completeness because so many people, so many folks do feel they are not complete, there is something missing, and this is part of being a living being, part of the life that carries them forward either deliberately or just willy-nilly. Some folks feel that only by finding a mate will they be complete, or only by doing a certain activity, completing a project, they need to do a certain kind of work, or certain conditions are going to be necessary for them to be happy. They might feel hollow inside; something is missing.

So this feeling is real--as all feelings are. They often come from an over-identification with just your body and your mind, so I addressed that this evening as a way of finding a spiritual home base inside you that is more than just physical or mental. It’s getting a feeling of this personality you are and the creativity with which you are actually creating the world around you. So it’s from a spiritual point of view, my daughter, that you are already complete. There is nothing missing. Whether or not you can consciously realize this is a matter of spiritual growth and realization, a question of spiritual maturity.

Student 1:  So it didn’t have anything to do with death, then, right?  It’s what is going on right now, as humans on this earth?


Student 1:  So it’s not about when we’ve passed; that we’re still here.  Okay.  I think…

NEBADONIA: It’s a spiritual point of view of your personality, your changeless personality and your soul, this culmination of all that you’ve known in life. Everything you’ve known is part of your soul. It’s what you’re learning here. It’s actually what you’re earning by living, and in each moment of time it is complete. It’s complete in God; it’s complete in Total Reality. So whether an individual person can feel this and realize their completeness, it has this existence. As we say: you are complete, yet the realization of this, though, is a progressive thing.   For those who cannot yet feel it, it’s a matter of faith. It’s a trust in what we are assuring you--that you are complete.

The next moment comes not because you are missing something, but because even on the largest scale, my daughter, the whole creation, the whole universe, everything is moving moment to moment and changing. Time itself is all a function of God’s will, so this is a kind-of miraculous thing. You are complete and yet the next moment you are slightly changed. You have grown a little bit more. Your soul is a little bit bigger.

Death itself is just a big change! We don’t in any way make light of that. It’s not a minor thing for a human being. We have given our lessons on how you will never forget that moment of reawakening after you have so-called died, so that is a major change. But you yourself, my daughter, in each moment of time you are complete. And in your deepest meditation when you are really still and just feeling your heart beating all by itself, moment by moment by moment, you can know, you can realize this completeness. You can know that it is truly God that is bringing on the next heartbeat, the next moment.

It doesn’t make sense in a purely material way for if you are already complete, how can you be any more? How can you be more than complete? But that is the reality. That is what God himself is doing. God is absolute and infinite, complete in each moment, and yet here comes another moment, and another one, and another one. That’s just the miracle of life itself.  It’s a mystery, in a way. We can’t explain how it happens except by God’s will, but even as a human being you can feel this and rest assured in this fact.

Student 1:  Thank you.

NEBADONIA: You’re welcome.  Thank you for the wondering.  Isn’t it wonderful that God really gives us true things to wonder about?  Be in my love.

Student 2:  Mother, I always thought the heartbeat was part of the autonomous nervous system. Now you are saying God is keeping it beating.  Can you explain what that means?

(More mysteries)

NEBADONIA: Yes, my son.  And what gives life to the autonomous nervous system? Where does life itself come from?  What is life?  Excuse me if I seem to be just exchanging one mystery for another one. That might be my major theme tonight: just dropping a bunch of unfathomable things into your minds for you to wonder at.

Student 2:  Well, it’s bigger than I thought.

NEBADONIA: My son, I was just pointing at the origin of life itself. Who had the concept, the idea of something living, for as you know, life does not just spontaneously arise. All life is simply traced back to preexisting life; the human race back to the evolution of life, clear back to the Life Carriers who started it on your planet. But then who created them? Who created Michael and me? It all goes back to our Father. Folks even wondered what is the difference between life and spirit?  What about the fact that personality, not only your human type of personality but personality itself, is bestowed upon living systems be they physical, mental, or spiritual; or in your case all three. So personality requires this living condition with which to associate.

And in your Stillness, now, your personality, this essence of who you are, my son, can appreciate this living vehicle that you are, that gives you consciousness.  And so, in feeling your heartbeat, you are just opening yourself to the wonder, the rather unfathomable wonder of life itself.

Student 2:  Thank you, Mother.

NEBADONIA, laughing:  Excuse me for dropping another wonder into your midst here.

Student 2:  The more wonder the better.

NEBADONIA: Ah! Now you have it.

Student 3:  If I may ask?

NEBADONIA: Certainly.   

Student 3:  Regarding the first question, the circle is complete.  I’m getting that the human being is born with completion, but we go through hiccups in life where we forget, and that makes our own choice go this way or that way; we don’t know. Those are the life-lessons that we have to learn. It’s like an EKG where the heart may have a hiccup and stop for a moment. We have it all figured out, and as we figure life out then it comes together; then that hiccup is gone.

(Life’s hiccups)

NEBADONIA: Well spoken, my daughter. The circle is a wonderful symbol of this completeness, and as you take a circle through time it becomes a spiral. So we do make these circles, but there is a progress, there is something gained. This is our soul. All those little hiccups are part of our life’s experience. We lose ourselves; we reappear; and we learn to let go fearlessly. We learn to just step off into those things where we cannot see the end from the beginning. Only God can do that in a total sense. For us there is something called courage—nerve. It’s a marvelous quality that I enjoy, as your Mother Spirit, giving you a little nudge, a little boost in that dimension.

Often when we feel so--I should say Michael and I: when our human children feel alone and incomplete as if there is truly something missing in their life, this is a real experience. You say this is a hiccup, a little misfiring of some essential thing. It has sent some on a wild goose chase--mixing metaphors here: but what they are seeking cannot be found except by being still and just letting the completeness of their being overwhelm them and make itself known.  Because this encompassing, this completeness, my dears, is what holds you. So you have to be still from time to time and let it catch up. Be not afraid to just stop!--and let the whole of your being catch up to your smaller ego awareness and all your busy plans--all this you don’t feel complete until this or that is accomplished. Just be still. Have the courage to just stop and marvel at your heart beating. Let your spiritual oneness, your completeness, come over you to reassure you that you are; you absolutely are!  So thank you for putting it so completely.

Student 4:   Nebadonia, sometimes I pray that my thoughts and feelings and speech be guided by a higher source. I’m wondering if there’s anything in addition to silence that could more attune my thoughts to a higher source of wisdom or goodness or whatever, better than my typical inclinations or stuff that might be experienced by me. I guess I’d like to ask for some magic phrase or some way to access a connection to tune my mind into.

(Trying/doing and feedback)

NEBADONIA: Yes, my son.  Let me suggest in continuing, like we talked about before, and that is: take notes, either physically with pen or pencil and notepad, or in your mind; take note of these suggestions that can come to you. For then you have to act on them. This is the fulfillment. This is the necessary feedback from other-reality, other than you whether it be some physical thing, some activity, or some relationship with another person. This is what you need to flesh out, quite literally, these ideas you can get. Only then will you enter another creative circle--trying things; for then this very trial, if you will, is what gives you the information, gives you the soul wealth, with which to take the next step. The next step is always there and there will always be this need for courage to just step off and try those things that your own mind, your own spirit, even your Thought Adjuster--the presence of God within you, can suggest.

It takes your trying these things, my son, to bring on that next step that you are asking about. Things are suggested but if you don’t try them, it’s not that God gets tired of you and stops making suggestions, it’s that you yourself have not done the next necessary thing. You have to bring these things--these ideas, these suggestions in your mind, into reality. You have to act them out to get some feedback from what is not you.  The service you once asked about: it has to be real. It has to involve other folks. Then that’s a genuine experience, and from that the next step then can suggest itself. Now can you see this way?

Student 4:  Yes, I am surprised that you remembered I asked about service. That was quite a while back. I feel busted. I’m taking my time a little bit--finding that, and I’m grateful for your thoughts tonight. They feel right on.

NEBADONIA: That’s the thing, my son. Ask for the best thing you can do. It takes a lot of courage to ask that: what’s the best thing I can do today? You have a little free time.  What’s the best thing I can do? But then you have to do it, or try it, for from that experience comes the next question, and the next answer.  You might as well step off: it goes on forever.  Be in my love.

Student 5:  I have a comment.


Student 5:  For the last couple of years, maybe five years at a maximum, I’ve seen my life change, evolve, and right now I don’t know what to believe or who to follow. Except I follow now, presently, the philosophy of being my own light, being my own savior. Do the gods frown upon stuff like that?

(Be your own authority)

NEBADONIA: Oh, no, my son. That’s the point of it all. I’d say you found the ultimate thing. It’s just being open within yourself for what your own mind and the spirit within you can suggest. That doesn’t mean you can’t listen to others, and read, and listen, and be curious about all that you may encounter. But it’s up to you, my son, to then decide what you are going to do with it. So when you say you need to be your own final authority, you have reached a wonderful beginning. For this is where your true life begins, because it is your life. You can grow this ability to decide for yourself. So stay open to all philosophies but yes, keep building your own.

Student 5:  Thank you.

NEBADONIA: Thank you, my son, for the courage to discover that.

Student 5:  Inside my mind I acknowledge that you are. And therefore I bow down to it in my own way. I thank you for it.  

NEBADONIA:  Amen to that.  Be in my love.

Student 6:  If I may ask a question?

NEBADONIA: Certainly.

Student 6:  A great way to goals and things I want to happen in the serve industry or whatever; a great way to keep track and think about ways to bring about goodness, is in that circle.  (indistinguishable)


NEBADONIA: Well, keep in mind, my daughter, this process you call transmitting and receiving: you are all very capable of doing this.   And so many can start by doing a journal. Just sit down and start writing; some folks do it at the computer.  Just say, “Okay, Mom. (Nebadonia breaks out laughing)  Okay, Dad.  Okay, God.  What have you got for me today?”  And don’t be too surprised when something comes!

It will be very strange at first that all of a sudden something is coming right out of you from another point of view. But isn’t that the most precious thing? You have that old poem of “What a gift that God could give us, to see ourselves as others see us.”  So opening to that other point of view right within you; you can sit down at your computer and type it out, or pick up a pencil and start writing. To be open to what spirit has for you: what a gift!  What fun.

Student 6:  Thank you.

Student 7:  I think, Mother Spirit, it’s important to understand that to be open to what life and spirit, God and truth have for us, by not pigeon-holing it, by not labeling how things ought to be; it’s just being open. Like you say, it’s stepping off and letting go of what we perceive to be true and allowing what is already true--the essential truth of every living thing in this entire cosmos: by being open to what that is.

You say we are already complete. That is so healing! And I wish more people would understand that we don’t need anything; that we are already complete. We don’t need to be in or have a relationship. If we understand that each person is complete, the intimacy that people can experience, whether that be a love relationship between a man and a woman, or a man and a man, or a father and mother, or anything!—daughter-father: it’s so profound! We are not asking anything from anyone else to fill a void. It’s to understand that in each moment we don’t need to have our house to be a certain way. We don’t need to go and live in a commune. We don’t need to travel to find ourselves, you know, that “Eat, pray, and love” thing. I watched ten minutes of that movie and I just couldn’t take it. Anyway: I just couldn’t do it.

(Essence and the non-essential)   

But then the reality of what’s going on in the world; what’s going on in Japan. I think I mentioned the last time I was here, someone talked about their experience of being thrilled by experiencing what is non-essential; and by experiencing what is really essential to living in that moment, in this moment. We find that we need very little. And life can be so much simpler. But it is complicated because we are so diverse. But there is an underlying simplicity to each one of us, to everything. And you know, when we have hiccups, even hiccups are just a reminder that we are already complete. The completeness is already there. We don’t need to berate ourselves or go find self-help books because we are our own self-help book. The Bible is already within us; the Torah, the Bhagavad Gita: all that is within us. We are our own holy book. If we treated each person that way, this whole planet could be so different.

But it is there! See, that’s the vision! That’s what Gandhi and Emerson, Martin Luther King and Mother Theresa, and every single human being can tap into. It’s that completeness--that natural perfection, so to speak, is already within us. It’s already here. And like Mother said, if we allow ourselves to be silent, to take that short moment of silence--just a moment!--that world, that heaven on earth, so to speak, that nirvana is here for us to experience. And we are experiencing it right now, but we label things, we try to put description on that. But we are living, walking, breathing…little infinitudes?

I don’t know about little; but infinitudes. So, if we allow that, we need more wonder, as Charlie brought up. That’s what is lacking. I have a little four-year-old granddaughter living with me and it’s so beautiful watching her just singing and living and loving and telling me off and all that good stuff. But then the other day she was just touching my face. And just the wonder of all that! So we don’t have to beat ourselves up if we have moments of hiccups or all that. It’s just a reminder: “Hey! Just be quiet with yourself.”

Student 6:  I feel like I need a huge amount of education and knowledge to become more complete, because I don’t feel very complete. I feel like a work in progress. 

Student 7:  But that’s your own perception, your own description.  If you just let that go and be still with yourself. Don’t think! Don’t think. Stop thinking.

Student 6:  Nebadonia? (much laughter)


NEBADONIA: I’m still here. I enjoy all these expressions that come out when you let yourselves wonder. I just say it is very contra-distinct from so many folks, especially in the professions where they’ve gone through college, and then post-graduate work, and start out in rather complicated businesses--medicine or law, or whatever along those lines where you deliberately build up a sense of momentum. They need to feel they are getting this momentum going; they are really going somewhere. It’s kind of a sad irony that for these folks, wonder--the kind of open-ended wonder we are experiencing tonight--can be almost a fearful thing.

The whole idea of being already complete can be a fearful thing because it challenges their notion of this momentum, this career that they have built up, this movement they feel is so necessary to feel. For them to feel alive is to feel this kind of progress. And so sometimes it takes, as you say, a catastrophe. Sometimes as they are sitting there in the wreckage of all their dreams, they look around and begin to wonder at just the marvel of what they have taken for granted and never appreciated--just life itself.

(Whispered promises of eternity)

To be alive and to consider then that this life has a promise, a potential of eternity right within it, one need not be so anxious about building up this personal momentum, this “getting somewhere.” Just be still and feel the full force and power and potential of life itself whispering promises of eternity.

So let us thank our Father once again, and again, and again—forever!--for these lives we have, for these lives all around us. These are other personal beings that God created we can share our lives with, and marvel that they are not us--like that little four year old standing on her own two feet and challenging us. That’s where we find the generosity to be of real service. We can know the real thrill of genuine accomplishment, the undeniable insight that we are!--and we have just done something wonderful for someone else.

Thank you, my children, for gathering here tonight. Thank you for being so open, so responsive. I enjoyed what you’ve brought here, so much. Good evening. Be in my love.