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Tomas Vol IV - Butler, PA - June 23, 1998 thru August 18, 1998 - Part 9 of 13


In this section, the floodgates open up for Erata, who finds her Voice, through whom PEARL becomes a regular Student Teacher.  This process of coming on-line as a T/R is something that happens to those who feel the call, and it is one of the gracious aspects of the Teaching Mission that those who feel so inclined are always given the opportunity to experiment.  The transmissions of new T/R's are often simplistic, tentative, stilted or halting, such that some people who have sat through many hours of lessons with experienced T/Rs and advanced students become easily bored and impatient with these newcomers to the process.  The fact is, it is a process, and without hands on experience, the art will not be developed.  Rather than run the risk that only tried and true T/Rs will be heard, it is recommended that as many people as can learn, learn.  The idea is not to become rich and famous from this gift, or establish a new priesthood, but to become part of the cosmic neighborhood, and we all have a right to find our place therein. 


Damien's sojourn with "the Butler Berries" constituted a special era which will never be forgotten; he is much loved.  





VOLUME IV, Part 9 of 13

June 23, 1998 - August 18, 1998








June 23, 1998

Second Adjutant Mind Spirit: Understanding



June 30, 1998

Between Two Worlds


July 7, 1998

Listen With Your Heart; WILL


July 14, 1998

"Act As If"  Practice Session


July 14, 1998

Special Session; AHL


July 21, 1998

Anxiety and Disappointment; PEARL


July 28, 1998



August 4, 1998

Believe in That Which is Real


August 18, 1998

The Illusion of Control; PEARL, BENJAMIN, MACHIVENTA



[End of Vol. IV, Part 9 of 13]



VOLUME IV, Part 9 of 13




DATE:                        June 23, 1998

LOCATION:              Butler, PA, USA

T/R’s:                                     Gerdean, Hunnah, Rachel, Erata



Group:                        Iyana, Liana, Gerdean, Joniel, Leah, Erata, Hunnah and Rachel


Second Adjutant Mind Spirit of Understanding


TOMAS:        Good evening, my friends.  I am your companion, Tomas.

Group:            Good evening, Tomas


TOMAS:        I greet you in loving embrace. I am with a host of celestial companions, many of whom you know. Merium, of course, is at my side. Also we have with us this evening the midwayer you met last week who is coming back to speak to you this evening. She has opted to be called "Songbird" in honor of your appreciation for the warble and chirp of birds in your arena, in-as-much as they make a pure and joyous noise unto the Lord.


I myself am going to offer you a mini-lesson and we have hopes of time to have question and answer and I will also add to this evening's agenda, an item as to on-line capabilities of any of you others who would like to avail yourself of a moment in this configuration when we are at a maximum thrust of spirit energy. This is a very bountiful group this evening, strong in number and great in faith. At some point we will broach that possibility so all of you may be thinking and/or sensing appropriately a prompt. If you feel a prompt, you will have occasion to sing your own note. I would like to bring Songbird on board next, and then we can hear from Merium and take it from there. One moment please.


SONGBIRD:                         Good evening, my cousins, I am Songbird. I rejoice in the name. I want you to know that I am designated by number and although in my realm it is adequate for me to be known by my number, in your realm you enjoy the personalization of a name and so we get to choose the name by which we will be known and it gives me great pleasure to be known to you as songbird. Hopefully I will not sound like a duck, but even they can have their glory.


Now, my friends, what I was hoping to be able to talk with you about is indeed a continuation of the theme I introduced last week and I believe that you have all benefited from giving some thought to your understanding of your intuition and how it may relate to your spiritual survival and your appreciation for the tribal aspect of you as believers.


Look at the tribe, for example, of your Urantia Book readers and compare it now to the tribe of, let us say, followers of Yogananda and let us for variety sake throw in the tribe of ... Whom shall we say? Pick some spiritual tribe having a viable reality. Let us say then ...


Leah:                          Students of A Course in Miracles.

SONGBIRD:             Good.  Another?  Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.

Leah:                          Sai Baba devotees?

SONGBIRD:             Yes.

Rachel:                       Jehovah Witnesses?


SONGBIRD:             Joel Goldsmith and Edgar Casey. Yes, indeed, the Witnesses also, although I am urging you to think in terms of the new and living way. All right. Those are examples of tribes. Now, let us see what comes to mind when we think of Ms. Myss and her second chakra. Her second chakra speaks to power, control, sex and money. It is an external socializing approach to life, and in particular for the animal way of life. In comparison, I ask you to look at the second adjutant mind spirit. I know you have, Liana, earmarked that excerpt for inclusion into our lesson.


Liana:                         You want me to read it?

SONGBIRD:                         Please.


Liana:                         [Urantia Book, Pg. 402, THE LIFE CARRIERS, #2.:] "The spirit of understanding -- the impulse of co-ordination, the spontaneous and apparently automatic association of ideas. This is the gift of the co-ordination of acquired knowledge, the phenomenon of quick reasoning, rapid judgment, and prompt decision."


SONGBIRD:                         Thank you. Now, have you not all felt a certain co­ordination even in reading these words that can equate all of these tribal facets as elements of our brotherhood, our spiritual Family of God? Indeed, as you look to each other in the higher realms, including the spirit, you see the different tribal factors as fellows in the ascent, in the attempt at enlightenment.


These are your brothers in truth. The verbiage may be different; the definitions may modify, but the understanding of divinity is shot through them all. You can plow through the different language to the truth, to the core, and there is no real conflict. There is cooperation through the spirit of understanding.


This adjutant mind spirit, this gift of the Mother, enables you to embrace all of these tribes that are of the Father and yet are different in color, in practice, in habit -- very, much like the animal tribes of your planet differ but are still the same in so many ways.


I would like for you -- if you are so inclined -- to think on this during this week, and realize how same you are with the other tribes in the Family of God. In the animal way you would have found it necessary to have power over the other or control. You would have approached them all in terms of how you could either copulate with them, exchange goods with them, overpower them and assimilate them, make them work for you, get their land, convert them or some other lesser behavior, but in the higher way you can recognize them as your siblings and now the barriers are down, the bridges are crossed. Understanding is able to bear you all forward into a fraternal embrace of faith, joy and light. It is a way of feeling that in the Family of God we are all one in truth.


An interesting observation, indeed. I am not as adept a teacher as Merium and Tomas, but remember I have not had their practice. In time perhaps I myself could be still, but I am happy with my methods in my own right. I have been an assistant of the Melchizedeks for many, many centuries and I have found my work to be most gratifying, satisfying, and we are so happy to have you now be aware of our assistance, and how joyous we are that you begin to see you embrace your brothers and sisters in the light of truth, indeed. Good evening.


Group:            Thank you.

Leah:              Are you still there?  Can I ask a question?

MERIUM:     Yes, indeed.  Good evening, everyone, this is Merium.

Group:            Hello, Merium.

MERIUM:     And that was a very good send-off.


Leah:              I have encountered a situation with someone. ... who has professed to be an atheist and does not want any of this God stuff discussed in their home, and I need some advice.


MERIUM:     Would you please clarify something for the group?

Leah:              Yes.

MERIUM:     Did you say that they did not want any of this God teaching in their home?


Leah:              Yes. However, this person's wife IS interested in having things discussed and the husband came home and said, "I don't want to hear any of this. I'm an atheist and Out!" I need some advice as to how to look at this situation.


MERIUM:     We'll have a Heloise moment. A Dear Abby moment. First of all, the configuration of this problem is not any different than any other human problem in the sense as far as you are involved. This is personal; this is in their marriage. If you are friends with the woman, you can maintain that and address his Thought Adjuster and hers if you like, and know that this does not have to be a battleground. This wisdom will be shown to your friend that this does not have to be discussed in front of him. The wisdom will come to her that this need not be a battleground. There are many different approaches but obviously the concern here this evening is that it burdens you, dear.


Leah:              It not only burdens me, it burdens a friend of mine. You want to share your treasure, and you don't want to offend anybody, and my feeling is kind of to just leave it alone, but you say to address the Thought Adjuster of each of these people.


MERIUM:     Yes. Acknowledge their Thought Adjuster. This information is being used as a tender spot and it need not be. There are other conflicts, apparently, between the two and it has nothing to do with "God stuff".


Leah:              Oh, I see.  This is just a handy opportunity to...


MERIUM:     Yes.  We could get into the human arena here this evening and get lost, but as you know, in the human scene there is a continuous stirring for power, and it is fear-based.


Leah:              Well, listening to the midwayer talk about, you know, understanding that people who are on a different path are children of God and this particular person has professed "I am an atheist," and I still feel like he's a child of God whether he thinks he's an atheist or not!


MERIUM:     That is a proper definition/interpretation for you, dear, but he has to keep himself comfortable.


Leah:              Yeah. Right. I don't have any intention of shoving anything down his throat. I just -- it's put a glitch in the relationship between his wife and other parties, and ... almost the traditional subservient Christianity thing about being subservient to your husband, however I am aware that it says in the Bible, "if your husband is a holy man", but .... I guess that's good enough, but if anybody wants to jump in on this, if they know what I'm talking about....


MERIUM:     There is a great deal of convenient crutch-bearing quoting scripture. We will be very rebellious in one moment and want to be independent and in the next moment we will run to the Bible and get some convenient statement that will allow us to hide behind it. That has to stop. If you are looking for counsel, a quick line from scripture will be superficial. You must go into quiet to be still and renew a new definition, but moving into other people's relationships is not the business that we have here. It is very distracting, but it is not on your plate, so to speak.


Leah:              So if there's any sharing to be done, with this female party, let's say, would probably have to do the speaking and express the interest and just leave the male party alone.


MERIUM:     Absolutely. It is the female's nature to want to re­arrange everything in her environment. It is a power. It is also. And religion is frequently used. Perhaps it's one of the last symptoms to go.


Leah:              We're speaking of religion.  Not of spirituality, here, but authoritarianism?


MERIUM:     We're speaking about respecting each other, and when you find something wonderful and meaningful to you, you need to protect it and not take it where it doesn't belong. Your life should be your example.


Rachel:           I have something for you along those lines. Last Thursday we had this couple for dinner that are Christians and boy did we get into the discussion. They go by the scripture; they quote the Bible, obviously read it ... but they couldn't believe that there was any other way to find God for anybody but in and through those words, that book. And she flat out looked at me and told me that I do not know Jesus because I have not asked for forgiveness for my sins. And I let it go.


And Ethan and I both tried to express that there are many ways to find the Father, and it just hit me over the head how difficult it is for this world, for people to come together and agree on anything as far as differences about God or the way they see it or wish to express it!


Iyana:             That's true.


Rachel:           I mean, it really was upsetting to me!  Truly!  Because how are we ever to grow and come together if, you know, if each sector says, "It has to be this way!"?


Iyana:             Some people have their mind made up and that's it. They cannot change it. They won't see to change it, so you just leave them alone.


Rachel:           Well, I did. I mean... Actually I made everybody hold hands and I said a prayer to Jesus because the situation was getting a little explosive, and it seemed to diffuse this after the prayer, but I really have to wonder, Merium, how is this supposed to come together? I'm baffled.


MERIUM:     Well, first of all, man likes to intellectualize and likes to have like-minded company and continually tries to convert those around him to make himself comfortable. As you seek the Master and the love, and as you are allowed to be lifted and stretched, you will be able to love and respect all, regardless of where their attention is or what their definition is. Many parrot the truth. They have all the buzz-words. As you say today, "Things are politically correct" and they can be "religiously correct."


Man is simply trying to make himself comfortable. I would not trouble myself. It is surprising, it is educational, but it is not good dinner conversation. Probably everyone here has made the mistake of allowing it to be, because those that are not truly embracing the true belief, become defensive or become very intellectual and try to stress some point of knowledge, and as you have found out, that has nothing to do with anything.


Rachel:           That's true.


MERIUM:     If you wish to express your faith, allow yourself to wait and let words that are not religious be electrifyingly powerful in their own right when they are given to you. Do not come in for a plan of attack and for new tools, but simply know that if you develop a healthy atmosphere and this type of conversation is allowed to be woven, that the words will be given to you.  And they may not have to be popular!


It is natural to want what you have found to be accepted by others and Hunnah knows only too well that she has trouble talking to anyone without dragging the pleasure of what she has found into the conversation. But when you do that, know that the person that you were talking to has their own experience and their own definitions and their own examples, and it is not necessary to make anyone uncomfortable. Honor who you speak to. But it is as volatile as politics, sometimes.


This evening is not going quite where you thought it would go, Tomas, but the conversations that were taking place prior to our gathering were very informative. It shows the relaxation and acceptance and the openness and the readiness for an expanded appreciation of what has been received here.


It's almost as if you were trying to play a piano but you did not understand what a piano was and how it works inside and all of a sudden you have a gentle curiosity to perhaps lift the lid and look in to see what happens when you touch a key. You still marvel at the sound but you know that there are workings there that are complicated and yet you know too that it is there for you as a part of your expression in your experience, and I want you to know that you are all where you should be and you are all equipped and you are all allowed to look and explore and appreciate, and behold the presence of a living God everywhere you go, because these are the eyes and the understanding that have wakened in you and they will not leave you.


Enjoy your wonderments and your sharing. Not once this evening did we hear "should have" and "if" and I would say that was a sign of progress. We heard a great deal of "oh" and "ah" and "ooh" and as Gerdean pointed out, much trilling, and it was very pleasant. Tomas? We need a rooster here of some sort.


TOMAS:        You do not need one but I am on hand. I am not displeased at all with the course of events this evening. They are right on schedule and in line with our aforementioned agenda. I am pleased with us all. I will also add more words to the program but I am eagerly looking forward to the questions that have been prepared.


MERIUM:     I would like to say something first, if I may. Earlier this evening it was mentioned that there has been quite an endless flow of words here and that there was a new appreciation once again, finally a just dawning of the delicious silence which you are allowed to experience. I say "delicious" because it will become familiar to you, and in the same breath, fresh and welcome and you will get comfortable with the quiet, the way one does when they learn to swim and after awhile they get pretty good at it; they lose their fear and they simply are in the water enjoying it, so I am hoping that you will allow yourself to approach with confidence this state of allowing yourself to be quiet, with rapt attentiveness in knowing that you will have dropped your nets and in this net will be a drought of living truth, applicable knowledge and confidence, and yet the passivity, the quietness that also is most becoming and satisfying to you. Thank you.


It is indeed wonderful to have you with us, Iyana. We are pleased to see that your body is mending. It's good to see you here, dear.


Iyana:             I'd like to say that I feel as though convalescing is on an even keel. I've dropped yesterday and I don't think of tomorrow; I'm just here.


MERIUM:     It sounds as if she's getting the hang of it.


TOMAS:        Leah or Joniel, are you willing to put forth the question that was formulated en route?


Joniel:             Yeah, I can ask a question. I have a friend who is very charitable and she just helps indiscriminately, and I was wonder­ing, how can one tell when to help and when the help is not really needed, that it might do harm instead of good, that the person really does not need that help? How can you tell where to draw the line? In loving service.


TOMAS:        Then I will speak to your inquiry and Merium may follow up if she desires.


We have discussed loving service before. It is a fascinating topic, one which can be discussed at length and often for each of you in your daily affairs are given the opportunity many times a day to be of service and each of these are opportunities that often will bring about a question as to whether or not it was done as perfectly as possible.

I would like to bring to the forefront the word "enable" as compared to "disable" for sometimes when you are of service to someone, you are enabling them to do something, and on the other hand you may be disabling them from learning how to do it on their own.


Indeed, in loving service there is probably no place else where you need to look more closely at motives -- yours in particular. Now for you to question the motives of your friend who is so giving as to come to your attention, your concern is only in the receiving unless she asks you for counsel about her giving, her charitable acts. If you feel that they are being spent on you unfairly, you must decline. She may or may not hear you in terms of why you are declining, but if you feel that she is being more generous than is good for you, then it is your responsibility to say, "No. Thank you anyway. "


It is not often that individuals are so generous with their time and energy, but it makes you wonder as to what their motivations are, for the animal is innately selfish and there are not that many Mother Theresa's around, and so I mention motives. What do you suppose are her motives?


Iyana:             She was working for Jesus.


TOMAS :       Mother Theresa, certainly, but I am addressing Joniel' s friend who is charitable to excess.


Joniel:             What are her motives?  She just enjoys doing it.


TOMAS:        `Then she is in the right. If the charity that she offers you personally is beyond your ability to accept then you must decline. It is not normal that someone be so charitable, and yet we need more loving service, more giving, innately, naturally. It is more blessed to give than receive. It is a chief fruit of the spirit to be of loving service.


My lesson however includes motives because many times (and I'm not speaking of your friend, necessarily, but, in general) many times people are of service for the pay-back. This is true because of your interdependencies, because of expectations, because of habit, because of co-dependencies, and also because you seek the reward inherent therein, for if you have done something good you expect something good.


This is a law of the universe but it may not come from the source that you anticipate, and it is equally true that you must look at your motives in terms of serving the Father, for if you want to serve him in order that you get something for it, even here your motives are incorrect. It is an aspiration, then, that we all have that we should be selfless in our ministry.


If your friend is charitable out of the goodness of her heart, no doubt the Father is supervising her motives and benefiting her in a most charitable way himself.


Joniel:             Thank you.

Leah:              May I ask a question?

TOMAS:        Yes, Leah.


Leah:              What did you mean when you said, if it's too much to accept her friend's generosity, let's say, can you give us an example of what would be the drawing line? Is it like doing things for her that she's capable of doing herself or is ...? You said, "if it's too much...."


TOMAS:        Let us then choose an example of someone who wants to give you fresh milk and they bring you a quart a day and you cannot drink a quart a day; it sours. Perhaps for awhile, you, knowing that she insists, will take the milk and begin to give it to the neighbors or to the cat, but eventually you discover that it is taking up more of your life than is part of the Father's will for you, and you ask her, "Please. No more. How about one a week? How about less?" She has given you too much, even though she may feel that giving is what she is to do. She feels in the mood to give. You can draw the line and say, "I cannot accept your giving. Give elsewhere." This is not a rejection of her giving; this is a realization of your accepting that you cannot accept all that she has to give.


Leah:              I see. Well, the reason that I asked the question, is because it strikes me that we, in our nature, have a hard time receiving and I'm glad you clarified that.


Joniel:             My friend just likes to cook and she wants to make meals for everybody. And she invites everybody over for dinner all the time and she's just lost her husband about three months ago and ...


Leah:              She's lonely then.


Joniel:             Yeah, and she makes sandwiches and takes them to her friends to help themselves. She just likes working around -- especially food and sharing her food with everybody.


Errata:            It's part of her therapy for the loss, perhaps, and to be amongst people would be part of it. Plus her generosity.


Leah:              Well I appreciate the clarification; I understand it a lot better now.

Gerdean:        Hunnah had a question about ...

Leah:              Modalities.


Gerdean:        Oh, yeah. There are so many wonderful things going on in the world today … kineticamera, the intuitive medical healings.  What else is there? Devices like copper bracelets, ...


MERIUM:     All right. You are telling me that you have a kitchen with many appliances in it, and you're going to still cook the meal. Let me tell you these gifts are available, these gatherings are available. None of them can do your homework. None of them can replace the work that you have to do, and if you decide that you want to take up an instrument and practice it a little bit, when you go to rehearsal, it would not be as good for the group as it would be if you had done your practice.


The door that you open or the group that you attend, you honor if you do your part. To look around and say, "Is this group better than that group?" will depend upon how you resonate. You will know whether you are content; you will know whether it's all right to pick up something that you know will help in any given moment.


You were talking this evening, I heard somebody say something about castor oil. Castor oil has been with you people for a very long time. The coils are ancient and, you might say, have a new life. It is not the timing, it is the opportunity that you put to great use that is important, but nothing will replace or lift or assist the ascension greater than a devoted heart.


You will find each other. If it would help you to find a living teacher, a living master, you will find that master. You may not find it in 1998, you may find that living master in 2010, but it is your journey and it is unique, and I do not feel that any attempt you have to make your human experience here more comfortable, more meaningful, should be frowned upon.


There are activities which are in vain, but when you lift up that activity and you invite the Father in to participate with it, then you have honored the good that you serve. You are allowed to bring the body, the mind and the spirit together in this experience.


We were talking about harmony, and when you come together with harmony as your goal, then the appearance of healing, of mending, of releasing, of bonding -- you have many words to describe your experiences here, but it can be very distracting -- if you want to maintain the resonance of the beauty of the living Word that you seek, it can come about and you do not have to choose the path of fixing and speaking. It is a very creative experience and you are not to trouble yourself to say "This is better than that. Is that better than that?"


What is best is that you allow yourself to be taught and learn about how you function as a human and how you are released into this new creation of light that you are pursuing in the name of goodness, in the name of Christ Michael's mission: the purpose to bring you in to your rightful Home and your holiest understanding.


Many of you have been in this religion or that religion. You were born into the custom of it and it is up to you to have this incredible journey and to make the best of it, use all of your experience to nourish and to cultivate a living relationship that may be effective here on this plane. Tomas?


TOMAS:        I am here.  I am enjoying the evening.  I am not going to be a rooster crowing.


MERIUM:     Let us take this coil devise that was described that resonates a particular vibration. Let us take a pan of water also, and perhaps warm the water, offer it to tired feet. It will be most welcome, most refreshing. The nerve endings in your feet will respond to the bathing, the creaming, the knowledgeable touch that will send a message of release and stimulation throughout the human form.


Let us now imagine that there is not a pan of water available, or lotion, but there is this device and you are told that if this device is used in a particular way, it will resonate and compliment and comfort the human configuration of your body. Is there a preference? You meet the need at the level of the need.


When you do what you call Reiki movement, technique, what you are doing is saying, "I honor this body and I am here to help it, to assist to release the tension throughout, that all the cells may agree in response so that there may be a harmonious experience in that body and all the gardens that are called organs or systems may be allowed to flow and function in a new and perfected manner."


So you can take your entire assortment, whether it is a massage or you add some fresh herbs or whatever, you must keep in the back of your mind, "Is this is something that you do to be busy? Do you like the attention that it brings?" It is up to you to do your own personal homework, but I tell you that the highest path is to glorify God. It would be no different from the woman who broke the ampoule of oil and put it on Christ's feet. Christ's feet or someone else's feet, it is one in the same.


So any mode that honors and celebrates the life of those about you is indeed honorable, and it should not be a trouble. The gentleman that was introduced in the conversation this evening, from the East, he is a living example of the outcome of a life that has been devoted to the release of a refined definition of what life meant to him, and when he found that it brought him great joy, how could he hide it? Others would find him.


And this is what has happened. When the student is ready, they will seek a teacher. It may be someone who has come into your life for a short time but they will use your relationship as if you were a teacher, and they will then move on and another teacher will be found, so do not trouble yourself. Go out and enjoy your life and let those who happen to be available to you in the most beautiful configuration be "a blessing in my name", as it is said. I hope this helps.


TOMAS:        Merium, you're getting pretty good, there, girl.

MERIUM:     Thank you.


TOMAS:        I'd like to offer the opportunity to you all to begin to transmit. I am prepared to exercise with you if you would be interested.


Group:            Here! here!  I'm interested!


TOMAS:        Then let us, Merium, meander around the circuit board here and avail ourselves of these voices in order that they may hear the knock and open. Each of you, begin to perceive your realization that you are available as you step out in faith. If you see a word, hear a movement, feel a prompt, act upon it in good faith. Our purpose is not to grade you or to push you but to give you encouragement and support in your own acceptance of your ability to work with us. Each of your personal teachers is on hand as well. I am taking Gerdean off-line. Merium is releasing Hunnah. All of us are open now to the Master Conductor himself. Have fun.


[Pertinent parts salvaged and set forth herein:]


VAN EL:        The circuitry is connected. We are on-line. You are all sensitive to the circuit board. I will remind you that each time there is a configuration we come in to check the wiring, so to speak. This is Van El. (Airplane drowned out his voice.) We have been anticipating this era for millennia. If you feel that we expect you to become adept at once, you may rest at ease. It is a process, and the first step in the process is not speaking but believing.


If you believe in the viable connection between you and our Creator Father/Brother, between you and the indwelling Adjuster who resides with you and for you, you will know in what to place your faith. If indeed your faith is whole, it will be revealed to you how you may serve in this capacity for this capacity is not a mere enter­tainment for you on certain evenings. It is a growth process which occurs within your very soul, and you are embarking upon an episode of your ascension that will not ever return to its former days of inaction, and so you are perhaps correct to pause at the threshold for you will not be the same. Your faith will have proved itself to you; you will know that you are co-creators with the living God.


Leah:              Van El?

VAN EL:        Yes.


Leah:              I'm always up for clarification. Somehow intuitively -- I know this is what you're not saying, but I'm hearing it somehow, and that is ... In my brother's church -- he's a fundamentalist, they say if you don't speak in tongues that you're not a true believer, and ... I don't happen to believe that, but ... you're not saying that if we don't participate in this that we're not exhibiting faith. You're not saying that, are you?


VAN EL:        Why do you care? Why do you argue with yourself? Why must you have it in black and white, A-B-C?


Leah:              Because I'm dwelling in this human body, attempting to reach out to spirituality, but I seem to get stuck in the quagmire of humanness a little bit too much.


VAN EL:        Then you have answered your own question.

Leah:              I did?

Erata:              You're stuck in the quagmire.

Leah:              Thank you, Erata.


VAN EL:        You are comfortable, so to speak, within the configuration of your life as it is, and you are blessed to find your life comfortable indeed, but as you seek to grow, you must have faith. Your faith will grow in proportion to your willingness to allow it to grow. As you allow it to grow (and this is the process of growth), you decide.


Leah:              Well, can you tell me -- Am I speaking to Van El?

VAN EL:        Yes.

Leah:              Did I understand you to say that the circuitry was okay or operative?

VAN EL:        Yes.

Leah:              It's only the leap of faith that prevents this potential from being reached?

VAN EL:        Yes.


Leah:              But is this a necessary potential particularly because .. Actually I do want to do this, but the free will thing. I mean, there are some people who just will not do this. Is it necessary to do this?


VAN EL:        No.

Leah:              Thank you.

MADIGAN:   May I speak?

VAN EL:        Yes!


MADIGAN:   Rachel here is taking a leap of faith to have me come through. This is Madigan.


Group:            Good evening, Madigan.


Leah:              Yes.


MADIGAN: I will give you an example, using Rachel and her leap of faith in her struggles to reach her divinity because she tends to flounder so much in the humanness. She holds onto her humanness, fearing she will never be divine.


Recently she has had some great struggles with her faith and she hit bottom again. (She is not listening to me all the time, but) she took a great leap of faith and went out to do what she knew she must do and lo and behold the faith in her was renewed stronger. She is feeling good now. She can't believe she is speaking now, as a matter of fact. It is, I suppose, just a baby step at a time, to touch the divine nature, to touch it, to tap it, to dance with it, to love it, to hold it, to have joy in it. It is in you, is in all of you. So have faith.


Leah:              Thank you, Madigan.


VAN EL:        Van El here. I would like to thank you, Rachel, for your courage and for your willingness to allow your teacher to come through for we enjoy her voice, we enjoy her manifestation of God-consciousness. We enjoy the grace and beauty of He who manifests through you and your good faith.


Rachel:           Thank you.

Erata:              My head feels like a ten pound ball.

Hunnah:          Keep going.

Gerdean:        Drop the rock.

Hunnah:          Tell a story to us.


Errata:            I'm not sure where to go with it, because I don't know who I am.  If I could get past my shoulders, I'd be okay. It's energy, and it's real hot.  It's like my shoulders are being pushed down.


TEACHER:  It is good to be here.

Leah:              Welcome.


TEACHER:    There is such unity in the group, I can almost feel the love between all of you. It gives me goosebumps, almost. There is real love. Each one cares about each other in their own way and wants them to understand the needs of each other. It almost looks like you compliment each other, one for one and one for another. It is good. The group has its problems but they seem to work it out.


All of you are here for a purpose, the purpose keeps growing. It's like taking a step at a time, like building blocks. Some that are more experienced are teaching the younger. That's how families work. And that's how people grow. Everyone from a different background, you have become one. (Indistinguishable) The exper­iences you take on ... it all goes together. As you each have learned from each other's experiences, no matter what background you come from. You should be solid as a rock in the faith and your friendship (indistinguishable), when you reach out, when you share, when you bring in, like a family adopting an infant, bringing in a new one, being mentors to the young ones, then their faith will grow and then it becomes more because as each gets older and more mature they take in new ones and then it goes and then the world will be filled with faith, just as you are.


And it starts in a small group, just like this is, but you affect many people, many times, many ways, because everyone sees your light, so even though you think you are a small group, you really are not because each of you affects another small group that's not even a member of the group, and so when you have seven or eight of you, or nine, and one is among the group, that one affects many others, and so then it snowballs and grows.


Then the faith is spread as each becomes accustomed to what the true meaning of faith and reality and Spirit of Truth is. That is how it will work. That is how the world will change. People will be saying in faith, "His will, will be done." Maybe in time I will be able to tell you who I am.


Leah:              Thank you for the beautiful message. (Pause) I just keep wondering like the rest of you, am I supposed to be hearing words.


Erata:              I heard no words, it just came.

Leah:              Through your vocal cords.

Erata:              Absolutely.

Leah:             No reading.

Erata:              Nothing.

Leah:              No prompts.

Erata:              No.

Leah:              Just the energy.

Errata:            Urn-hum.  Yes.


Rachel:           If you were all to draw a picture of a clown, everyone would draw a different picture of the clown, yet it is still a clown. We all see in different ways, feel in different ways, we react in different ways, and we feel the prompts in different ways. Choose your way.




DATE:                        June 30, 1998

LOCATION:              Butler, PA, USA

T/R’s:                          Gerdean, Hunnah, Erata



Between Two Worlds


MERIUM:     Good evening.

GROUP:         Good evening.


MERIUM:     It is good to have you come to us. We are not coming to you this evening, for you have allowed yourself to respectfully gather and release yourself, presenting yourself with empty cups. It will be much easier to fill them, to soothe the places that have been released, and to renew you in your purpose. There is a line of scripture, "Come to me all of you who are heavy burdened, and I will bring you peace." This is what the purpose of the evening is, of course, and it is good to see you once again. Tomas, do you think you'll be able to join us this evening?


Gerdean:        This is Gerdean.

MERIUM:     Gerdean, would you like to have the evening off?


Gerdean:        I think, at least for a while.  Tomas is here; I am aware of his presence, but …


MERIUM:     All right. The weather has changed. We have had some storms that have cleared the air and now the sun is out and everyone is refreshed. I hope that this is something that you can relate to, whether you have been working in your home or you have been out at a job, but you have been allowed to come in for a respite and celebrate with us. Before I go on talking, I would like to know if there is anyone who wishes to present a question. I can always call on the group to assist me in answering.


Gerdean:        Is this Merium?

MERIUM:     Yes.

Gerdean:        I've been meaning to come and meet with you.

MERIUM:     We are with you, dear.  Your discomfort is understood.


Gerdean:        I hear you talk about all these wonderful, happy things, you know? It's very hard for us on this planet to be consistently happy, joyous and free! I get a little bit of a resentment sometimes when I hear you guys always having such a good time, telling us to lighten up. This is not an easy place to live! There's a lot of pain here, a lot of betrayal; there's a lot of anger, there's a lot of fear. Don't get me wrong. I'm very grateful that you're here. I'm very grateful for the teachers.


MERIUM:     Without sounding like Heloise, I would like to approach a subject. The concerns that come with the human are the wearying of their nature from taking on responsibilities that are not theirs. You have been taught through your Christian and your religions to be your brother's keeper. This is a message to one who is awakened in spirit.


When you are awakened in spirit, it is not difficult to be your brother's keeper, but like you have pointed out, you are still a house divided against itself. You have a humanness that wants to keep up the agreements of earth, and the spirit that is willing to surrender to the effortless effort of which it is well aware. It is a paradox.


Compassion is indeed an appropriate offering. It is a thin line as to when to assist and when not to assist. There is a book that states, "Who told you so? Man or God?" and if you look at some of the decisions that are made here among you, you will know that they are not decisions that have been brought to counsel. They are not godly choices; they are choices that have been made through your human conditioning, whether it be good or less than good.


You are indeed stretched between two worlds. That is the appearance, and when you are humanly carrying the burden of a human choice, and then you will tire. It is a house of sticks, in a sense, and when your best intentions fail, it is devastating. This is not a loss, my dear. There have been powerful insights for you, for yourself.


Gerdean:        I don't regard it at all as a loss.


MERIUM:   That is good.  You will fill your cup this evening, and it will make you strong.  You have a clarity of vision.


Gerdean:        I had a moment last night. The candle came on, and I was very glad to see it come on, of course, but I had a realization that I don't want the responsibility of transmitting.


MERIUM:     Congratulations. That is all right. You need a rest. When your cup is full, you will be comfortable. I feel as if Hunnah is going to leave me. She wants to come across the room to you.


Gerdean:        [Laughing] Well, that sounds like Hunnah. I appreciate it. I do appreciate my friend.


MERIUM:     She, too, has felt this and is troubled with her human definition and lack of appreciation of it, and it is when she feels watered down, so to speak, or has spent too much time in the arena, that this transmitting looks foolish and like a responsibility. You have been in the arena and you have spent all your reserves, it appears, and you will be renewed. You see, you can no longer play by the old rules, and it is very frustrating.


Gerdean:        What old rules?


MERIUM:     An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Marking your boundaries and territories. Having opinions. And hearing your opinion and finding out it's been passed down for generations and you're wearing it like you owned it. And this is an impersonal statement, but it is the human condition of which you suffer, and all others, indeed, will also weaken the mind, physical fatigue.


There is no need for teaching this evening, but there is a need for renewing, for being good to yourself, for pulling yourself aside and being still, receiving manna from within. My prescription, if I was to give you one, is to do exactly what is on your agenda -- to go and be among those who are in unity, who are gathering to praise the Father's name. You will be uplifted sufficiently to allow yourself to be enthusiastic, and this troublesome situation will be left where it belongs -- in the human realm. You might say you have given yourself permission to visit heaven for awhile. R&R.


Gerdean:        The kingdom of heaven is within.

MERIUM:     Yes, dear.


Gerdean:        And I carry that around with me. As a reality of my life. Being in the conference is indeed going to be in a glorified state because I'll be with a good sized group, which of course brings a lot of energy, a quantity. Similar to the fact that when we gather together there is more energy than one person. I am certainly looking forward to that, and the rejoicing, and the growth. And I don't want to think that going there and being with them is more real than sitting in stillness with my Father even when I am alone.


MERIUM:     You are filling up very well. Your definition is a wise one. It is understood, and we know that you know that, that it is alright to go apart and to be separate from a draining routine. I have heard it too many times at this gathering, the call to break away. "I want to be alone" and in that loaded statement, it states, "I want to go Home, emotionally and spiritually, for a little while" to the mountain, so to speak, and it is normal, and those who have said it also, like you, know the sanctity of the precious private quiet time, a time when you will reinstate the ability to be objective. I am very pleased that you spoke up. It would be difficult to do that over a textbook, wouldn't it?


Gerdean:        Very.  Yes.  I like the workbook.


MERIUM:     I must tell you something. It is rather amusing. If it was not for these cheeks that are up around Hunnah's eyelashes, she would be out of here. She lives in such utter despair that the words are not a fantasy that sounds good. It takes a certain amount of "cheek" you might say, to have the courage to open your mouth and sound too much like yourself.


Gerdean:        That's very good.  I like your humor.


MERIUM:     Hunnah is grateful for my comment and she is also thinking of her friend, Erata, who is going to join the club.


Gerdean:        Yes, her cheeks are up already.


MERIUM:     Joy-filled doubt. There's trust involved, but there's tremendous human remnant, as Hunnah describes it. This gutsy, grabbing, enhungered, power-hungered humanness, that will also collapse at the least challenge, is such a doubting Thomas. It is like having an elephant in your tent, and you must spend such a large part of your day that "I AM". The new reality has to be constantly watched for because it is so distracting.


You are the new kid on the block, the block being, of course, the manifestation of your human personality and all that entails, and all of the other human personalities that are in your territory, the shared territory. It is indeed a challenge, so it is indeed bewildering. You have learned more about us and we have learned more about you and can appreciate having this opportunity to witness the agony and the ecstasy of the apparent division, the discovery amidst something that appeared to be the only truth, the newness of your own reality. And having control over the old.


This evening Iyana spoke to Hunnah and said, "I just cannot meditate. I have not been reading my book, etc, etc." Hunnah agreed. She too has not been able to give the time to this developing life force in her, and that is why you suffer. If you were better gardeners, you might say, you would not feel this division. You need the nourishment, the constant attention, because it is developing, and until it is greater in your experience than the old pattern, you are going to be tossed about. If you don't mind, I would like to take a break.


Iyana:             Thank you.




TOMAS:        I am Tomas.  I am your teacher.

Group:            Hi, Tomas.


TOMAS:        I am glad to have the opportunity to come on-line and to voice my presence, to be in your midst, to call your attention to our purpose, our program of operation here in this Teacher Base. It is my privilege to remind you from time to time of our purpose in being here; our purpose, that is we teachers. We have come to companion you and to assist you in your attempts to gain in spiri­tual reality. We are not here to make your lives easier. We are not here to party, although indeed it is a cause for rejoicing when you come to know the spirit and your place within the kingdom.


Indeed, there is no greater celebration than the betrothal of your will with the Father's will. All of the universe rejoices in this configuration. It is our privilege to be your teachers. It is an honor for us to be given the opportunity to work with you and for you on behalf of Michael, our Lord of Nebadon. It is indeed a pleasure when we perceive you individually grasp the connection between yourselves and your spirit family, when you avail yourself of those circuits that can enable you to be a conduit for his mercy ministry to your fellows here on your world.


We honor and acknowledge your opportunity to serve in the capacity of transmitter receiver, all of you who have accomplished this task, this skill, for it is a way in which, in the ideal, you can set aside your personal concerns and speak to the soul of the issue of divine love. As Hunnah spoke in praise of the practice of prayer, spoken aloud, in giving voice to your claim of affinity with divinity, you are elevated, you are ennobled, and you can acknowledge your own divinity potential. You can realize yourself.


It is true also when you begin to allow the words of your teachers to be voiced through your vessel, your act of faith expands your ability to put your faith into action, and as you expand, we all expand. There are indeed responsibilities inherent in this process. It is part of your being aware of your involvement. This is why we call this transmitting/receiving, not channeling, because you can hear what you say.


With some part of you your will is aware, your will wills, and so indeed there is an awareness and a sense of responsibility, but it is not your kingdom to promote alone, the power is not yours alone, the glory is not yours singularly, nor is the work your burden only. We are family. We are children of our Father, Mother. We rejoice in the relationship that we share.


It pleases me, Erata, that you have found your voice, so to speak. More accurately, that you have allowed yourself to avail yourself that we have found your voice. We are all ears, my friend, and would like to hear your teacher, if you are willing. Are you comfortable?


Erata:              Yes.


TOMAS :       We will hold ourselves, then, in abeyance of your joyful noise unto our Lord.


TEACHER:    Good evening.

Group:            Good evening.


TEACHER:    It is good that we are all together. As Tomas has said: family. All of us one. One body. Our purpose is to serve God's will, do what the Father wishes. It is difficult to do that sometimes, but if you can focus on doing the Father's will, it will be for all humans. The Father wants love for all his people. He wants you to be the light. Be one with Him.


I know it is difficult. Your world is full of interferences. Sometimes your focus is off. So what the Father says is true: to be still. When you go into the stillness, then you can refresh yourself, and to go into the stillness does not take much time. You may find all kinds of places where you can find the stillness. You can be in a room full of people and still be still.


If you can, develop the mastery of blocking things out. You know, like your husband might do when you tell him to do something and he doesn't hear you? Or something like that from your kids? You ask them to do something and they don't even acknowledge that you are talking to them! So, as others have been able to go into the quiet, into their own little worlds, pretty much, you can focus on the Father. If you go within yourself, go inside, go into the kingdom, you will find yourself because the kingdom is within.


Love one another. Treat each other as you would want to be treated. That is one of the things that must be done. If you do that, then you do the Father's will. There are other ways that you can do the Father's will. Little things. Kindness. Time. Give of your treasures, your talents. All of these things, given away, are doing the Father's will.


(Indistinguishable) so when you have troubles, when you become frustrated, don't feel alone. Always remember that He loves you more than anything. He has you in His hands. He has not forgotten you. He never will. You are His child. The Father does for His child much like you do for your own. You do for them what is best for them. Sometimes trials that we face are His longings for us. (Indistinguishable) What you go through builds your character, your stamina, your patience, your love. Makes you see people, issues, understand in love, and you have other strength.


You are as a parent and (indistinguishable) and you can do those things, and when they ask you, just tell them: "Because the Father loves me. The Father always loves me." It is the only way you can do things, is to allow the Father to help you. Just as, if you were a child learning to ride a bicycle. Who helped you to ride? Your father. Did your father let you fall? No, he would be there to catch you before you hit the ground, just to protect you.


See the way the life goes, you think you are going to really suffer. He will always teach you and love you, hug you and play with you, as we are his children, and he loves you so much. The love that he gives you, he wants you to give to others. Perhaps you could be there to catch a friend who really needs your help.


There's all kinds of ways to do the Father's will. It is really a growing thing. You could spend your day, all day, doing the Father's will. So many people need Father's help; they may need to see you because you share His light. He loves you so. There is not one word in your language that tells you how much the Father loves his children, to the enth. So when you ask the Father for help, he will give it to you. Sometimes you don't always get what you want but take what the Father gives you because for some reason it will help you become closer to Him.  Does anyone have any questions?


Gerdean:        I would like you to talk about something. I don't know if it's a question, but I would like to hear you talk about forgiveness.


TEACHER:    Forgiveness?  Sure.


In the Bible it talks about Jesus hanging on the cross. The one prisoner hanging on one side (indistinguishable). The prisoner on the other side stuck up for Jesus, and Jesus invited him into his kingdom. He accepted him for who he was. He looked at his soul, his spirit within him, and forgave him. He didn't know what he did. I don't even think the Bible tells you what he did, but some­times the problems that we face, block us. We don't want to forgive because someone did this or someone did that, and that puts up a blinder. If you look to the person as a child of God without the problems in between you, from a deep love, you are the attribute of love.


(Indistinguishable) a child of God. Because we all want family. A family should be for the family. To love them no matter who they are, because there is something special about them, you see. I know it might be hard to erase the troubles between a person, a brick wall maybe, maybe something even higher, but if you ask the Father to help you tear down that wall, he will help you. It might take some time, but you will have the forgiveness, and then you will be touched. You will be very refreshed. You will be able to love another, even if they have hurt you, just to be able to love them, just take down the wall because that's the only barrier between loving you and another one. Do you understand?


Gerdean:        Yes.


TEACHER:    It is very difficult, because sometimes the problems that caused the ... injury, maybe ... are so deep. Very deep. Yet it will take time. The person that has to be forgiven sometimes is not receptive be forgiven, and then there is another barrier. It is almost as if you have two barriers. One between you and them; and one between them and you. So sometimes you have to pray and you have to wait. In your heart you can forgive them, and perhaps caress them without really touching them. Caress them in your heart.


Perhaps that will help. And then there are sometimes when you just can't get close to a person, but if you keep them in your heart and forgive them there, perhaps that will help you in time to come.  Does that help?


Gerdean:        Very interesting.  Good words.  Thank you.

TEACHER:    You are welcome.  Does anyone else have a question?

Hunnah:          Will you come again?

TEACHER:    Absolutely.


Hunnah:          You have been most appreciated this evening.  You are a very tender and loving touch.


TEACHER:    All of you are gentle in your way and you are cherished by all of us in the Teaching Mission. But of course we learned all that from the Father, so there you have it! He taught us and we teach you.


Hunnah:          The simplicity of your message this evening will be ... milk to the child.  Very nourishing.  Thank you.


TEACHER:    You are welcome.

TOMAS:        Merium, would you like to tuck in our children?


MERIUM:     Well, I have just enjoyed this so much, and it is children that will be able to hear this message from this guest that we have this evening because it will be children who will be allowed to read it, children in the human sense as well. There is a lack of sophistication in this gentle message that will be most endearing and I wish you all well and I hope you will all consider yourselves released from the shackles of the recent episodes and you will be renewed and be of good cheer.


Gerdean, we hope that you will bring home bushels and bushels and bushels of the fresh manna for us and that you will have a wonderful time.


Gerdean:        I hope so, too.

MERIUM:     Our regards to Jude.

Gerdean:        I'll tell him.

MERIUM:     Thank you all.


TOMAS:        I would like to say one thing further in terms of this upcoming event in Idaho, this Teaching Mission conference. I am going to be there in company with my peers in great rejoicing, and yet in good work, for these are productive events, productive of great spirit fruit, great human evolution. These are invigorating events and we focus our attention ambitiously on these enterpris­ing trysts, but think not that you are alone here.


We are not away from you, even though we are engaged. Always are there midwayers. Always are the teachers available if you call on us. Always is Michael available to you, in particular through his Spirit of Truth, and ever is our Father indwelling you and in response to your slightest flicker. Angels on high work with you. You cannot fully know and appreciate how much help you have. You \ in your finite senses are not even half cognizant of how much help; is truly at hand. It is wonderful when you reach up and reach out; and recognize that we are here, we are your companions in truth.


Merium, I will let you be the Master of Ceremonies at the Pittsburgh group on Thursday but I will attend through you, Hunnah, if you should be so willing; otherwise, my beloved flock, I am your loyal friend and teacher, Tomas.  See you soon.


Group:  Thank you.




DATE:                        July 7, 1998

LOCATION:              Butler, PA, USA

T/R’s:                         Erata (for Will), Gerdean (for Tomas), Hunnah (for Merium)



Listen With Your Heart


Erata:              I feel like my head is being blown off my shoulders.


WILL: It is good to be here. Everyone had nice stories to tell and to share and to be together. It is good we are together this evening, including Bridey (a dog) who likes to be here also.


Hunnah:          Have you been here before?

WILL: Yes, I have.  Many, many times.

Hunnah:          Well, welcome aboard.


WILL: I am not sure what lesson I am to teach.  I just wanted to let you know that I was here.


Hunnah:          May I ask a question?

WILL: Urn-hum.


Hunnah:          Is the energy that is coming, that is bringing you in, can it be modified for Erata's comfort?


WILL: I think that we could try to do that.

Hunnah:          Is it because it is new for her?


WILL: Yes, I believe so.  I almost knocked her head off her shoulders coming in today.


Hunnah:          Has this anything to do with her anatomy? Or is it just that the configuration is new to her?


WILL: I believe it is a combination of the strength that's in this room and also my presence. It's settling down now. I think she's more comfortable. It's not as strong.


Hunnah:          Are you the story teller?

WILL: Yes, I am.

Hunnah:          Is this something that can be carried through for young people?  Could we do something with it?


WILL: Absolutely!

Hunnah:          Did you have that in mind?


WILL: I believe it is easier to teach a child so that they can progress, although sometimes the adult needs to be taught as simply as a child as well, in order for them to grasp onto the ideas in a simpler way. I believe that sometimes we do things too complicated in this world when sometimes it could be just truly very simple.


People have a tendency to look at an item and try to dissect it when they need to look at the item just for its total beauty. Everyone is always too busy criticizing it or trying to pick apart things, so when you want to teach someone, the simpler you can teach them, the easier it is for them to grasp and to understand and then they can build on to that.


Hunnah:          This frustrates the sophisticated who have not dropped into the heart level of listening and it appears to be juvenile to them, but the energy and the blessing is there.


WILL: Well, did not the Christ say, "Come to me, little children," and so that is where I come from, something very simple. Not so difficult or detailed; no big words or fancy descriptions -- just analogies or stories that, much like a parable in Christ's time when he taught the people, so that they could understand -- that is where I come from, something very simple as that.


Leah:              Will you tell us adult children a story?


WILL: What kind of story would you like to have?  What subject? Or what topic? Or what do you need to know?  What do you want to know?


Iyana:             Is this a conversation between Wheat and Jasmine?

WILL: No, it is between me and all of you.  What would you like to talk about?


Hunnah:          I have a question. Perhaps this is not appropriate, but we were talking this evening about those on earth who are bringing in powerful energies and messages and they use a channeling technique. Is this all part of the same wake-up call?


WILL: Absolutely. It is something that is done in different ways, that is all. You know, like in different kinds of music? One might be rap and one might be elevator music. It gets the message across in just another way. It's similar.


Hunnah:          Part of the banquet.


WILL: Yes. It's a variety of ways. It doesn't always have to be done one way, does it? As long as the job gets done. And that's what we're here to do, is a job.


Hunnah:          My friend calls it speaking in tongues.

WILL: I believe that is true.  I also believe that.


Leah:              Well, what about a story about, like an analogy about us coming to this group and how we affect other people. Do we affect other people aside from other people in the group?


WILL: Everyone you touch and see, you affect. Just your presence.

Leah:              Can you tell us a little story about that?


WILL: An example. Say you're in the store and there is a little old lady and she is looking for something and you have all the time in the world to live and you see that she looks puzzled because she can't find something, so you stop to help her. You say, "What can I do for you? You look like you're looking for something. Can I help?" and you proceed to do just that, and when you walk away, she feels like she's been touched by an angel. So you see? It's something as simple as that.


Leah:              I'm going to go look for all the old ladies in the supermarket tomorrow. WILL: It wouldn't be hard, would it?  No.  It wouldn't be hard to do that.


Hunnah:          But it's the interpretation. She interpreted the act of kindness, as they say today, "Touched by an angel" but it is the recognition of the kindness that resonates in them.


WILL: And she goes away feeling as if someone cared. Isn't that what our work is about? We need to find more people that care. More people that can help each other. Those kinds of things. A simple act of stopping. Erata used to call it "random acts of Christian kindness."


Hunnah:          And if you were Muslim, it would be random acts of Muslim kindness, right?


WILL: There you have it.  Different name, same thing.

Iyana:             Harassment.


Hunnah:          Harassment!  You're going to be the little old lady that they're going to pass up!


Iyana:             I can get it myself.

Hunnah:          Buzz off.

WILL:             Well, then you lose.

Iyana:             That's right.


WILL:             You lose, because everyone should be open to that. Everyone should be open to allowing someone to do something for them because why not allow a person to do for them?


Hunnah:          You're talking about the application of the lesson. You sound a lot like Merium. It is a lot like "keep it simple" manner of your delivery. It is so natural, it is like Erata's children stated, "That's just you, Mum," but she is the instrument, and as we have been reassured that this is not uncommon.


WILL:             It's enlightenment.

Hunnah:          Yes.


WILL:             Try not to put your light underneath a box so that all can see because if you are going to be a light, why hide it? So many people are afraid to show themselves, or are too busy to show themselves, or don't take time to show themselves, and then they lose too because you should always take the time to show yourself because in the long run you will be repaid a hundred fold, if you take the time.


Even if you are rushed. Sometimes you are so rushed to get some­thing done, trying to get home, or trying to get a job done, and things always seem not to go quite right when you're rushed, so slow yourself down, take the extra time, and in time you will be rewarded because usually that extra time you take is with someone, for someone, and then maybe sometimes you will be rewarded because you are not so flustered.


Hunnah:          One of the things (since no one is speaking up) that we find very painful is the resistance, and it isn't that we are selling anything or preaching, but you can just feel their energy like a wall or like armor and when I am with someone who is open and receptive there is a flow. When you are with people who are very worldly, locked in, it's just like a barrier.


We have a talk about boundaries, and that emotional barrier is like a boundary and a simple lesson falls inert at their feet, even though it isn't delivered like a lesson. Does that just seem to come back to us, to be redelivered at another time, I guess?


WILL:             Sometimes when that happens, even though you don't realize it, you gain an inch. Maybe the next time a couple more inches. Each time you run into a situation such as that, be persistent, gently persistent, and perhaps in time, and again if that doesn't happen, at least you will know that you were able to show your light.


So don't think that you have to conquer every situation, for you will not. There are some that will resist unto their death, but for your part, show your light as best you can, knowing that you are doing the Father's will, and if the person that you want to receive does not accept it, that is okay. You did your job and you did it well. You do not buckle under; you just continue on. It will build your strength and character as well, knowing that you tried. You may not succeed but its okay because you don't always have to win. The Father knows you're winning because he sees your efforts. Do you understand?


Hunnah:          Beautiful.

Leah:              How can one be gently persistent?


WILL:             Well, I liken it to the soft touch. Sometimes a person is resistant because they have pain themselves. You just have to use a simpler touch. That's what they crave the most, and a lot of times they don't get that touch.


Hunnah:          May I share something at this point?

WILL:             Yes you may.


Hunnah:          We have a powerful personality visiting us right now (the eldest son) who has his own preferences dealing with enlightened teaching, and I have put my hands on his back and I could feel this boi-n-g-g-g! A bouncing off. It isn't conscious. It's something that's built up in that energy field that they carry around with them, so in the course of our conversation, I ended up rubbing his feet, which he likes -- really likes -- so there is always another way around.


I did not do any of this with the intention of "changing him". I did it because I wanted to be with him, and it is wonderful that you have another, without even thought, rerouted and not be chased away, but just to simply reroute it and without thought come in from another direction. It's very nice. I guess you're more aware if you look at it after the fact. In hindsight, it's comforting.


WILL:             You just took a detour.  That's all.

Hunnah:          That's right.


WILL:             Absolutely.  And when you become more in tune with the Father's will and his way, you will be able to perceive directions on how you may approach a person.  It comes with experience and knowledge.


Iyana:             I think Tomas is really relaxing in his easy chair.

Hunnah:          She, Gerdean, is in a nice space.

WILL:             Any other questions?

Hunnah:          Yes, I'm going to interview you some more, if I may.

WILL:             Sure.


Hunnah:          Before I really realized I was receiving a wake up call, in my journaling I had an appreciation where I had been touched many, many, many times -- I use the word touched -- by the simplest truth-filled individuals that were, perhaps, with me very briefly but it all accumulated. This consistency accumulated unto the point where suddenly it was like the plant that was attended to and then suddenly it was my time to be awakened, it would appear, to be consciously wakened. So when you said to touch in return, that really means a lot, and others will come in and pick up where you leave off. That's what I was trying to say. Many people are involved and don't even know it.


WILL:             Yes, many people. As each one of you go out, you will never know how many people you do touch, but it will all come back to you in time for your responsibility is to do your Father's will and to advance out and to go out. Even by your simple presence alone with people will bring them to the Father because they see your love and your kindness and your goodness as if you were truly a lamplight unto the Father and they will want to be with you, you see, and then you will be able to show them more and to care for them and to love them, even at a distance, for people will admire you and want to be like you and they will question you. They will ask you things. What makes you tick. You've heard that before.


People with any kind of endurance, when anyone has gone through any kind of a hardship, people will want to know, "how did you do it?" and the correct answer is because of the Father's will. He has helped me through it, and so whenever you go out and endure some of the things you have had to endure, people will respond to you and the answer will be, "because the Father has helped me. Would you like to know more?"




TOMAS (Gerdean):    I am going to utilize the same entrée and say my head will explode unless I can greet you and expose myself to you as your loving friend. I am amused by you, my flock, and I am grateful to our visiting teacher who has, as a child herself, of Michael and Nebadonia, given you food for thought and sustenance in the spirit. Indeed, her simple purity is in keeping with childlike faith, that which will nourish you, indeed, throughout your eternal career.


I would like to be formal a few moments, if you will, and give you one of my lectures. That is to say, I would like to begin with a quiz. How many of you can recall the name of the woman at the well?


Leah:              Nalda?


TOMAS:        Nalda.   And is anyone in remembrance what technique it was that Jesus addressed?


Iyana:             Would you repeat that please?


TOMAS:        Nalda had a technique, a behavior technique, that she used in her life and Jesus addressed this behavior technique when he spoke to her. Do you recall what it was?


Hunnah:          Unworthiness.

Leah:              Did she sleep with other men?

Hunnah:          No, I don't think so.

Leah:              No, that was Magdalene.

Liana:             Didn't Jesus lecture her something about her husband?

Iyana:             No, but she was flirtatious.


Leah:              She offered him a drink of water but she was also asking him about the right way to worship God.  Like what was the right way.


TOMAS:        Good, Leah. You are on the track. I will by-pass her morals for the moment and go to her real difficulty and that is the difficulty that she shares with many, including each of you on occasion, and that is to sidestep the issue of true reality in favor of a philosophic approach. And you will notice that I myself am guilty of that technique, but as a teacher I am excused.


Hunnah:          Can you give us an example?


TOMAS:        Nalda, when confronted with a focus of herself on her true reality/on her relationship to the First Source and Center, thought to divert the Master and herself by inquiring about/as to other things, as how to worship, or where to worship, or this worship in comparison to others. She sought an intellectual response, and Jesus pulled her back from her intellectual meanderings to the truth of her being, much like our Visitor this evening has done in bringing you to the simple truth of your own sonship/ daughtership with living reality.


And yet I tell you, my students and my friends, that this is not mere story-telling. This is reality. It is a clever thought process to think that it is only required of you to perceive the Father in company with others. But truly you need to learn to focus on this reality even apart by yourself and even in amongst your enemies. It is a discipline.


Earlier I heard you tell your stories and I am mindful of my son's story about focus, and indeed it is a true challenge to learn to focus your mind. It is an act of will. I remember a discourse I had, in fact, with our friend Evangel who has a keen appreciation of Nalda's technique and that many use to side-step reality.


Let me bring to your mind an analogy of the key. Remember Jesus said that he is the key. If you have the key you can open the door; it's much like having a combination lock, and when you know the combination, you can unlock it without difficulty. You can hear it spring open. You can open the bar, the door, into the sunlight of the spirit.


This is the lesson of Nalda, that if you are fearless, if you are not afraid to turn the key in the lock, you will be face to face with the living God, with your reality in it, and yet so many dance around this reality in fear of the authority of God. Yet, as we have seen this evening, and as you know deep within your heart, this clarity, this focus is the saving grace, the one reality which will hold your focus beyond all other diversions, distractions, arguments, disillusionments and so forth.


At first you may feel afraid because it requires that you set aside your ego. You must face God squarely and give him recognition. Once you have given him full recognition and full reign, then you begin to know who you are and where you are in His universe, but only after you have been able to look Him in the eye, so to speak, after you have stopped skirting the issue and dancing around from one intellectual approach or philosophic approach after the other.


These diversionary tactics are time-consuming and energy draining. They are diversions from the Way. And yet it is a diversion that every mortal makes until such time as he or she turns the key in the lock and says, "Let me in." Your Master has suggested that if you knock, he will answer, and so he shall. And you will see.


It has been an interesting week indeed and I am glad of the developments in our community here as well as the developments in the community at large. Merium, are you on-line also?


MERIUM (Hunnah):  I am available.


TOMAS:        I want to commend your popularity in the group in Bogus Basin. Your debut is memorable and it gives me great joy to be in association with you as well as our new member. I am eager to observe all of you attend to this most intriguing possibility in your own (tape turned).


As you learn to tap into your personal teachers, your guides, you begin to realize that the face of God is smiling on you and not frowning. You begin to feel comfortable in the living water. You begin to appreciate how it is that you are accepted and loved as you are and as you are assisted in any growth process that comes along. In your ascension you are assisted always. Are there questions?


MERIUM:     I wish to comment. I'll always comment. While I was listening to your discussions prior to the transmitter/receiver session, I wanted to remind you all of during the course of your catch-up about what you have been about in the world, that I would like you to include one conscious awareness of being in touch with your reality teaching, being in touch with your teacher, pausing before you speak or act.


It was to be included in your sharing and it is true it sounds like the Perils of Pauline or Dear Abby and it is natural because you were out living in this contrasting experience, but I would like to have you all make an effort to identify "where cometh your help" and this is not at all a scolding but a reminder that this was one of the purposes of sharing before a T/R session. Thank you.


Have any of you tried toning or doing any transmitting/receiving in your privacy? I know some of you have very full lives, such as our little friend over there who is moving up to the East Side, as they say. No?


Fraline:           I can't find my pen and paper.

MERIUM:     Is that your long-term goal?

Fraline:           Yes, it is, really.

MERIUM:     You will have a treasure hunt.


WILL:             Just get a tape recorder. That is what Erata did. It takes too much energy to write teaching, to keep track of what is being said or thought. It's much, much easier to tape it and then listen back to what is said to you. Then you can keep a record of it, for sometimes when you play it back, it's like you never heard it before because when you were talking, it seems the thoughts go out into the air and then you have to catch it on the tape recorder.


Fraline            That's a very good idea. If you can find a tape recorder.


TOMAS:        Remember Nalda. Do not use this as an intellectual diversion, for it costs nothing to talk to the Father. It takes only a few moments practice each day, looking into the face of perfection, to perfect the technique of accepting yourself as a child of God and learning to listen to his voice.


WILL:             Well said, Tomas. The Father will praise you for all that you do. He does not have a habit of scolding. But this is good. Doesn't a child like to hear praise from his father? Acceptance? That alone gives you energy to do more, because when you are doing the Father's will, doesn't the child in you want to beam about and kind of frolic into play? When they know they are being accepted?


Father has such a love for everyone, and when you know that you are loved, you can do just about anything. That is what we teach: the love of the Father for you, so that you can pass on that love of the Father to another. And as you do that, as I said before, it comes back to you. That is what this is all about: Love; love for the Father; love for the individual; love for mankind because man­kind has had so many troubles knowing what real love is. Love is a gift, given freely, passed from one to another, and when that happens, there will be more unity on Urantia. It will be an ava­lanche coming down the hillside and all at the bottom becomes one.


Fraline:           How do you teach your children love in the face of constant negativity? Not so much from myself but from others around.


WILL:             Well, there is a time to possibly keep the children secluded for awhile if the negativity in a situation becomes such that it is really causing some irritation amongst you. It is necessary to separate yourself again and then in a private time, tell the individual that if they are going to continue in that fashion, then you will be not visiting or being around them as often because you are trying to love your children and teach them and if they do not love your children, then you would really prefer to have them away from them.


It might be you that needs to teach the individuals who cause that distress to you, the will of the Father. Perhaps you could do that by yourself and keep the children separated. Perhaps. That is one suggestion. The other would be to extend the gentle hand. Now if you have more adversity and the person is not willing to accept what you have to offer, as far as doing the will of the Father and lovingly extending that, then you have gone to the enth, then you have done the Father's will. There is really no loss that they are not around you and your children.


Your children will see also that example. If you call to mind, children are quite bright. They know what is right and what is wrong, if their parents have shown them and they will know that negative behavior and they will also not want to be exposed to that kind of treatment. And you can explain it to them, as you are a gentle mother. You can sit with your children and talk with them and explain to them, perhaps, that so-and-so is irritable and their behavior is not acceptable, but you still love that individual.


After a time you can expose them, but if the situation lingers, and it becomes irritating and causes some grief, then you separate again. Perhaps you could teach your children that because as teachers they will also be exposed to the same. Unless society does a drastic turn-around, it will be a problem they will face their whole life. So if you teach them in a younger stage how to deal with it, from your adult aspect, then they will also know how to deal with it when they have to deal with it on their own in an adult situation. Do you understand what I am trying to explain?


Fraline:           Uh-huh.  I do.


TOMAS:        You might reinforce your affection for your children and include them in a prayerful session, a talk with the Father at the end of the day or in a quiet time of your own create a sanctuary for yourself and your children wherein you can discuss these matters and these distressing incidents or individuals and ask Jesus to help you clarify your affections so that you may deal wisely with the situation, with his guidance. Children love to bond with their elders in this kind of loving way. It teaches them that it's okay to be sincere and genuine and spiritual.


WILL: That's beautiful, Tomas.

TOMAS:        Thank you, teacher.  You also are beautiful.

WILL: It is good to be here.  I'm so glad I was invited.


Fraline:           I would like to help you both with that. I feel that I have been getting the assistance that I need. I just didn't recognize it, because these are the ways I've been trying to handle the unwanted situation.


WILL:             It is wonderful to have you here.  We are glad you are back. We have missed you, you know,


Fraline:           I've missed you all too.


MERIUM:     I would like to speak about human habits. They are like prevailing winds, and it is, as it has been said before, as easy to learn good habits as it is to learn bad ones, and frequently as you journey out of this gnarl of habits, you will find distress because the strain of leaving the old groove takes its toll because you are torn in two directions, so you will have to stop frequently and see what the situation is, for what it is.


If you have not had a life with a schedule or a routine, children suffer from it. They need a routine and they need standards that are held, and held closely, and shown why. Frequently children resist nothing original. Hunnah was reading a Parent magazine recently and this knowledge has remained with her, and in her own experience of parenting, the contrast today is very sharp. Children today do not have a routine; they do not go to bed at a time; they do not eat at a time; it is not a sit-down sharing time. Everyone is living on the run and it tells them a message that states, "This isn't important" when it's quite the contrary. It is very important.


This is something that can be discussed among yourselves and you can draw up your family's new routine and take pride in the fact that you find that you are worthy and important enough to have a routine, that does not keep you from being flexible, but that is helpful, both emotionally and physically.


I encourage everyone here to adhere to good habits, whether it is the literature they read, the company they keep, their food or their conferences. There are many things that need to be addressed and you will find that their hardships can be released by simply fumigating your standards. I say this as if it was some form of ultimatum, but I mean it most generously and with empathy because as I said there are painful habits, so I hope you will approach your lives as a treasure and you will design a safe keeping for it, a safety net you will elevate. This is our life together; this is the way you live. These are the standards in this home.


And I will be free to say, since there are two single parents here, the importance of stating, "I have a responsibility to my heavenly Father and I must make this decision for you this way. You will understand later." There will be many dynamics that can be involved and opportunities for responsibility and acceptance in your families. Please feel free to consult your teachers and ask for help. It is available.


I want you to remember that your children have teachers, too, so it is indeed a larger family than you realize and there are male counterparts involved, so if you are a male sitting here with a responsibility of children, I would be reminding you that there is feminine attendance available. You simply have to be willing to let it resonate within you and be delivered in an appropriate manner. I hope this will help and give you some new thoughts and ideas. I am sure if you act upon it, it will bring a great satisfaction to you.


I am talking about responsibility and you were talking about allowing ourselves to keep life simple. I would like to address the care of animals. They are like toys in a toy box. You can acquire them and then as the world becomes fascinating, you become distracted and they can become neglected. Animals are a wonderful opportunity to teach responsibility.


I am not just talking to you who are seasoned; I am talking to the world at large in addressing this, this evening, and in the future I will continue to address this, to be responsible with all living creatures. This is, in spite of appearances, an on-going discourse for the reverence of all life. I hope you will let yourself keep it in your periphery, in your daily experiences, because this is all part of the Father's creation and all living creatures are to be embraced.


TOMAS:        This is a particularly sensitive point when you consider that so many of Urantia's children are of a low-grade mentality and cannot keep up with many of the intellectual discourses and concepts of the more advanced and acute minds. It is, as it says in Desiderata, wise to accept "even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story". It is a reminder, perhaps, to you that two of the apostles were what you might call "slow".


They were simple, and even though they often slept through the Master's lectures, they were diligent workers in the field and they were honored throughout the balance of their life to have been part of his ministry, and so in your kingdom-building, do not neglect those who are dull and ignorant for they too have their story, and remember that "the common man heard him gladly."


I would like to indicate for the record that our visiting teacher this evening is teacher Will from the Tallahassee group and all of you have heard from her by and through the auspices of the Melchizedek schools. Teacher Will has been teaching for many years, and her message of "random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty" have markedly influenced the community of Tallahassee. Her guidance and direction in her Teacher Base there has markedly impacted the students that she knows personally and we are most honored to have her on-line with us here this evening.




DATE:                        July 14, 1998

LOCATION:              Butler, PA, USA

T/R’s:                         Erata, Gerdean,  Hunnah



"Act As If" Practice Session


DHARMA, a personal teacher, greeted us and led us in a game called "Act As If" to induce a T/R practice session. Leah brought through JAY-ORZH. Other players included Erata and Fraline.


TEACHER (Hunnah):             At last. Everyone is rattling their script. It is good to know that you are willing. This is such an important ingredient in the transmission experience. The more you allow yourself to be quiet and meditative at home, the more your preparation to transmit will be complete. I am pleased to see that shyness is no longer an issue.


Here you are in this little community on the map and all over the world there are those very much like you who are experiencing, in their own natural way, holy communion. Their simplistic prayers are developing in a way that they are not aware. It is the intention to serve that is important. If I was to ask you today how it was with you, did you honor your Father, the Source and Center, would you be able to speak in the affirmative?


Leah:              Yes.


TEACHER:    There was a day when this would not even have occurred to you. I hope that you are all able to see the growth, to feel the ease and the security that is developing within you.


Gerdean:        May I remark? I am aware that I have grown and that my faith has grown and that the Father is an integral part of my life, and joyously so, but I want to give thanks, too, to my co-workers in the field, my fellow believers in the spirit and the flesh because they have reinforced me, they have stood behind me, they have assured me that I'm not crazy, they have encouraged me to stand up in my faith, and I am very glad for their support. I don't think I could do this by myself.


TEACHER:    Being positive about your faith, my dear, is most important to you in a personal, intimate way. Having it explained to others externally is a blessing for you. What is really important is that this filter for your fine mind is allowed to serve you so that you will be ever more appropriate. You have done a splendid job. It is most becoming.


Gerdean:        You are very gracious. You don't sound to me as if you are "acting as if". You sound very genuine.


TEACHER:    Indeed, I am sincere. I am pleased at all of you. Hunnah has heard you all expound upon the satisfaction and the sense of fulfillment that has entered your experience. In other words, you are dining at the right table. You are sons and daughters of a kingdom of perfection and your demeanor will be effortlessly expressed, signifying the refined choice. Choose ye this day whom you shall serve, and it has become more and more evident that you have made your decision.


Gerdean:        Let me ask a question, and this is in my ministry, which is somewhat of a street ministry, and which involves a lot of people that are not real bright. Now I know that the Father doesn't care how intelligent we are; that's not a prerequisite for sonship, and I'm not suggesting that I might be casting my pearls before swine, but I'm a little concerned about, well...


I just act as if everyone is indwelt with God. I figure that's the safe thing to do is just treat everyone as if they have a Thought Adjuster and that they're capable of making those decisions that will forward their spiritual nature, that will see them into the Kingdom. But frankly, I deal with a lot of people I doubt have the capacity to make those decisions.


I'm not certain what kind of counsel I'm asking for here or if even it's appropriate to ask such a question, but it seems to me that the Master, who could see so much better than I can see, would be able to ascertain if this person were receptive to the seeds that he sowed, and I don't want to waste time being kind, considerate, attentive, loyal, patient, etc, to those who aren't even aware of anything. You know what I mean?


TEACHER:                You have said a great deal and have said it well, and first of all we tell you that you need not trouble yourself as to the degree of their absorbency, and even if you were to speak to someone who has an intelligence of (we speak in numbers here) 50, would you not benefit from the act of compassion and mercy? And you are also going to find that you are going to be dealing with people without the slightest tendency to think you are adding to them or improving. There will be no discrimination on your part. You will be developing a greater tenderness, a greater tolerance, a finer capacity to speak appropriately to those who come to you.


Would a flower look up at a face that was admiring it and say any­thing? Is it not enough that you are simply together? And that you are connected in the honorable act of knowing who you are? Is that not a sufficiency to the situation?


I want to share something with you. Hunnah had the pleasure of meeting a woman from another country who said that she returned from a month in China. She said, had it not been for her faith in her teaching of "judge not" that she would have been most disappointed in her trip because the overwhelming poverty and lack of material comfort would have spoiled her visit, but she said, "I found myself in a state of resting and peaceful observation."


Is it not sometimes when you are with someone who is most unlike yourself time to simply relax and enter this poise of resting and allowing the greatness that throngs about you all to have its way? It is not necessary to feel that you are laboring in the fields. Sometimes you are simply there to mingle, to just be together. If you live and work in an area where there is much poverty, then remember that that poverty is the birthplace of hope for something better. It frequently appears to be buried in utter despair and having someone judge the situation is not an act of upliftment.


You are here for a reason, and as you flower (and, my dear, you are a flower), many will come to you not out of any reason to know why. They will simply want to be here for a bit in your presence, a drink of energy, you might say, unconsciously dipping their ladle that they do not even know they contain, filling it and going away, even if it is of what we would consider here a miniscule size, but it is a sufficiency for them at the time.


Judgement is very draining. Even intelligent evaluation is not necessary under many situations. Look around this room. You will find a variety of backgrounds and you have managed to find the common link, that cell that radiates and pulsates in acceptance toward one another. I am glad you brought this up because "Getting to know you, getting to know all about you," is exactly what this is all about.


We are so pleased here with the way you have reached out in improving each other. It does not need to be a 24-hour contact; it simply means that you have relaxed and allowed yourself to be affectionate and understanding and supportive right under the nose of intelligence and you are never kicked out of the room. Intelligence has its place; theory is necessary.


Gerdean:        I want to make a remark. When I speak of intelligence, I'm speaking of not scholarly intelligence. I'm talking about, there is a borderline here where people drop below it and they're not indwelt because they cannot make those decisions that will advance them in the Kingdom. They are sub-normal.


TEACHER:    So is your cat.


Gerdean:        I appreciate that and I am kind to dumb animals, but I don't own some of these people who come into my store, into my environment. I don't have to feed them.


TEACHER:    Who is speaking?

Gerdean:        The proprietress of Serendipity.

TEACHER:    We do not know who she is.

Gerdean:        Well....


TEACHER:    We do not know her anymore than we do Miss Nursey here. We do not know her any more than Archer Anne. These are titles.


Gerdean:        Am I talking to myself?

TEACHER:    You are having a human quandary.

Gerdean:        I'm asking my teacher and you're telling me you don't know who I am!


TEACHER:    I am telling you that the aspect of yourself that is in argument and puzzle and provoked is inconsequential.


Gerdean:        I want it clear that I'm not being a snob.  I know a lot of dumb people and I like them.  That is not the issue.


TEACHER:    Are you applying for a transfer?

Gerdean:        Not right now.

TEACHER:    Rest in the reassurance that the Father is in charge.

Gerdean:        Good.

Leah:              May I make a comment?

TEACHER:    I would welcome your comment.


Leah:              My understanding of the dilemma of people of not normal mind strikes me that people of not normal mind, that could not function, would not find their way into your bookshop.


TEACHER:    In a sense we are talking about the tares.  The tares and the wheat.

Leah:              Will you explain that?


TEACHER:    The responsive and the unresponsive.  The tares and the wheat grow side by side.


Fraline:           Maybe it isn't their intelligence that has gone under the line but just their lack of knowledge and general ignorance.


TEACHER:    There's also a hurting that stunts the growth. You have been concerned about Thought Adjusters. It is true that the best situation would be to have a responsive facility for a Thought Adjuster to have a successful run in the ascension experience. Have you not planted flowers that did not bloom? They were watered anyway. Have you not tended other matters that did not bring you pride and satisfaction? Perhaps they had to be mowed down and thrown into the fire, but because they were available, you were warm. Everything is useful. Everything. Even if it's just to keep the economy going. There is space for the dull and the thick.


And my dear I appreciate your bringing up the subject and I know that you are warm and generous, but humanly, it can become tedious and it is not a rose garden. Every one here can talk about the tedious areas in their life, where they feel they are wasting their time, so when you sense that you feel that way, acknowledge it and say, "Be on your way. I recognize your impatience." It's alright.


Gerdean:        Okay. I appreciate your counsel. I will take what I like and leave the rest, and what I like is that thing about rest. When they're there, just rest. When Hesch comes in and sits in my chair as if he's going to take a nap there, I will just allow him that moment, and if customers come in I will say, "This is God's store. He's in charge. It's okay."


TEACHER:    At one time Hesch stood tall and was clean and shiny and had a wit about him and read about the Father and asked questions and he was a happy man at one time. It is simply appearance, my dear. Consider yourself blessed by his testing. Send him my love. Send him love.


Gerdean:        He knows I love him.  I just don't want him sleeping in my chair.

TEACHER:    He has tested many.

Gerdean:        Okay, I'm done.

TEACHER:    She likes strays.

Gerdean:        I like all of God's children, and even dumb animals.


TEACHER:    I feel as if I am monopolizing the floor this evening. We had many who were speaking up and it was wonderful to have Jay-Orzh enter. It is wonderful to hear you say, "Yes, I will let this happen," and if you do not mind, I am going to pass the baton to my friend Erata here because I am sure they are all holding bakery numbers to speak this evening. Erata?


TEACHER (Erata):     I would like to share a story. It might not be exactly what Gerdean says about the individual who makes a pest of himself. Would that be a good term? Or, just kind of gets in your way? Would that be right? (Yeah) Okay.


Years ago Erata worked for a company, much the same as she works now but this was a small, small company, and there was an indivi­dual in that company who was in a wheelchair and the was the only guy in the office, and every time Erata would come in to go to work, he would wheel himself over to her and talk to her continu­ously. She barely had time to get her work done because of the chatter. There were times when she felt she didn't even want to come into the office because she didn't get any work done because of his constant chatter. Then she realized that she is the only one who talked to him. All day long! So, instead of feeling as if she couldn't go in to face him, when she went in, she welcomed him, and talked to him, and her attitude changed toward him and then she welcomed his visits and was even able to get her work done, even though she was talking with him.


That set her heart on fire because she was able to change her attitude and caress this fellow in a way that he needed caressed from a female because no one else spoke to him. And it was a nice friendship, and even now when Erata sees him at the mall, he stops and talks to her and wants to hug her because of that friendship that they developed because she changed her attitude.


Perhaps you could give this fellow another chair or someplace else, a special place for him…


TEACHER (Hunnah):             And some lemonade.


TEACHER (Erata):                 … in your bookstore. Say, "This is a special place for you. If you want to come and visit, come and sit here" and then you can have your chair back.


TEACHER (Hunnah):             And then he would say, "I'm the king!" Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. [Group laughter]


TEACHER (Erata):                 Perhaps. That frustration will be lessened. If he responds to it, do it; if not, do something else, but we all have our burdens to bear, and perhaps if the attitude was changed as to your responsiveness to him, maybe it wouldn't be such a burden. So what are you guys laughing about, anyway? Don't you want to share?


TEACHER (Hunnah):             Hunnah lost it.


TEACHER (Erata):                 Again? [Group laughter] We all need to laugh about things, don't we? There's so many different kinds of people in this world. Sometimes we just have a difficult time dealing with every different individual personality that is out there.


Gerdean:        I just had an insight, as a matter of fact. Perhaps it's easier to point my finger at someone, like Hesch, who looks so dreadfully scruffy, and single him out as compared to some people who look good and smell good but who are really deplorable. Hesch is really a nice man. He just LOOKS HORRIBLE!


TEACHER (Erata):                 There you have it.

Fraline:           Maybe someone just needs to give him a bath.

Hunnah:          A shave.


TEACHER (Erata):                 Special treatment. Maybe he has not been treated well by individuals as time has gone on or he does not have any friends. I don't know this individual but perhaps a little feminine understanding would be a spark to him to do some things about himself. (Hysterical group laughter) I don't mean a feminine "boy-girl" kind of thing. Maybe a motherly attitude. [Side-splitting hysterical group laughter]


Gerdean:        Could we take an intermission here?




TOMAS:        Greetings. I am your loyal friend, Tomas. I am back with you and Merium also is here. We are resuming our customary configuration in the wake of your most invigorating evening, including myriad exercises in socialization and faith activities. It was good to hear from your personal teachers, in particular Jay-Orzh. Now let us commence with Part II, if you will, and we will not go too late because it is understood you have human concerns, but let me follow up somewhat on this evening's enterprise.


You have heard it said so many times you are inured, but we have come here to teach you to be teachers, and as we listen to your earnest discussions about your peers in your arena and the concerns of the human in league with the instructions and example of our Creator Son when he was here, we are fascinated, intrigued and mightily encouraged that this Kingdom is advancing in your realm, and I will give you credit because your realm is difficult.


I don't remember who it was in your historical culture who said, "Begin with the premise that life is difficult," but there is a lot of truth to that, in particular for the evolving mortal who is cognizant of his or her dual nature. It is a constant exercise in adjustment to grapple with those two very viable, very compelling, and sometimes very opposing realities.


I am reminded of the apostles who were sent out in teams to teach and preach the gospel. As you read this evening, they were sent out and asked to return by such and such a date; whereupon they would eagerly bring to the campfire their many experiences in the field: the challenges they had encountered, the difficulties and the successes, and I see you here this evening, loyal students of truth beauty and goodness, bringing to your peers around this campfire your experiences, your challenges, your frustrations, your work in the field for confirmation and counsel from your fellows in the flesh and in the spirit.


I therefore thank you for your attendance and for your understanding of what is transpiring. For many months, many years even, we have been in the spiritual realms, reassuring you of your reality, as you have sought to do his will, and it is now your privilege and your problem to actually try to do his will in the arena as you find it.


It is also noteworthy that as you struggle with these very complex situations, that you remember the rejoicing that comes from the camaraderie of knowing that your peers work with you in the spirit in their arenas, that what you are experiencing is also experienced by others of faith. Merium, have you commentary for our class?


MERIUM:     No. I would like to remind you that you may approach the subject very lightly, by simply leaving it in your portfolio and when the moment arises, you too will arise. We have talked about this in detail, of course, and looked through the microscope at all these situations, but let me tell you that you are not going to be carrying it like a burden. You will find yourself graciously attending appropriately to the situations as they come to you, and I do not have to add to it because you have done a splendid job of considering your own behavior, prior and afterward. I really don't want to add any more to this, thank you.


TOMAS:        Then let us ask Michael if he will be with us for a moment, in-as-much as we have worked in his fields to feed his sheep. One moment.


MICHAEL:    I embrace you. Peace be upon you. My little shepherds, my little flock, it pleases me to be here and visit with you this evening, in-as-much as you have indeed come in from the fields in order to take stock in your selves in your relationship with your understanding of your purpose in the Kingdom. Your effectiveness. Your righteousness. Your relationships.


You have done well. You have indeed fed the sheep as I have fed you. And now I would ask you to suffer the little children. Remember that it wasn't long ago that you yourself were crawling, crying in the wilderness. Because you now stand upright does not give you permission to forget that you were a toddler, a wee one, and that wee ones will have temper tantrums, they will flail about, they do become confused, they do fear being abandoned, they do demand acknowledgement and attention.


I know, Leah, you are concerned with the phrase of "indiscriminate kindness" but in-as-much as I have asked you to love one another, you cannot fail here in being an emissary of my loving-kindness to my children. You will know. You will be restrained in your heart if and when it would be error to extend my love into a situation that would take undue advantage of you, my child.


You must remember, all of you, that you are sons and daughters of a king. I am your king in this kingdom, but I am your friend and we have had this discussion before. I regard you as my friends because we are co-workers in bringing the light of Our Father to this troubled sphere. Yes, I acknowledge this. My creation is less than perfect.


I have not asked you to do something that I would not do myself, as you have read, as you know, as you have heard, by my life here. My little ones, how I appreciate you; how I truly do smile upon you and how I honor you when you reach to me to walk with you, when you ask me to share the day, for it is in that fond embrace that we can indeed make miracles happen. Miracles of happiness in and for our fellows.


Nebadonia joins me in greeting you, in loving you, encouraging you. Farewell.


WILL (Erata): Good evening. We've had quite an evening, haven't we? A lot of talking, a lot of discussion. You can never go wrong with extending kindness to anyone, whether it be a friend or anyone that's on the street, because the Christ will always extend his kind hand to anyone, no matter what they look like or smell like or act like, because everyone is a child of the Father.


You must look at one with the spiritual eyes, not the human eyes, not the human nose, or the human intelligence. You must look at everyone as if you were looking through the eyes of Christ, then it will be easier for you to care and to extend the kindness that is needed for many. Always go with your heart, not with your psyche, not with your thought, always lead with your heart. Then you will never do anything wrong, because the Christ will always help you. He is always there to guide you.


Many times he sends people to you, just to test you, just to help you learn the lessons you need to learn, to progress to the next stage. I know that you will all agree that since you have been listening, since you have been coming to the meetings, you have all felt the change in your attitude toward many things, toward many situations, things that you have probably had problems with before do not seem quite the problem now. Is that correct? (Yeah) Okay.


So, our Teaching Mission is working. You are always seeing that there is a change in you, and not until you look back at what you have learned, do you really realize what is happening to you, but everyone around you will see that you are learning more and more. The thing is, there will be many people coming to you because they want to know how you know how to behave. They are interested in how you can simply laugh something off, or simply treat something on this earth as not important, when people are always thinking of the human realm.


When you do your things toward the spiritual aspect, then things can be shrugged off easily. The normal human who has not advanced such as you, thinks you're kind of crazy, will think there's something missing because it doesn't bother you. This is where you are important in helping people that have problems with dealing, problems with coping. You might be the light that they need because they want to know why things do not bother you. There are people who have a very short fuse. You might be instrumental in helping them cope.


There are many people that need a gentle hand. You might be instrumental in showing them that there is love and kindness here on this earth. There are many ways that you can show that the Christ lives in you, therefore you see the Christ in them. Are there any questions?


Evangel:        Who is speaking?

WILL:           It is Will.

Group:           Hi, Will.


WILL:             Do you have any problems that you need to discuss or are you all done for the night? Leah needs to carry a pocket dictionary, don't you, so that you can look up all of these words. I might not use the right word. It just comes out.


"Random acts of kindness" -- that's a topic. Random. My defini­tion of random is 'whatever sparks your fancy, whatever leads you, where your heart comes from. Say you have a friend who needs a helping hand or you have a friend you know is lonely, you might send them a card. Just because. That's random, to me. It's "just because". You don't need to have an answer back, you just know that if you send a card to your friend, the day they get that card in the mail, that helps them, and every time your friend thinks about that card you sent them in the mail, that also moves them. You don't even have to know they even received it, and they will remember receiving it far longer than you remember sending it. That's random. Random acts of kindness. Just perchance. Just because.


Gerdean:        At will.


WILL:             Correct. At will. Just because you have the time to do it or the stamp to put it on the envelope or sometimes if you just think of a friend and you just jot them down a note and say "I was thinking of you today. I just thought I'd let you know about it." It costs you two minutes to do it and 32 cents and it makes that person happy today and every time they think about it. You can make them feel good about their friendship with you.


Other things can be done as simply as that. It doesn't cost much to do those random acts of kindness. Maybe just a phone call to a lonely person to let them know you are thinking of them. That is what's known by random, at will.


Leah:              Thank you very much, Will.

WILL:             You're welcome.


Leah:              I think that our discussion was leaning toward, as it says in the book, "indiscriminate kindness" and I guess we were just trying to discern, "What are indiscriminate acts of kindness?'


WILL:             Yes. Well, your language is so -- many meanings for the same word. Different words could be substituted. If you go at will from your heart. How about "acts of kindness from the heart at any given moment."


Leah:              Well those aren't indiscriminate acts, are they?

WILL:             No.

Leah:              Well, that's what we were trying to discern.

WILL:             Indiscriminate.  What did you read in your Book?  What does it say? Leah:                  Indiscriminate acts of kindness sometimes causes social evils.

WILL:             What is the definition of indiscriminate?

Leah:              Random!

WILL:             Not discriminating?  Does it mean that?

Damien:          Thoughtless.  Promiscuous.

WILL:             Thoughtless acts of kindness leading to (Tape ran out)




DATE:                        July 14, 1998

LOCATION:              Butler, PA, USA

T/R’s:                         Gerdean

TEACHER:                AHL

Group:                        Evangel, Damien, Gerdean and Leah




AHL:               I am going to use this vehicle as a method of making contact, my son, my friend. Also I will greet you all here this evening for we are family. We are close family indeed. It is an intimate group. Many similarities there are between and among you here. Much of the same situations that I encounter in Evangel are that which Keith and Trieste and Jay-Orzh and the others also deal with in you. Here it is true that you are all very different but so much the same: the difficulties of the mortal existence are fraught with unfortunate similarities.


I AM Ahl. I AM a personal teacher. I AM in association, if you will, with indwelling Spirit, that is to say, I could not come through in this manner without the permission of the Thought Adjuster of this being whose vocal chords I use. You think it is a mere matter of the human will; that is not necessarily the only consideration. The indwelling Fragment must also grant permission. Indeed Father must smile upon our process in order for it to be effective. This is sensible, is it not? Does this not make sense?


Group:            Yes.


AHL:               Yes. Many times you would engage in activities that Father does not feel are beneficial for you at this time. I will speak even to the process of transmitting/receiving which, for many, is a "dangerous" procedure because of the instability of the mental circuitries, but you may be assured that in order for a genuine transmission to transpire, our Father has granted his permission, he has given his blessing, his sanction on the process.


It is more in keeping with your mortal understanding of how things operate that you would ask that your contact be sanctioned and blessed rather than be a gesture of the infidel. That is to say, you do not want to have your mind invaded by evil forces and I am quick to tell you those influences are done, they are gone, they are no more. Do not buy into it; do not subscribe to it; do not fear it, for it cannot take place any longer. There are no rebel midwayers, angels, spirit beings at large in your universe. Be at peace. Rest.


Even so, our Father knows what's best and sometimes He himself will block the process, so do not assume that it is your failing if you cannot get through, but rather trust that our Father is looking out for your best interests. He is nurturing you in accordance with your deep needs and with his divine plan for you.


My children, I am so happy to be here. It was a fortuitous and momentous occasion to observe Keith make his entry into your spheres by way of the circuits. What a joy it is for us -- you can not imagine -- to be with you when you have made that faith choice and the doors are opened, the connections are made, and we can be manifested in your conscious awareness, for most of our work goes on unnoticed by you. Yes, you do, all of you, ignore your personal teachers. You speak of kindness. Ha! You know nothing of being kind to those of us who wait patiently to work with you on those issues that cause you your greatest distress.


You must understand that we are not assigned to you to make your life difficult. There are others who have that task. Our task is to accept that life has been hard for you and to help you unleash those chains that hold you to misconceptions about your reality, your greater reality. We unleash those tethers that keep you bound to hard fact, not to the truth that is liberating.


We embrace you. You would benefit in your conscious embrace of us. It is understood. It is fully appreciated and yes respected that you are frail. You are vulnerable. And to use the word: wounded. So many of you refuse to believe that you have wounds. So many of you refuse to believe that being is wounded is a viable reality for your experience. In due course you will adopt a new and greater reality, but in order for you to do that, it is necessary that you relinquish your hold on that which holds you back.


That is part of our job. To show you how it is that you hold so tenaciously to that which holds you back. Your angers, your fears, your resentments, your situations requiring forgiveness, requiring a grieving process. It is certainly no wonder that we are not fully embraced because it is true: we engender a range of feeling that are largely avoided in your arenas, and yet without our devo­tion, it is more difficult for you to grapple with these feelings and it takes longer then for you to realize your freedoms and your joys, the supernal blisses that are also in store for you.


This is a process of life. A loving process because of Michael's concern for you. He has experienced your realm. I know there are people who talk about Christ having the ability to give no thought to his leaving Urantia, but do you really believe that he could experience what he experienced and not know how this kind of experience affects the mortal psyche? Do you think that he does not know that his world, which has suffered rebellion and default, has not cast its long shadow upon you, his child? Do you think a loving father would allow you to remain in these cool, damp, dreary days without comfort or hope?


If you feel this, then you do not know the Master, for I have known Him and I am an extension of him. I am one of his creations and I am happy to serve him because he is such love, he has such love, he knows such love, I can do nothing but love him in return, I am so inspired by the love he has shown to me, and this same love that I have graciously accepted from his gracious giving, is that same divine affection that is your birthright, that I ask you to embrace, to take to your heart as your own and as you are constrained from accepting this divine affection, I would help you cut away those scars, those scales, those fissures that stand in the way of that infinite embrace which radiance indeed enlivens and enlightens.


I am a personal teacher. This is our work. I speak for the other personal teachers here present. Beautiful, beautiful, precious fellows. What a privilege it is to be with you. We see you so much like Michelangelo’s "Unfinished Captives" reaching out from the marble that surrounds you, that keeps you encased, but while you remain encased, your muscles stretch, your tendons reach, your sinews pull against the constraints of your mortal existence and your animal heritage. You are truly noble. Semi-civilized, yes, but making good progress, having hearts pure. I embrace you.




DATE:                        July 21, 1998

LOCATION:              Butler, PA, USA

T/R’s:                         Erata (for Pearl); Gerdean (for Tomas)



Anxiety and Disappointment


PEARL:          The Father said, "My peace I give to you". Not the peace of this world, but the peace of My world. This is the goal of all. A child can know peace. A child has a blanket, he goes to his room and he is comforted. He is peaceful; he is snuggled in his bed; he knows that his parents are there and if he needs anything, they are there for him. He is secure.


Is not also peace security in love and oneness, the love and oneness with the Father? If you just look to the Father and know that He is always there, you will have peace. He reaches out to touch you; He never leaves you alone. He is always there to comfort you. He lets you have free knowledge of His presence. Only then will you understand that the peace is always there. He loves each and every one of you and is never away from your side.


You must think of yourself as that child, the blanket as security, that child that goes to his room at night and knows that if he wakes up frightened, the Father is always there. That is what you must understand. He is always there. That is what you must understand. The Father never, ever leaves you. After all, your name is in his hand.


The Father will never allow anything to hurt you. You must always understand the Father provides for you. Even when things do not look the way they should, the Father will always be there for you. You never know how the picture will end because the Father sees the whole tapestry of your life, so every little bit, every little inconvenience that you suffer, will lead to a vindication.


So we must always reach out and take His hand when you feel lonely, when you are frightened, when you do not understand the things that are happening to you. You must always reach for His hand. He will take it and he will hold you and he will protect you. Just like your earthly father protects you, or your earthly mother, the Father will always take you and pull you to his heart and keep you there safe.


You must always be ready to accept that love because it is endless. He will nurture you, He will help you, He will just be there for you. So, when you have problems, you can always talk to Him. You might liken it to a prayer but He will listen to what you have to say, and if you can't speak, you can think it. You can have those messages come from your heart. He will hear you, no matter which way you go to Him in your communication.  He will always understand.


If you acknowledge Him in all you do, in all your fears and all your delights and all your pleasures, that will bring your relationship with the father closer. Just as you have a good friend. The way you make good friends is you make good friends by communicating with them, sharing with them, and finally loving them. That is the point the Father wants you to do for Him. He wants you to be his best friend and to know that he is there to offer any kind of moral, emotional or just plain old loving hugs. He is always there for you.


Sometimes people think that He is not there because they do not see Him. You must look within. Look to the spiritual aspects of your life. Make them your number one. Always think of the Father as number one and then everything will fall into place. You will never be needy; you will always be filled.


That surely is a wonderful God! There are so many lives that He can love all at once. His love is endless and everlasting. When you love the Father you are with the Father and the Father is with you. And that gives a little bit of Paradise here on Earth. You do not have to wait to do the transition into Paradise because Paradise comes to you. The love and the Father is always at your hand.  Does anyone have a comment? Is everyone ready to take their blanket to bed?


Student:         No.  I don't want to go to bed.

PEARL:         What would you like to do?

Student:         I want to stay up always.  I'm afraid to go to bed.  I have bad dreams.

PEARL:         Is this something you can share?  That we can help you?

Student:         I'm afraid of being murdered.

PEARL:         Why is that?

Student:         I'm feeling persecuted.

PEARL:         Why?  You're beautiful!

Student:         That has nothing to do with it.  I still feel that way.

PEARL:         Why?

Student:         It's not rational, perhaps.

PEARL:         Has someone threatened you or hurt you?

Student:         I feel that way.  I wouldn't feel that way by myself.

PEARL:         But you are not by yourself.  The Father is waiting to take your hand.

Student:         I know.

PEARL:         He'll give you both hands.  And arms!


Student:          I know. I'm reminded of ... A couple things, as a matter of fact. One is when Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane and he knew he had to go through this experience and his friends slept and he said, "Can't you be here with me in this experience?" And they couldn't.  And so he prostrated himself and he was given strength to go through what he had to go through.


PEARL:          Yes.


Student:          That's been a big help to me. Even so, I don't want to go through. And another thing that has been coming in my mind is the apostles, after he left, went out not two-and-two, they went out by themselves to teach and preach, and many of them were killed. Crucified upside down. Nathaniel died alone in Africa. I know nobody gets out of this experience alive, but I really don't want to die a violent death. That's why I'm afraid to go to bed.


PEARL:          Do you know that you will always live?


Student:          Yeah! I do know that. I know that! I know that fully, that I will always live in the spirit.  Of course I know that!


PEARL:          Someone must have traumatized you, perhaps, or maybe you're feeling lonely. The fear of being alone. Has this happened before? Perhaps a time when you weren't as close to the father as you are now, and the memory has come back?


Student:          I'm not afraid to be alone. I am spiritual solid enough to find my greatest comfort in my relationship with the father. I am never alone.


PEARL:          Is this a sudden feeling?

Student:          No, this is an insidious thing.

PEARL:          I see.  Have you had it before?

Student:          Uh-huh.

PEARL:          And what did you do then?

Student:          I ran.

PEARL:          You ran.  Like jog ran or ran away from the area?

Student:          Ran.  Fled.  You know "fight or flight"?

PEARL:         Yes.

Student:         I flee.  I'm not strong enough to fight.

PEARL:         You are stronger than you think you are.

Student:         Oh, I know I am, but I still ...

PEARL:         You are powerful.

Student:         ... don't like to get into uncontrolled situations.

PEARL:         Yes.

Student:          Rage is no fun.  I don't want to go there.

PEARL:          Yes.  How do you propose to solve the problem?

Student:          It is a problem I don't know how to resolve. I do give my life to my Father.


PEARL:          And he gives it back to you. It does not help to tell you not to be fearful because it is something that you have to come up with. All I can tell you is that the Father loves you with an everlasting love.


Student:          I know He does.

PEARL:          And that He will be there to protect you.


Student:          I don't know about that, because ... Protect me from what? He did not protect Jesus from the crucifixion.  He did go through it with him,...


PEARL:          Yes.


Student:          So, I'm going to mince words with that "protecting" stuff. One night, as I was approaching the nightmare, I reminded myself, "I am guided and protected." I hung onto that like a rope, like the hem of His garment, because I need my sanity. It was the first time I ever really practiced that. It was the first time I ever gave myself the opportunity to believe that. It's a very clever thing, you know. It's like one of those platitudes that looks good in calligraphy hanging on the wall.


PEARL:          Um-hum


Student:          But even being guided and protected, nothing can happen to the spirit, so it is guided and protected.   It is eternal!  It's guaranteed!


PEARL:          You are afraid to lose your life?  Here on your world?

Student:          Yes.  I don't want to die violently.  I really don't want to die at all.  I would rather fuse.


PEARL:          Well, there's more work to be done then.

Student:          Yes, there is, more work to be done.

PEARL:          But you are on your way.

Student:          I know.

PEARL:         These fearful thoughts, do they happen often?

Student:         No!  It's something new.

PEARL:         Perhaps you should talk to someone that could help you more.

Student:         Yeah.

PEARL:         Because you do not want it to happen often.

Student:         No.


PEARL:          Occasionally people have nightmares, you know, running in place and trying to flee someone he doesn't know, but when they become repetitive, sometimes dreams show us our fears. And so if you have a fear that needs to be coped with, someone may be able to guide you so that you will not suffer those awful nightmares because they are fearful and scary. You know its one thing to die an old person in your bed and another to die at the hand of someone. On the other hand, when you talk about Jesus, he wasn't in fact a martyr. The apostles, the disciples were martyrs. What you talk about is someone choosing to not do the right thing in choosing evil.


Student:          It has something to do with the neighborhood maybe.

PEARL:          Yes.   You are afraid of people that make the wrong choices.

Student:          Yes, I am.

PEARL:          Yes.


Student:          I've talked to the Teachers before about this sort of thing, that minds were not stable or capable of making reasonable spiritual decisions.


PEARL:          Yes.  And so then your mind starts playing games on you also.

Student:          It's a peculiar place to be.


PEARL:          Yes indeed. There are some quite different characters here and it is almost as if you have to second-judge what they are thinking.


Student:          My mind is tired.

PEARL:          Yes.  And therefore then you perpetuate your fears.

Student:          I am weakened.

PEARL:          Yes.

Leah:              What can we do for our sister?


PEARL:          We can love her, but we also have to figure that she needs some time and rest.


Student:          Can I go home with you?

PEARL:          That would be a long trip.

Student:          Well, it's shorter than Mansonia.


PEARL:          Yes.  Yes, but you still have work to do here, but I think that you should try to baby yourself and use your security blanket.  Perhaps you need some time, just for you.  Not to worry about anyone else's needs other than your own.


Student:          I appreciate that.

PEARL:          You know?

Student:          Yes, I certainly do.


PEARL:          Needing to baby yourself with your baby blanket, and take time because your batteries need recharged because you are tired and the more tired you are, the more stress you feel.


Student:          Teacher I appreciate your counsel and your companionship, but I think I would like to change the subject and let someone else carry on.  Even if they would like to get more cheerful, that would be alright with me.


PEARL:          That's okay.  Take care.

Student:          I will do my best, through the Father.


PEARL:          He is here.  Does anyone else have a comment?  [Long pause]  Is there anyone else here?


Group:            Yeah.

PEARL:          Well, what do you have to say?


Leah:              I know that my sister is asking we change the subject but I have to say that I find it disconcerting that she feels on the apex of assault.


PEARL:          Yes.  I think that there have been intruders, you might say, into her arena and she is fearful of them.


Student:          Into my sanctuary!


PEARL:          Yes. And she does not trust any of them, so this first comes out in the fear. Fear is very powerful. It is a very powerful emotion. Not that it's wrong, because it is not. Sometimes fear for things helps us to delight them, you see. I know perhaps that knowing that Father is here is not the answer to them, but it isn't a cross for you to make them. Just remember that he always loves you. This cup shall pass also, but when you see His will be done, just take one day at a time. Sometimes it will be one night at a time because of what you do. If these intruders become a problem, is there not a local?


Student:          It really is important to change the subject and the vibes now.

PEARL:          That is fine.

Student:          Because there is an "intruder" coming.  I'm sorry.

PEARL:          That's okay.

Evangel:         Could we take a break?




TOMAS:        Good evening, my friends.  I am Tomas, your teacher.

Group:            Hi, Tomas.


TOMAS:        It is good to be here with you. It is good to sense your presences, indeed your electro-chemical systems. It is interesting how your electro-chemical composition comprises itself for these on-line circuit sessions, how at peace you become when you focus your mind, body and spirit on the moment at hand in anticipation of the focus of the teacher that presents itself for your edification, enjoyment, entertainment, and so on.


Indeed, we are aware of how much we are a cultural diversion for you from your regular, run-of-the-mill routine existence. Indeed, perhaps you could say that we are the poetry in the commonplace prose of your routine existence, and so it delights-me to be poetic this evening and to embrace you each and all.


I am going to speak to you for a moment on anxiety. It is a part of the human condition. Indeed you may all remember the excerpt from Rodan, since he is fresh in your minds, having to do with worry being a facet of the immature personality. I am not going to overmuch focus on worry, however. I am going to address the mota that "Anxiety must be abandoned. The disappointments hardest to bear are those which never come."


Now some of you have thought already upon this mota.  Some of you have distressed over the apparent glibness of such a suggestion, that abandonment should be the appropriate application of your anxieties, and yet if you look at the second phase of that mota, you will see that the disappointments hardest to bear are those which never come.


Look indeed at what your anxieties are. You are anxious that you will not get that promotion, you will not get that job, you will not get that girl, you will not get what you want, or that something you have will be taken away: your health, your car, your life, your money, your time, your dreams. These are anxiety-inducing in the mortal, and yet you are admonished in the higher regions of the mind to practice the truth of the principle that the disappointments hardest to bear are those which never come.


Well, then, perhaps what we must realize is that many of these things will in fact come to pass but they are not the greatest disappointments. They are fleeting disappointments in time, and in eternity will be well made up for in the growth, in the maturity, in the appreciation of the value assigned to the realization that the disappointments hardest to bear are those which never come.


Let me ask you if you will partake with me and tell me -- sincerely now, don't be glib -- what would be a disappointment for you? Joniel?


Joniel:             If I'd lose my disability I've been applying for, for the last couple of years.


TOMAS:        To lose this asset, a financial boost, a reward for efforts long tended, a relief from financial anxiety, a holiday from want and stressors of survival. Well said. Leah?


Leah:              It would be a disappointment to me if we didn't have these meetings.


TOMAS:        I share your concern there. It is invaluable that you associate with fellow-religionists, and that you not only associate but that you interact and share in a meaningful way. It is different than your association in the material world. How wonderful that you had such a good time on your recent conference.


Leah:              It was.  Thank you.


TOMAS:        Evangel, have you an idea of perhaps a disappointment that would be difficult to endure?


Evangel:         I believe it would be difficult for me to leave this world from a weak body and a weak mind, instead of go out when I would like to go or to fuse.


TOMAS:        Fully understood. The phrase "to die with your boots on" comes to mind and I myself have sounded glib but I intended no oversight. It is a concern shared by many, if not millions, in particular the senior citizenry who have come to the point of reaching a concern that they do not be kept alive incessantly and unconsciously. Yes, or to be alive in the body but not in the mind or in the heart. These are indeed viable concerns, but it is most unfortunate if they should actually devolve to an anxiety.


I am curious, Damien. Do you have a disappointment to offer or an anxiety to express, to share?


Damien:          A disappointment offered. It would be a disappointment to me: a woman who incessantly says "no" and defers, is non-consensual. This is my disappointment.


TOMAS:        A rebuff?

Damien:          A rebuff.


TOMAS:        Yes, this is a devastating experience for a young swain. It is however one which one becomes, if not accustomed to, at least inured, and yet it is not one that will affect your eternal survival and therefore is not necessarily a cause for anxiety. Is this not the lesson?


Damien:          Well, you asked if I had a disappointment. I shared the disappointment.

TOMAS:        I heard you.  I accepted your offering.


Damien:          Okay. What you would prefer me to do is to talk about an anxiety. Right? Is that what you're saying? I mean, you asked two questions. "Do you have an anxiety or a disappointment to share?"


TOMAS:        Either/or.  If you like to share them, both would be fine. One or the other. A comment is actually what I was eliciting.


Damien:          Oh.


TOMAS:        And you did comment as to a disappointment that you could identify with as a concern to yourself.  Yes.


Damien:          Okay.


TOMAS:        I appreciate all of you indicating a concern that would reach a point of anxiety and cause distress, and yet the adage of 'the disappointments hardest to bear are those which never come' still holds true, for those disappointments are not disappointments which will make or break your reality. They are temporal anxieties of a human nature. The true disappointment would be to not survive. The true disappointment would be to fail to fuse with your devoted Adjuster. That is the only disappointment worth losing sleep over, and that one will not come, for you have assigned your soul to the keeping of the Father. In the light of this keeping of the soul into the hands of the Father, all other experiences are experiential adventures of learning and teaching wisdom. Michael said, "I am the light unto your feet". "What does it matter if all things earthly crumble, to those who love the lord?"


It is, of course, a matter of perspective, but you are urged to take the farther view. The farther view involves your immortality, your relationship to divinity. Anything less than that falls short of the noble goal of eternity. Put your faith and trust in Him who knows you, in Him who will teach you, and in Him who will ease your anxieties. It is the human who experiences disappointment because they are immature; they are not raised up to a full understanding of the purpose of the experience. The experience will lead to growth and growth will lead to a greater understanding of your place in the universe, a greater appreciation of the Father, a greater enjoyment of truth, beauty and goodness.


These mota are enjoyable exercises, and yet I appreciate fully that they are an extension for you, a reach, a stretch.  But you can do it. You can reach and attain a greater understanding of your value and your life experience. If you were to lose any of these temporal goals, you would survive. You would be given courage, strength, understanding, in order to assimilate the experience and praise the Father for the learning, for the teaching, for the life.


But you are right, Leah, that it would be a serious disappointment to lose the association of your fellows. This is the sustaining power of the brethren in the kingdom, your siblings in truth. In association with your spirit guides and your spirit friends, human friends, you know that life experiences are made more palatable, more handle-able. Again, as Rodan says, the presence of a friend robs suffering of its sorrow and a friend enhances all joy.  Are there questions or commentary?


Leah:             That was a beautiful reminder of ... Shared. It reminds me of that quote to be in this world but not of this world. I wonder, is this a testing ground? This life here?


TOMAS:        I am smiling, for I see you meet and master many tests. Is it offered as a test? No. Is it? Yes, certainly. But it is in how you approach it whether it is truly a testing experience or experientially adventurous, this challenge.


Leah:              Well, there have been times in my life where I felt like I was just a rat in a maze and I know that our Father is loving and caring but sometimes it just feels like, on this earth plane, that's what it feels like.


TOMAS:        There are labyrinths. There are indeed furrows that can become ruts. Only as you have run up and down the rut for awhile do you know you're in a rut, and then you can do something about it. Many times mortals do act like a rat in a maze, going from A to B to C to A to B to C for different reasons, but there is constant growth and you may pick up the pace at any point. In time the pieces will fall into place, into line, and the pattern of perfection will become clear. Let us paint a picture of a holographic universe, and there are times when it looks completely out of focus, out of kilter, in disarray, helter-skelter. But when things come into alignment, a new alignment perhaps, a greater alignment from your accustomed approach, a more fine-tuned alignment, a more realistic alignment, etc, the new configuration falls into place and clarity is presented.


And then you can see, then you can realize that you have done what you needed to do to get to this moment, this clarity, this plateau of understanding. The labyrinths become fewer and fewer as you become more and more accustomed to returning to the first source and center for sustenance and for direction. This will go on throughout eternity. Always will it become necessary for you to become realigned. There is no such thing as graduated. Each day is an occasion for yet another alignment with his will and some days require several alignments, depending upon many conditions and circumstances in the human life.


Leah:              I appreciate your council. I feel an impulse to say something but I don't know why I want to say we had a rather large discussion about the intellect and the heart at the conference and further attempted to get into the heartfelt stuff, and when we're talking about what we're talking about tonight, it seems like it's more to motivation and I know Gerdean had something she wanted to say and it seems some of the responses in the room were in that intellectual genre, as opposed to really recognizing her heartfelt discussion, and …


I'm having some difficulty, especially with some of the things we discussed earlier, and one of the things ... All the time in the prayer and in the transcripts ... There's always talk of communing with God because, among other things, it's a joyful thing. And I'm feeling very strongly some lack of joy. And, well, I was also listening to a discussion between Gerdean and Evangel during intermission and I feel very frequently the same way, that I attempt to be constant and committed, I try to see the Father, and sometimes it just seems like …


… and I really don't feel I have a right to complain about anything; there's too many people on the earth plane who have plenty to complain about, but ... I've been told that I was made for contact. I'm not consciously aware of it. And for a long time when I did it and when I did these things religiously, it was more out of a sense of duty. But I would like that, dear Father. I'm just doing this because I've been asked to do it. I would really like to get to know you but this writing everyday stuff is driving me nuts.


I don't even know if you have any idea of what I'm talking about, but, again -- we can edit all this out if you want, but I've listened to all the things that have been discussed in the room this evening and I am -- I sincerely meant it would be a disappointment if we didn't have these meetings, but sometimes I feel like I made an attempt to do the things that are required of me, but sometimes I've been absolutely ... Is -- I'm just trying to say: where is the joy? It just seems like it's a heavy atmosphere this evening.


TOMAS:        There is a configuration of your electro-chemical systems, including mother nature, that affords an oppressive atmosphere. There is high humidity, heavy temperatures and a lot of electricity in the air. If you will observe, there is considerable lightening and thunder and turmoil in the heavens, and so this is an atmosphere in and of itself.


I will speak however regarding joy. Joy is manifested in many ways, and I know that children think in terms of joy as having fun, parties, laughter, balloons, champagne, celebration. This is an aspect of joy certainly. "be of good cheer" you are admonished, and yet many times even the master wept and even walked away with a dour countenance, deep in thought, deep in prayer.


It is inherent in a sensitive individual who sees life, that he or she should direct his or her heartfelt concerns to the Father in prayer, and there are many things to pray about.  There is a lot of poverty; there is a lot of fear; there is a lot of dysfunction; there is a lot of aggression. The condition of Urantia has, as you know, attained emergency proportions.


When you are in the companionship exclusively of those who love the Father, you have no restraints and you may know the joy of knowing him fully and radiantly, but in your arenas, where you work, where you are assigned to teach and preach, and to bring this good news of sonship, you encounter despair and darkness, anger, frustration. The wise thing to do in this arena is to pray and to be mindful of the concerns of those with whom you work, and with those for whom you have untiring and undying concern.


Leah:              How come I see anger, frustration and so on in those that know the Father?


TOMAS:        Because they are still human. Knowing the Father is not a sure pathway to immediate perfection. Anyone embarked on the ascension career knows that it is a lot of work. You don't just die and go to heaven. It is an ascension, an awakening, a process, and as you become perfect on one hand, you give up your imperfections on the other, and part of these imperfections are embraced in the human condition. Everyone has these feelings, some more, some less. How are they affecting your civilization?


Damien:          Are you asking to kill the human?

TOMAS:        I beg your pardon?

Damien:          Are you asking to kill the human condition?


TOMAS:        I am suggesting that self-mastery is a goal, yes.  Not to kill the human being but to kill those animalistic tendencies which would draw you away from your rightful place as a child of God.  These can be addictions or other serious diversions.  This is part of the evolving process.


It is not impossible, but it is not common for individuals to become enlightened and therefore avatars at once. Now Paul was quite a rascal. He became enlightened and changed his tune, but he still dragged around imperfections of thought processes (and most likely behaviors) but he still was a tremendous worker for the Master, for the church, which kept his name alive and his goals of ascension intact.


Damien:          That's the second time you've referred me to Paul. What is your inference in such?


TOMAS:        I am not specifically pushing Paul on you, but he is a handy reference, as is Matthew. Matthew was a pleasure seeker, a host of many bacchanals who, once converted to Jesus' sensibilities, was a devoted and mature individual. Even so, all of the apostles had human tendencies to grapple with, and they grappled with them among themselves and with the Master in conference with him. How fortunate they were to have had his personal counsel.


How fortunate you also are that you have his guarantee, his promise. You have his spirit of truth, which resides within you alongside the Father's fragment, to guide and direct you and to counsel you in the way to go in your path for divine perfection. And finally, how fortunate you are that you have the friendship of one another with whom to be humans in this experience of aspiring to be godlike, you of animal origin.


Leah:              So then ... Is it normal to ... What ... I don't know if the word would be backsliding or what term, but it seems like there's some stuff that ... It's funny how you get the answers before you get the question out. God should be more important than anything in this world, yes! Okay. I'm done.


TOMAS:        You have begun.


Leah:              What's the matter with us? I mean, I'm saying "we" even though I'm speaking of myself, but certainly ... Is it our animal nature that keeps us looking over our shoulder at these worldly, humanly appealing things? Is it the animal nature that does that?


TOMAS:        You are beating yourself up, I think. You are allowed to enjoy your humanness, you see. You can enjoy your humanness as a God-conscious individual. Now if you are speaking of giving up some practices which interfere with your higher yearnings, if you are asking why do we hang on to those, yes, it is part of your animal legacy. Remember that the animal mind is loath to let go of its comforts, its ego, its survival technique, its command, and its terrain. It is reluctant to relinquish control and it is tenacious, but it can be mastered in prayer, in sincere desire to do His will. That is your challenge.


This is where it is that you can determine how fast you will grow or how long you want to drag your feet in any particular labyrinth. There are some who say that fear is a great motivator, but it is a very primitive motivator. Even so it is sometimes required in order to get one moving.  But the Father does not teach through fear. The Father leads you into the fields of learning and experience, which will allow you to be radiant in your joy with Him. This is a truth that becomes known as you experience His guidance a few times. You begin to willingly relinquish your hold, your control over your animal nature and you succumb to the Father's guidance and will for you.


Damien:          Wait a second. Wait a second. Wait a second. You just totally lambasted me there. I'm listening to your comments to me about self-mastery; you're talking to Leah about losing control of your animal nature and turning it over to the Father's will. What? It doesn't make sense. You're saying self-mastery has to do with the Father's will. Is that what you're saying? Or are you saying self-mastery has to do with Aren's will or Damien's will?


Leah:              Let me address that, if I may. Is it just our free will that keeps us at the animal level? I mean, once we've made the decision that we want to go for God or we want to become self-realized, to pursue relationship with God where we know Him and love Him, it is only our free will that keeps us submerged in there?


TOMAS:        Free will is very strong. It is necessary that free will be strong so that you can choose meaningfully. If you did not have a strong will, you would not make firm decisions.   You would vacillate such that your life would be virtually meaningless. (Gerdean is scowling over that one.)


Leah:              The reprobate. The old man in the Bible who says all things are made new in Christ, but we still have to work at it.


TOMAS:        All things are made new. It is an easy concept to understand if you realize that the material way, the ego way, the worldly way is the old way. All things are made new in the spirit but they are not made new in the blink of an eye. They must be attained through your efforts. Sonship is a gift but you must develop yourself through your efforts. Herein many fail and falter. Herein is where the valiant Adjuster itself experiences disappointment, for sometimes mortals choose not to go forward.


It is our intention in the Teaching Mission to encourage you as often and as much as possible, in a realistic way, to realize the importance of the efforts that we embarked upon. We are concerned about your immortal soul. We are concerned about the future of Urantia. We are not going to stay long at the child's birthday party. There are times to rejoice; there are times to apply oneself, but at each level of attainment of a new level of growth, of appreciation, of value, there is a respite, there is a plateau where you may rest in the acknowledgement of a job well done.


Leah:              Paul said, "The very thing I don't want to do I continually do."  Then he does say, "I can do anything by asking the Christ to strengthen me." I -- this is a very confusing place to be, here nowadays.


TOMAS:        Yes, Leah, Urantia is in turmoil. It is only in and through the presence of the Father within you that you will know peace. You may experience degrees of camaraderie with like-minded people, but the conscientious and God-conscious individual today must grapple constantly with the vicissitudes of life. And they are difficult! They are increasingly difficult, as we have said they would be.  In-as-much-as your calendar is approaching the millennia, in-as-much-as the old system is falling away, and in-as-much-as we have entered a new dispensation. Do not look to the outside world for your reality. Do not ask from your material existence a confirmation of who you are. Ask only our Father, and do not ask Him in a cursory manner.


Leah:              What do you mean by that?


TOMAS:        Dwell with him. A cursory checking in with the Father would be to say, "Hey, God! Are you there? Good! Cool. I'm off and running!" You must spend time with the Father to recognize His relationship with you in depth, in order to strengthen you for the work at hand.  The wind has shifted.


Leah:              "The wind has shifted."  Is that a metaphor?


TOMAS:        [One moment]. The new dispensation has begun. The announcement is "Welcome to change." All things are becoming new.  The circuits are reconnecting. Yes.


Leah:              In the Book it says that when we start on this path, it will be difficult, but that ... troubles will come.


TOMAS:        Yes, "the sure pathway to trouble," and even that is made new, for what your idea of trouble is, may not be what God's idea is. It is, however, a way of assuring you that you may not rest on your laurels. You will be in a constant state of agitation and growth and appreciation for the growth. As you become accustomed to this process, you can take great delight in it.


Leah:              You're saying that -- Did I just understand you? I think I did! That ... That's what I was saying about rats, before, in a maze. So you're saying that -- I'll call it our experimentation here. -- Our experiential experimentation agitates us to the point where we realize that we are being agitated to a loftier height, and then eventually we come to the realization that this is an exciting ride?


TOMAS:        It is perfection hunger. You can balk all the way and regard it as troublesome, irksome, difficult, and too challenging.  You can join your animal legacy and balk, even as your indwelling Adjuster is luring you forward into new realms of appreciation for your very life, and in due course, if you are willing, you will begin to allow yourself to cooperate with this divine Indweller and you will be given the opportunity to see that it indeed knows what's good for you -- better than you know for yourself.  And then the experiences of your enduring are more of a process, in-as-much-as you understand that the fruition of the experience will give you a greater comprehension of divinity in and with and through yourself because this is the Father's path that you have chosen.


He has asked you to become perfect, even as He is perfect, and so this is part of perfection hunger. As you find yourself looking around in a labyrinth, a routine, a rut, boredom, a nightmare of repetition, you can ask for him to help you step up into an awareness of the next phase of your functioning. This sometimes entails a total revamping of what you believe to be real, and at first this can be quite terrifying, but in time you will realize that Father is in command and He loves you and He knows what is good for you and you will not be disappointed.


Damien:          Tomas.

TOMAS:        Yes, Damien.


Damien:          My mind has ten times in which you have associated me of having no character, that I do not know the Father. What is this? An insult? Or a prodding of a sort? Or what is that? And even as such, the inference that you might know whether or not I know the Father is none of your business; it is an assumption of yours. Correct? There are three questions and an assumption.


TOMAS:        I can respond in the face of Gerdean's resistance.  [Pause]  Perhaps not.

Leah:              May I address Damien?

TOMAS:        Yes, Leah.


Leah:              I know intellectually the Father but I don't ... Even as I intellectually know that He guides and protects me, like there are people who say in the songs, "He walks with me and He talks with me," I don't have that relationship. Even though I talk with Him sometimes, I don't feel that I have a relationship, you know. I don't think it has anything to do with character. Some people just know it and other people don't.


Damien:          I thought it was part of the fruits of the spirit, and building character.  To know the Father first.


Leah:              Well, perhaps what I have done in my life and maybe what I'm lamenting here is that I have been trained to be a servant, and maybe I have an attitude of when I do things I earn a merit badge or something.


Damien:          Brownie points.


Leah:              Yeah. And, I mean, my approach has been -- I'm not going to say always, but throughout my elementary spiritual growth, it was more conditional. Even my prayers in the evening to our father were prayers of contrition, and my attitude was, if I don't say this prayer, God isn't going to accept me when I die. What if I die and I don't say this prayer tonight? You know, I feel like I'm evolving more towards it, but I don't -- Even though I talk to the heavenly Father, I listen to other people, and it strikes me that they have a more immediate heartfelt intimate relationship with God and that's what I'd really like to have.


Evangel:         You know, I must be unconscious, or something, but I never heard anything like that.


Damien:          Like what?


Evangel:         About him saying you don't know God.  Maybe, if it's on tape ... I must have been unconscious.


Damien:          Yeah.


Evangel:         And I thought I was awake.  I didn't learn anything like that, didn't hear anything like that.  I'm not saying you didn't.  I'm saying I don't recall hearing anything like that.


Damien:          It was my perception of the subtle inference that I didn't know the Father.  I think that would be a direct quote off the tape.


Evangel:         Maybe it's there but I didn't hear it.  Not in that way, anyway.

Leah:              Joniel, did you hear it like that?

Joniel:             I didn't hear it that way.

Damien:          Maybe I'm wrong.  I doubt it.  Does Tomas have anything to say?


TOMAS:        Thank you for asking. Tomas would like to clarify that it is just such kinds of misunderstandings in the super-conscious realm that give rise to Gerdean's anxiety. It is a most unfortunate side effect of the process of being a transmitter/receiver and frankly why people are reluctant to do such a thing.


Damien:          At this point, why would Gerdean take on your responsibilities, Tomas? TOMAS:        In her loyalty to the master, to me and to truth, she senses an attack.

Damien:          On you?

TOMAS:        Yes.

Damien:          It wasn't on her, so why was it?


TOMAS:        Because she identifies strongly with what I represent and with what she perceives the Master represents.


Damien:          Okay, let's step away from what Karen or Gerdean senses, and what do you sense?  Do you sense an attack, Tomas?


TOMAS:        Oh, yes.  I, however, am not anxious about it.  I enjoy a lively discourse, even a friendly argument.


Damien:          Were you going to respond to either of the three questions on character?


TOMAS:        I will respond somewhat because we have already had discourse somewhere in terms of character and God-consciousness, and I will again state, because it is worthy of repeating, that the Thought Adjuster works within the mind of the human being from the time the mortal makes his or her first unselfish decision, at the arrival of the Thought Adjuster at, on your planet, approximately, five years of age.


The Thought Adjuster works consciously or unconsciously, that is to say, with or without the human's cooperation, and so whether or not you know the Father, He knows you. As you choose to know the Father, you can contribute to your character development but it is truly the Father who develops your character as a result of your experiences, your opportunities and your own soul growth based upon your relationship with the Father.


Now many individuals experience an entire life without even making an attempt to know the Father, and they survive and they have good character.


Damien:          How do they have good character if they don't know the Father?


TOMAS:        Because the Father indwells them. They have - inherently - certain qualities. If they are developed through conscious application, so much the better.


Damien:          Are you talking about human genetics?

TOMAS:        Not especially.

Damien:          How could it be inherent?

Leah:              Not "inherited."


TOMAS:        I don't recall the context of the sentence. Inherent is natural, as a result of. The Father indwells you; the Thought Adjuster indwells each of you here, in-as-much-as the Father is hope, tolerance, ministry, service, these kinds of things, you have them also. You cannot escape them because they're part of you, because you are part of the Father. He indwells you.


As you observe your behaviors and discover that perhaps you could do something about your reactions -- perhaps you could be kinder -- as you become aware of your responses, your habitual behaviors, it is possible for you to become aware of, yes, I will use the phrase "character defects" or those habits which stand in the way of being more effective and you can develop that character which is already within you as a result of the Father being within you. These qualities are His qualities. You begin, however, to identify with them and manifest them more completely.


Damien:          The point of the assumption referred to earlier, you answered my three questions. Why is there something in me that I am not knowing my father?


TOMAS:        It was not an assumption that you do not know the Father. I know that you have as much of an understanding of the Father as anyone, in-as-much-as all of your understandings of the Father are based on faith and your personal understanding of your relationship with Him which varies and grows on a daily basis. I have made no unfair assumptions.


Damien:          You have this evening!

Leah:              How is that, Damien?

Damien:          You assumed that I did not know the Father, yes.

TOMAS:        You interpreted what I said in that manner.

Damien:          Should I speak literally with you always?


TOMAS:        I object when you assume that I have been unkind or unfair with you whom I love. I am going to prepare to depart. I will not hurry out the door, however. If there is a need for further discourse or enjoyment, I am willing to linger a few moments.


Leah:              Tomas, I appreciate your friendship and your steadfastness and your dealing with our growing.


TOMAS:        Thank you, Leah, for your commendation. I am happy to be a member of the Teacher Corps. It is a privilege for me and a learning experience as well. I will take however the sentiment of your offering and apply it to my companion Gerdean who endures much in her desire to be of service to me in the Teaching Mission, and so, Gerdean, thank you, and hopefully we can continue our association. Hopefully indeed we can all continue our association into eternity, in love and in faith of the Father's divine overcare for us all. Peace be upon you.


Leah:              Please don't go yet. I just heard you say that you hoped we would continue the association, and while I did voice that I would find it a disappointment if we were not to have these meetings, and that that would raise some anxiety, and you pointed out that the relationship with the Father is the most important thing, I have to say that you and the Teachers are very important. Even though in my mind you are "out there," you are very important elements in me "in here," so I hope we will continue this relationship and that if Gerdean is distressed at the moment, that she will be inspired to continue. Not this evening, but she is certainly an asset to our community and she is very effective in assisting those of us who wish to discuss these concepts and tasks with you.


TOMAS:        It is a goal indeed that we begin to live as if we would all like to practice the golden rule and carry each others burdens, but this is a big assignment and we will deal with it bit by bit, for we are here to help you. Thank you. Good night.




DATE:                        July 28, 1998

LOCATION:              Butler, PA, USA

T/R’s:                         Gerdean,  Hunnah




MERIUM:      Good evening, everybody, I am Merium.

Group:             Leah, Joniel, Gerdean and Liana:  Good evening.


MERIUM:     I am glad to be here. Tomas has sent me out to greet you. I am going to play a role today of buffer. It has to do with the fact that you have been romping in the fields of relationship, playing, as it were, "Jack and Jill" and so I have been called to round you up, bring you in, dust you off, and sit you down in order that Uncle Tomas may be able to have an honorable word or two. In the meantime, however, girls, let's play a little bit because I am never in a hurry to get too heavy. You know I like this childlike aspect of being creatures of the Creator. I like the analogy, in fact, of Jack and Jill because throughout eternity you will be heading up a hill to fetch a pail of water and eternally you will indeed fall down, and I am here to dust you off, pick you up and send you on your way again.


It is such an interesting game when you look at it that way. The Mother is always on hand with her regiment, as is the Father with his. When you remember that you are children, innocent, carefree, it is so much easier to deal with so much of this life. Playing, however, is a realm of functioning wherein you find out who you are compatible with and who rubs you the wrong way.


There are personalities, you know, that are more compatible with each other than others. Some are quite bookish and some are quite athletic; some are dreamers and some are marchers; and it is okay for you to find contact and also to find compatibility. You who are in the spirit school, must realize that divine love is the kind of love that umbrellas everyone. You can love everyone in a transcendental way, but in actuality, it is quite difficult often to love some individuals, for they are at odds with your under­standing of what is appropriate and/or what is comfortable to you.


I would suggest that children also are rather open to experimen­tation and they haven't gotten the judgement, the prejudices, that come with a few difficult experiences. Children are likely to just say "Okay, never mind" and go on being buddies, whereas as you grow up, as you become more mental, more sophisticated in your societal behaviors your are inclined to keep the door closed between you, and this does create barriers to growth in communication.


Lest I find myself at the podium waving a stick, I am going to get out of here. I will be back later, but I wanted to help bring you into focus. You realize that it is a process, and it is necessary for you to bring yourself to the process in order that it may convene, and so, Tomas, you may convene.


TOMAS:        Thank you, Merium, and good evening my loyal students. How good it is to be with you again in our customary configuration and how happy I am to feel your delightful presences and, as Merium has indicated, your fairly focused attention.


I will continue this discussion as to relationships, in-as-much-as you have spent a good portion of your evening discussing yourselves in your various relationships with those you love and those you would love. I am also intrigued by Merium’s nursery rhyme and the promise of the bucket of water, for isn't it true that the water, the living water, is real? As Jack and Jill head up the hill to fetch this pail of water, they are united in their efforts; as they fall, however, I and Merium are there to catch you and discuss your fall. Why have you fallen on your way to get your water?


Now if Hunnah were here this evening transmitting Merium, she would no doubt discuss the fact that this pail can slosh a lot of water even as it trudges in the direction that it goes and spilling water sometimes is a way of spreading your graces, your seeds, your good will. It is still apparent to me, however, that the relationship is strengthened by its joint purpose, its climb, for as soon as one or the other opts to step down on the job, the other is prone to stop also, and herein is where you fall.


Leah:              Would you please elaborate on that?


TOMAS:        Our Father has set into motion a scheme of creation that, for you, involves one of ascension, one of climbing up, of perfecting. You women and you men, you boys and girls, you Jack’s and Jill’s, as you continue to maintain your focus on your ultimate goal, you are able to continue your ascent, and you are in alignment with his will. As you, men and women, set out together, you may companion each other in the ascent, and you may companion your­selves successfully because you have the farther view, the long-range goal which keeps you going.


You may have experienced this exercise. If you "act as if" there is a thread, a cord, holding you up from your breast bone, you can feel yourself being lifted by the seat of the soul. The seat of the soul has been accorded a dwelling place in the vicinity of the breast bone, the chest area. As it is allowed to lead you, it will innately lead you forward and upward. It will enable your climb to be made easier, for your soul is leading the way. It is tethered to the Father/to the Mother in Paradise, and you will be led/drawn up much like a fish is reeled in on the fishing line.


Now, you have this connection between yourself and the goal of eternity. This is the way it works. This is the effective approach. Jack and Jill fall down because they begin to look to each other as the end of the journey, the reason for the journey, the journey itself. It is always best if all remember that all relationships are a result of the primary relationship which is the relationship between the creator and the creature. As you have a relationship with the Father, you are made relatively real, you actualize accor­ding to His divine plan for you and your place within the divine plan -- your understanding of the plan, as it can be played out in the circumstances surrounding you.


In your relationship with the Father you are secure in your rela­tionship with yourself and you know who you are in terms of your higher reality. You know culturally that you are of animal origin, of a certain tribe, of a certain culture, of a certain socio-economic, a certain educational, et cetera, conditioning. And this will color who you are in your manifestation, but your actual reality is in and through your reality as a child of God, your spiritual identity.


The spiritual identity of others is that relationship, then, which constitutes your peer group, your spiritual family, others who are also children of God. If you seek a relationship with a Jack or a Jill, it is vitally important then that you ascertain the relation­ship that he or she has with the greater reality, for that will greatly impact how you will comport yourself in the relationship.


Is it a relationship then with human-divine conjoining, this Jack-and-Jill-ness? Is it a relationship that will sit down on a perennial picnic? Or is it a relationship that aspires individually to get a pail of water and offers companionship in the process to one another? You run into so many difficulties in your relation­ships here on Urantia because your conditioning is so largely animalistic and it is laced with the cultural, educational, socio-economic, et cetera, arsenic/toxin that coagulates into a system rather than allowing it to remain open and free and related, initially and even singularly, to that ultimate goal, that true connection that keeps you afloat, that keeps you headed upward in the direction of perfection.


Any one of you may review any one of your relationships and see that this is true and you can see also that if you share relation­ships with someone who is also being led by the Father, you will realize that you are in step with that person even today, for this is the joint ascension, the advancing of the ages, the forward moving flock of faithers into tomorrow -- your family, indeed.


How glad I am that Merium brought you in and dusted you off. I hope now I have not buried you under a pile of methodology. It is just always so fascinating to hear how thoroughly imbued you are with the ideals of relationship, the reality of relationship, and how you struggle so for an understanding of what it is that you expect and what indeed it is that you think you want!


Are there any questions? Are there commentary? I am willing now to share the podium. The floor is open. (Long pause) I find it fascinating that you who have discussed relationships for hours are suddenly now so silent. Have you become tongue-tied because of the perspective or because of the companionship at hand?


Leah:              "Companionship at hand"?  What do you mean?

TOMAS:        Because I am here.  Have you changed your tune?


Liana:             Well, there is so much going through my mind, I don't know what to formulate. Actually, relationship is something that I have been contemplating a lot lately, and -- I read some stuff about sex organs being in the throat. Now I don't mean to have children that way, but in the ascension, the focus moves away from the genital area into the throat. It's almost like ... to make that contact with another person, would be like a spiritual word, or a sound, and that this was the way that it was done at one point in time and this is the way it will be done as we move forward. Do you have any comment on that at all, Tomas?


TOMAS:        Abstract art form. Yes, I have a comment. I am delighted by the commentary you bring. I am peculiarly reminded of our comrade Carolyn Myss who discusses the throat as the will seat; the voice, indeed, as the voice that speaks the word, and "in the beginning was the word and the Word was God and the Word was with God" and so now we can hear with ears to hear whether or not there is someone there in the potential relationship.


Yes, your connotation that the genitalia resides within the throat has a great deal of abstract art merit, because of the fact that beyond cultural mores and tribal mating practices, not to mention the fundamental hormonal sex urge, there is a great attraction born of like-mindedness, the fact of mental stimuli. There are those who have said that the mind is truly the main sex organ. The union takes place in the mental realms and not in physical coitus. I will go one further and say that the true union is in the soul, the real coming together is morontial, but that is still a shadow world away. Your picture of the throat, however, is en route.


Liana:             So when you were talking earlier about the seat of the soul being the breastbone and just now you said that the coming together is really a soul thing, then, what do you mean by coming together?


TOMAS:        Coming together in a higher sense, that is to say a communion. There is a tremendous yearning in every individual to feel "the embrace". This yearning occurs from pre-infancy and continues into infinity. The yearning for the embrace is a part of your make-up. Even though you are an independent entity in many respects, you still have a yearning to conjoin with another and/or others and this conjoining is incomplete unless and until it is a conjoining with perfection.


This is built into your psychological make-up. You will find release and satisfaction when you are in the presence of Michael. You will find tremendous satisfaction standing in his presence, being with him and Nebadonia, but yet again will this yearning carry you forward, even until you stand before the Father himself in Paradise. Only then will the yearning cease because you will have become one with all that is.


Now, in the interim you are here in your human adult existence and as adult human beings, your inherent configuration leans you toward wanting to converge with a mate. The mating process involves many levels and more sophisticated levels as you have advanced and developed, as was touched on earlier, even though in this life a high level of communion takes place in and through human beings by their sharing their most soulful value with another.


This can occasionally include a sexual relationship but it can be found and enjoyed by any meaningful friendship, and so the communion, this coming together, may or may not limit itself to sexuality but everyone has a yearning to merge with the greater reality, and this too is part of relationship. It is one of the wonderful things about your day and age today. You are free to love as many people as you can and in as many ways as you have energy for, for as short or long a period of time as is available.


You can look at a person in a shopping mall over a material item and exchange a glance with someone that conveys oceans of feeling and understanding and in that very instant flash a reality to each other that is genuinely valuable. It is a love affair of the heart for one instant. And that counts. You may also have a relationship with, for example, the postman who delivers your mail day in, day out, rain or shine. You say hello to this individual, you may just nod your head, but there is an understanding that they do their job, they are there for you, they serve you, and you may love them in the full appreciation of the gift they offer you in terms of convenience and you may have a moment of genuine appreciation that bespeaks to them the love you have for the relationship that exists even in its functional and rudimentary form.


All of these different forms of connection constitute relationship of one sort or another. You all yearn for the great romance, the sweeping off your feet situation, the bliss of marital ecstasy or conjugal communion, but it is such a high ideal and such a fleeting instant, you sometimes miss it in your desire to attain it. And what a shame that you feel that that is the only kind of heartfelt soulful communion possible. There are so many viable and varied sorts of embrace.


Leah:              Well, Merium did start this conversation "Jack and Jill came up the hill."


TOMAS:        Indeed she did and we have not lost track of our young couple, but it is also true that your discourses of this evening were of a boy-girl nature and so it was appropriate, to use one of your favorite words, but as Rodan testifies also, these genuine friendships can be had between two people who are not boy and girl such as two girls, or two boys, or you four women here who have shared in such a way that you have come together in a familial fashion and shared laughter and compassion for your condition, your human condition, and you have not been lonely. You have indeed been connected. You have communed; you have conjoined; you have come together. Now, if you like to, we can return to the boy-girl scenario.


Leah:              Merium skipped out but she started to say that we might find that some people are not that easy to love or get along with or whatever, and then before she left she ended up saying something to the effect that we overcome that. One time I heard an expression that said, "Yeah, you gotta love everybody, but that doesn't mean they have to be in your face all the time. It just means you gotta throw them a life preserver if they're drowning."


MERIUM:     I am Merium, I'm back. I can speak for myself. I have not jumped ship. I have just moved over so that Tomas could carry on for awhile. We are sharing the same podium and as you well understand, it is difficult to follow a conversation when two or three people are all talking at once. Let's see. Where were we? We are talking about relationships wherein some are more compliant than others.


Well, I am reminded of some of your dramatic romantic movies where­in the man and the woman in the first scene actually hate each other, they say rude things to each other; perhaps she slaps him; perhaps he is rude to her, and this makes for great theater. Boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl and so forth, so it is not always true that if you don't get along right off the bat, you never will.


This is a case, obviously, of opposites being attracted and perhaps two independent and feisty spirits resisting the attraction even though they know and hope they will succumb to the inevitable in the romantic long run. Again, however, this is theater and even though sometimes real life is theatric and sometimes indeed it has a happy ending, it is also to be considered that there are some people that you can't be with more than two minutes and they start to get on your nerves.


There is also merit in appreciating the relationship of this sort because it is also possible that you are being given an opportunity to learn how to be long-suffering or gracious or tactful or tolerant or any one of those qualities of maturity and character that allow for life to go on without your permission; that is to say, in life everything does not comport to your satisfaction -- and I mean "your" as a generic condition and not you specifically.


Leah:              How do you love someone when you discover their behavior is deceptive?


MERIUM:     You are dual nature beings. You are of animal origin and you are intended to become spirit. In-as-much as you are indwelt by the Father, in-as-much as you have been born of the spirit and are functioning in and through a viable reality of spirit, that is to say the fruits of the spirit are alive and well within you and "by your fruits you shall be known", you may address the Thought Adjuster and anticipate the gracious reflection of divinity in and through the lives of your peers.


On the other hand you are of animal origin. The animal nature is reluctant to change. The ego is incessantly clamoring for atten­tion. The immature individual worries and frets over that which the mature individual would regard as trivial. The animal has desires and urges which want met; much like a baby will cry to be fed, adults also, until they have learned, will cry and become belligerent and bellicose in order to have its needs met or its discomforts alleviated.


Under those circumstances, it is unique in each case as to how you say "enough is enough". Obviously it is in your best interest to appeal consistently and constantly to that within them that will bring their best, their wisest, their truth-beauty-and-goodness. Obviously that is why we stress that you acquaint yourself with the presence of God in your fellows and appeal to that, depend upon that, rely upon that, believe in that as THE reality, the strength, the foundation of the other person.


The difficulty arises when the challenge to their God-consciousness is inflamed. When you have appealed to the God within them and they then, in themselves, approach a moment of defiance, when they are arguing within themselves about whether or not they are going to follow the will of God or whether they are going to follow their own will, you will sometimes see a turn-about wherein the ego usurps control. You can continue to appeal to the God within them, but it may be, at this point, that there is war going on in the individual and you have stepped into their battleground. At this point it is wise for you to get off the field and allow the battle within them to play itself out unless you are completely in command of your alignment with the Father.


When Abraham talks about the good fight of faith, when he talks about the armies of the Lord, herein is his frame of reference. This battleground is very real, and sometimes the animal wins out. Ego can be very strong and free will is a gift of the Gods. It has sometimes been misused, as your planet has seen. "And there was war in heaven." There can be war within. Each of you has known this kind of war within. Each of you meets with this crises point in yourself. At each turning point, at each point when your ego must die yet another ego death in order for you to become more Godlike, you encounter this moment yourself.


When you have practiced within yourself the practice of focusing on the Father and desiring to do His will, when you spend time in prayer, when you establish for yourself healthy spiritual habits, when you ask the Father to walk with you and you ask your spirit guides to show you where you have fallen short and where you might pick up your reins, you will be guided and directed, and so it is here that your sincerity is of utmost importance. It is here also where you may, in the privacy of your mind and heart, have compas­sion for those whose conflict is so dramatic and distressing as to be a whirlwind in the lives of those they touch.


Leah:              I guess I'm asking how to detach from that. I want to have compassion in certain difficult situations and I know detachment is one of the best ways but sometimes it just seems impossible.


MERIUM:     They are battlegrounds, Leah. It is no wonder you have a reaction to the battle when you follow the Prince of Peace. When you spend time with the Prince of Peace, when you know the peace which passes all understanding, the turmoil in the souls of those we know and love are painful to behold. Realizing the throes of conflict in a person you love can be a difficult matter to endure. Much as seeing a woman give birth, you don't like to hear the screaming, but you can appreciate the child coming into being. Appreciate that the pain will pass, that the life will be good.


It takes a certain constitution to be able to endure the crises. Everyone does not have the constitution for it. That's why some people are nurses and some people can't stand to see the sight of blood. That's why some people are good in psychology and some people are good in religion. That's why there are so many varia­tions on the theme. That's also why we are grateful, to the Mother, to bring a sense of assimilation to each new constitution. Each new level of reality growth falls in place because of her ministrations. That is why, after a vicious and painful battle, when good has won out, we can look back on the battle and say, "Well done," and feel a certain pride in the accomplishment. It has been a battle for the good fight of faith -- the only fight worth fighting for. We are talking about souls here. Yes.


Leah:              It seems like we were talking about Jack and Jill. They were running up the hill to get the pail of water and you said something about they would fall.


MERIUM:     When you are starting out, it is easy to look at your goals and how you are going to get there. You can work together; you can help each other in the ascent. But when your goals are not the same, you are separated. You now are in a position to stumble upon each other or become off-balance. When this happens, one may sit down and the other may fall down, at least until such a time as an understanding is reiterated as to where it is you think you are going and are you going in the same direction and can you companion in the journey again and some more or not?


Therein is where you fall. But, you get back up, you get dusted off and you get back on the path. In the case of marital disso­lution, it is simply a case wherein you have both sat down on the side of the hill and said, "I think I'll go the rest of the way by myself, but I'll see you from time to time on the way up and I'll see you at the top. Have a good trip."

I am going to move over now.  Good night.


TOMAS:        I am your trusty Tomas, back again.  Are we on schedule?

Group:            I think we're always on schedule, even when we don't think we are.

TOMAS:        I haven't heard from Joniel for a while.  How are you, kid?

Joniel:             I'm okay.  (Indistinguishable)

TOMAS:        How is your daughter?

Joniel:             She needs some more help.  I try to help where I can.


TOMAS:        I am getting a picture of a bicycle with training wheels. She is so eager to "hit the road, Jack" her back wheel is wobbling. Yes, mother, I see your clucking tendencies and have an apprecia­tion for it, in-as-much as I observe it in my feminine companion.


Gerdean:        Tomas, are you saying that guys don't cluck?

TOMAS:        We crow.


Gerdean:        I see. So then, Tomas, are you saying that until such time as there is something to crow about, you don't say anything? Is that what?


TOMAS:        We do a lot of strutting.

Gerdean:        I see.

Liana:             A cock in a barnyard.

Leah:              [Laughter] I'm laughing there, Gerdean.


Gerdean:        I was making a similar analogy there and I'm thinking, I remember that cocks have great and wonderful and beauteous feathers and I am beginning to see a pattern here. I think I've said enough, Tomas. Thank you very much for your insight.


Leah:              You think you see a pattern here?


TOMAS:        I want you to know, Gerdean, that it is not necessary for you to praise my feathers. I am fully aware of my own beauty. It is not a matter of concern to me whether you admire me or not, and so do not extend the analogy too far into your realm of behavior. I assume from this interchange that you are finding some merit to an analogy of the chickens to mortals, but this is a limited analogy in-as-much as chickens aren't too bright and I, Merium and the other teachers are far in advance of your barnyard creatures, but in-as-much as you have a profound appreciation for the beauty of the rooster and the maternal flavor of the hen, I will accept some of your artistic representation with thanks for the compliment.


I think that it's time to roost for the evening. It is a beauteous evening, calm and free. The moon is in a gentle phase, the wind is cool and quiet. Your camaraderie has been fulfilling and your teachings have been busy. Go to bed and rest. Tomorrow is another full day in the life. Good night.


DATE:                        August 4, 1998

LOCATION:              Butler, PA, USA

T/R’s:                         Gerdean


Group:                        Leah, Fraline, Hunnah, Gerdean, Joniel, Iyana and Rachel


Believe in That Which is Real


MERIUM:     I want you to be quiet a moment and listen some more. I want you to listen to the music of the night. (Frogs, cicadas, crickets, ad infinitum) All that communication! You had your own version of it here. We are meant to communicate, to greet one another, and celebrate the provisions of life. You understand that if we just sat here and listened to the provision of life in another way, another form, you would still be fed; it would simply not be necessary to write a transcript but you would receive a lesson.


You must not forget that there was a day when people were able to commune and not have a record of it. It would come into their heart and be recognized and there would be no record of it. A fond memory, perhaps, but chosen words that electrified them and were stimulating but generally there wouldn't be this accumulation. You have bags of paper with words on them, and yet that has not changed your lives, having all these words written for you to read.


You could almost say that they are like divine suspenders, holding you up, because you are always falling down, so you reach for the security of the ribbon of words that will hike you back up to where you think you should be. This is not any particularly eloquent statement, but think about how you depend on our words. How you have trouble getting quiet unless you have something to read because you are so totally owned by your left hemisphere.


The art of silence is worth developing, but silent anticipation that there is an intelligent message is far more important. The words are like dessert. You have all been eating a great deal of dessert, but if it is a way of getting your attention, then we will continue to do so. And besides, we have a very special teacher who is indeed gifted, and I am sure that he has several topics that he could discuss with you this evening, and I will return the mike to our friend, Tomas. Thank you, Tomas.


TOMAS:        Thank you, Merium. What a gracious introduction! I am totally delighted with the graciousness of your words and your demeanor, and indeed the demeanor of the presentation of the evening, as you sit in repose and behold the cacophony of your universe, the delights of the material life and the confidence of the spiritual life.


I would speak you this evening regarding your belief in that which is real to you.  Your human life is a priceless gift which is unfolding one day at a time. We are enjoying this moment in time, in complete harmony with nature and in communion with spirit. How delightful this moment is when neither the human nor the divine is overlooked.


In your sharing this evening, you spoke of your attitude, the empowering aspect of your belief system. I am going to reinforce for you what you reviewed for us and for each other and for yourselves this evening: You have begun to believe in yourselves and in your values. You have begun to assume your sonship/ daughtership. You have begun to enjoy and appreciate and represent the dignity of being daughters and sons of a King.


This stature which you have within you is a courageous stature to manifest. It requires an assurance born of sonship, an acknow­ledgement of the reality of your reality. When you refuse to be subjected to disorder, abuse, disharmony, discord; when you have done what you can to bring peace and order to a situation and it is beyond your influence, you can refuse to participate and uphold it.


Many of you have witnessed this and experienced this. This indicates a maturity on your part. It indicates that you have gone from being a toddler through the difficult teen-age years into young adulthood in terms of the spirit. You are growing up. (I do not wish to convey to you that you are not still children and that you do not still need constant nurturance.) It is appreciated when we see you bespeak that which you are becoming.


You know we are involved in a revelation. A revelation is one step beyond evolution. Evolution allows for your growth, your development as a people, but as individuals involved in the revelation of truth, you are yourselves internally changed. You, for example, are now children of faith; you know you are loved. The fact that you know you are loved creates in you a strength and a confidence that was not there when you believed yourself to be a sinner or guilty or unworthy.


The confidence born of sonship reflects in your attitude and it affects the world around you. As others also accept the divine love of the Universal Father, they too manifest the joy of sonship/ daughtership, and this is revelation, for this is the Living Water being poured out upon all flesh and running into the streets.


There are other revolutionary and revelatory changes coming about and which you are contributing to, one of which is when you refuse to tolerate the regime of evil and iniquity. It is not an intel­lectual understanding, children, no, but as you have testified in your sharing, it is inharmonious to the spirit, and this is intol­erable to those of you who choose to remain in the presence of the Father.


When the Father's love is being assailed, this is not an environment for you to remain in and contribute your energy to, when you have ascertained that it would be fruitless for you to do so. Remember Jesus himself was ruthless when it came to iniquitous attitudes and behaviors. Your loyalty to the Father and to His inestimable love for you and for His creation cannot be dragged through the mire of ignorance.


MERIUM:     I would like to comment about Tomas' last line there, is that darkness cannot enter light, and the environment may come and it may go, it may be receptive and it may not be receptive, but it does not affect the good will of the Father. Thank you.


TOMAS:        Thank you, Merium, for certainly it is true that the Father is all light, all illumination and all good, and He cannot be besmirched by anything, but it is a matter of perception by the human who has a limited perspective. Because of the dual nature, it is, as we have delved into on many occasions, a difficult assignment for the human being to remain always in the presence of the Father, particularly when the pull of the animal is so great.


I will point out an example for you in terms of your appreciation of this value lesson. When you establish in your mind a faith path full of good cheer, such as, let us say the knowledge that Lucifer is no more, you can deal with the most difficult situation and know that it is not the Devil who is doing it. You no longer have to fear that terrible powerful evil, only the residue human understanding of that ego, that self-will, that which edges god out, as compared to that one who continues to believe that possibility.


There is a point here. I am having a hard time getting it through this channel, but it has to do with anticipating good and anticipa­ting bad. We spoke recently about the mota that discusses "anxiety must be abandoned." Why do you suppose anxiety must be abandoned? One of the reasons it must be abandoned is because you then set yourself up to accept it. If you accept anxiety, you will antici­pate anxiety. It's a mind-set, if you will. If you anticipate good stuff, you will experience good stuff.


Much of this has to do with your attitude. Granted, life does have a way of pulling the slats out from under you, however, your basic understanding of truth, beauty and goodness is founded on the fact of the Father's love and that it is a friendly universe. These truths give you strength. And so when life is difficult, you can deal with it because you are learning and growing the truth of the statement that the Father is with you, He is all love.


He is protecting you, caring for you, enveloping you in His very presence. You are His children; you are extensions of Him, and as you manifest Him and refuse to allow the lesser reality to prevail, you have upheld Him and you have upheld yourself as a dignified child of God in truth.


Iyana:             Thank you, Tomas.  I take those words to heart.

TOMAS:        I am glad, lyana, for I meant them integrally.


Rachel:           So this is sort of what I've been experiencing this past week. Refusing to be anxious. Refusing to let other people bug me with their negative problems. Just sort of focusing inward and going onward?


TOMAS:        Absolutely! We discussed the importance of the stillness. The stillness is the presence of God. That is your anchor. That is the focal point, your First Source and Center. As you become familiar with that vantage point, you begin to see from that vantage point. It is truly your strength.


Rachel:           What I see is -- I can see my growth sometimes in little bits and pieces, and I am amazed sometimes. At other times I feel I am not getting that far, but I am thankful every day for spending my hour, and sending most of my thoughts up there, but I learned a lesson and I think I learned it before but, you really despair, when the carpet's pulled from under you; the more you pray, the more you look to the Father, it's almost like you have to go down to -- total humility? I don't know.


Iyana:             Go down to come up.


Rachel:           Because it's amazing, when you hit bottom, it's amazing how your faith increases! I don't know. Now I'm having a good time. I'm beginning to worry that I should be worrying! I'm not used to this!


TOMAS:        Get used to it. Life is rich. Full and good. Remember your Source. Remember your assignment here. Remember your peers and remember who you are in terms of being.


Iyana:             I have been reading lately and it has come home to me that if you knew the picture as God knows the picture, the whole of your life, that would be one thing, but when you do not know and He does, you have to have the faith and the love and the trust that He will carry us along.


TOMAS:        Certainly. It is the only thing that will see you through the adversity.


Iyana:             I'm also reading how we should be saying, "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." Because it's true that there is so much to thank Him for, and this causes a lot of joy.


TOMAS:        Indeed it is the attitude of the child who looks to the Father in faith for its very existence, and remember that the Father is the provider of all your needs. We cannot ascertain what He feels our needs are, but He knows our needs.


Humans have a tendency to think only in terms of: "I need food; I need a roof over my head; I need a bath; I need a job; I need someone to love; I need something to do." The Father's perception, however, of what you need entails a different standard, not excluding the afore-mentioned but including: "You need to know Him; you need devotion; you need respect; you need reflection; you need joy; you need adversity; you need understanding; you need experience."


And so these are presented to you and for you in order that you may be His representative, as you are His child -- learning, teaching, growing, becoming more God-like, becoming more perfect as you learn your lessons and as you teach and preach as you pass by. It is certainly true that you are becoming new, and as you allow your identity to unfold in appreciation of who you are becoming -- sons and daughters of this living God -- you begin to approach life with a new appreciation of what life is all about, what is meaningful, what is important, what is valuable.


I am not going to carry on any more without my able co-worker's involvement and so I'll throw the floor open to our cacophony of fellowship in the spirit and in the crickets. Are there questions?


Iyana:             Today Hunnah and I were talking about Reiki, and she saw for the first time that the third initiation symbol has an invitation and acknowledgement of the Holy Spirit, in spite of it being a model coming from Asia. She wants to know -- she says she needs to bond with this service more deeply, and she sees this Reiki business as a gift that will assist her and allow her to elevate the technique in herself. Would you answer?


TOMAS:        Merium, shall I speak?

MERIUM:     By all means.


TOMAS:        Indeed the healing gift of Reiki is of the Infinite Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit, if you will, that is in action. You understand from your studies that the Infinite Spirit is the action part of God, also that the Infinite Spirit, the Mother, is the parent of personalities that are healers. The angelic corps, for example, are healers of various ills and discords.


It is not unlike the universe to regard the Universal Mother Spirit as the source of healing. She is a minister, as is her daughter, the Divine Minister, the bride of Christ, Nebadonia, a font of healing. These energies that emanate from the Third Source and Center are realized in the healing touch of Reiki and other divinations of this nature. The Life Carriers who bring the essence of life into the worlds of time and space, are the planters of the force of life; the action -- that, too, is a function of the Infinite Spirit, the Mother. They prepare the way, but she plants the seed. This is part of Creation. God in action, indeed, is healing, growing energy, reality.


To be in touch with this kind of energy is to have your finger on the pulse of destiny, indeed. To be aware of effects of harmony and kinetic flow is beneficial to the recipient and the applicant. To be a circuit for these energies is to be energized by them. Any gift of healing is appreciated and is enjoyed by the devotee of such a service.


Those of you who are called to minister in this way are certainly blessed, as are those who are called upon to act as transmitter/ receivers, as are those of you who are called upon to act in the capacity that is correct for you. All ways are a gift. All ways that you may serve. Leah has a voice that is capable of tremendous service in that it is calming and competent. It is music, as Beryl's music is also healing and constructive, stimulating and inspiring and communicative.


The voice is a gift; the touch is a gift; there are so many ways to be of service. That which is right for you may be developed, but do not limit yourself in terms of how many ways you may serve the Father.


Iyana:             That was beautiful.  You explained it very nicely.  Thank you.

TOMAS:        Hunnah, are you replete?


MERIUM:     Hunnah is in limbo here. She will read the transcripts. We are in continuous agreement, you and I, so we are used to the smooth sailing and so you do not have to foil fatigue and we do not have to foil the telephone ringing or the chorus of the crickets and the night creatures.


TOMAS:        I would like to support your words earlier in terms of how dependent the mortal is upon words and even upon the written tran­scripts. I would like to point out that it is interesting how you have been able to be reinforced by the comfort of the written word, but as you begin to actually enact the truth of these lessons, your dependence upon the words are less and less.


Your craving now is for the assurance of your continued growth and relationship, but remember that there are still many who do not have the advantage of the fellowship that you enjoy. Those who are in relative isolation, socially speaking, are still hungry for the words themselves, and sometimes the transcripts are the only words they can savor on a regular basis; yet you fully realize and appreciate that as you grow in appreciation of the community of faithers and your own self-realization, your work and deeds are most evidential, and that the voluminous amounts of transcripts are indeed secondary if not tertiary.


It will never be permitted that you become overly dependent on your teachers as it is not permitted that you become over-dependent on other lesser substances. We are interested in the living truth and that is constantly growing, enlarging, expanding and illuminating. When we have become dead levels of non-reality, we will all shrivel up and die and so let's not go there. Let's keep this thing going forward.  Actually, I won't participate in a dying fire, much like you will not participate in the death of reality either. Not to worry.


Iyana:             When we read the transcripts or we listen to the transmissions, even though we can just listen and take in so much at a time, isn't that registered in our memory bank?


TOMAS:        It is not only registered in your memory bank, it is registered in your deep mind and in your subconscious, and so you have absorbed these truths on many levels. As they become, as you grow, you will be able to reflect upon the truth and so we are perhaps not so much teachers as we are re-enforcers, for your true teacher is your Indwelling Adjuster, and your true experience is your relationship with that pilot light of reality. We essentially trigger your hunger, we whet your appetite for truth, we urge you to seek the Father for reality and confirmation of reality, and we companion you as peers in your experience and in ours.


Iyana:             I see.


Rachel:           It's a never-ending changing comprehension of reality, isn't it? It makes you feel like you don't know where you're going or what you're doing. Sometimes I feel that way.


TOMAS:        Inward and upward is the direction.  Inward and upward.


Iyana:             Tomas, I have a question about energy. I hear some of our fellow members here speak about, "Boy do I feel the energy!" when everyone is around. When celestials come, "Oh, I feel the energy!" Now, I myself don't feel the energy. And I don't know why.


Leah:              I don't either.

TOMAS:        I am aware that you asked this same question two years ago, Iyana.

Iyana:             Yes.  I don't remember the answer.


TOMAS:        It is not the energy so much as personality, and it is not necessary that you identify invisible personalities or that you identify various energies. It is helpful if you are aware of the presence of God. If you are aware of the presence of God, you will know how it feels when it is not there, and that is the fundamental sense of energy that is necessary. Do not be overwhelmed or intimidated by others interpretations of energy or reality. Yours is quite wholesome. You know what's up.


Rachel:           Let's talk a minute about ... I was reading in the transcripts about following intuition.  Is that what that was? Intuitive direction?


TOMAS:        The Spirit of Intuition?

Rachel:           Yeah.  How far do you trust that?  I mean, truthfully.


TOMAS:        The first adjutant mind spirit's purpose is self-preservation. Self preservation is what keeps you from going down the third time when you are in the water. It is a fundamental animalistic response to life and it serves a vital function; it is one of the non-teachable levels of reality. It will carry you. You don't have to worry about that adjutant mind spirit. You will be the benefactor of this certainly as long as you remain in the flesh but it is not, by any means, all that you need to become sensitive to, for there are other adjutant mind spirits that also serve, and beyond the seven adjutant mind spirits there is the Spirit of Truth which supersedes them all, and so don't give too much credibility to only one basic instinct.


Rachel:           Okay, let's say I was in thought. In meditation, but in thought, as I say it. And let's say I have a question. Can I trust the answer that comes to mind? The first instinct. That's what I'm asking.


TOMAS:        You can take your first instinct and weigh it against what the Father would counsel you. Not always is the mind accurate at first blush, because of your conditioning. The conditioning of the animal is quite thorough and quite deep-seated.


You may have had some childhood experiences that would prejudice you against a situation. Let's say you were bit by a dog. You will never be comfortable around dogs. But if, for some reason, you are befriending an individual who has a seeing-eye dog, your instinct may be to avoid the person because they have a seeing-eye dog, but in counsel with the Father, you may realize that the greater purpose is to oversee, to overlook your fear of animals in order that you may serve in the capacity that you are needed. Do you see my point?


Rachel:           Yes.


TOMAS:        Always ask the Father in these instances. Remember that the first adjutant mind spirit has to do with the spirit of intuition and self-preservation. Self-preservation means fundamental survival. It is equated in terms of fear. The flight or fight or freeze responses to life, and not very highly evolved in terms of reason or even emotion. What was your question?


Rachel:           If you are contemplating something and contemplating an answer, not necessarily a survival mechanism, or anything fear based, simply, say -- If I were with a horse, in meditation, wishing to know what his problem was, can I trust what comes to mind? Do I have counsel?


TOMAS:        Yes.  And if you have integrity in taking your question to divinity, you will be able to get counsel and trust it.


Rachel:           Okay.  That's what I wanted to know.


TOMAS:        Look again to the seven adjutant mind spirits and realize that you, as a human being, share five of them with the animal realm, and so you can identify to a great degree with that animal and have an affinity, a 5/7th affinity with that animal in addition you have the adjutants of wisdom and worship. The wisdom will help you apply your understanding of your own being to the being of the beast.


Rachel:           Okay.  So we share with them five.

TOMAS:        Yes.

Rachel:           So this is how we communicate.

TOMAS:        Yes.

Rachel:           How do you develop that?


TOMAS:   You have already developed it quite a bit because of your affinity with the animal that you serve.


Rachel:           I want to develop it more.  I want to be very comfortable with it.


TOMAS:        You are becoming more competent, but I will suggest to you that although you are offering a gift of a certainty, in devoting yourself to the maintenance and nurturance of these animals, it is a limited service, for you are not going to see these beasts in the mansion worlds. That is to say they are not indwelt ...


Rachel:           Okay.


TOMAS:        ... with the Father, and so you will always be working in the realm of the animal, and your own growth will be stunted to some extent as a result of your devotion to a cause, a lesser cause than the inclusion of the eternal spirit. You will work with human beings, the owners of these animals, and to some extent you may be able to access them, their Thought Adjuster, their God consciousness, and so forth.


Rachel:           Oh, I try to.


TOMAS:        But if your work is with the animal, then you must realize a certain limitation. This is not to say that your service is not valuable and good. These are indeed the creatures of the earth that have been created by the Creator. They are loved by him in accordance with their standing, their value and so forth. They are part of this wonderful creation, this Urantia which is a shrine to Michael. All work that is done in service to Michael is honorable work indeed.


Rachel:           You're saying the real purpose is with our peers, our brothers and sisters.


TOMAS:        I am a teacher of spiritual truth, my child. I am accustomed to working with those who put themselves forth as being apostles and disciples of the gospel, which has to do with that eternal reality which we will forward into eternity. I am not overlooking the growth of Urantia, not by a long shot, because as the spirit is developed in the human animal, then all of Urantia will benefit. Its water will become clearer, therefore its fishes will benefit; its lands will become cleaner, therefore its foliage will benefit; its air will become purer and its birds will benefit; all of these future plans are in store for Urantia because his soul will be stirred to believe in the truth, beauty and goodness of our Father, of His Creator Son.


It is not an exclusive ministry of apostles and disciples of the spirit. The Correcting Time incorporates all manner of advanced movements, all manner of individuals interested in furthering the cause of truth, beauty and goodness no matter how it is presented to them.  The Eastern Avatars, the Western Christians, there are many, many individuals working on their peculiar gifts of the spirit that advances in its own peculiar way. Perhaps I am smiling and suggesting that you are peculiar.


Rachel:           We probably are.  We have lots of peculiar ways down here.


Iyana:            I was reading in the paper about a man who came back to live in Pittsburgh and he had a notation and he was saying there was so much going on here in Pittsburgh with different ministries and the churches and everything, how the City is coming alive, and you have said often that maybe there will be a school here in this area, and I was just wondering if there is a lot going on that we don't know about.


TOMAS:        I think you have asked a loaded question. There is always a lot going on that we don't know about, even things that I am not aware of, because there are so many diverse avenues of appreciation of the Infinite Spirit, and yet when it is necessary, I and you will be apprised and incorporated. It is part of the weaving of the tapestry. And yet, on the other hand, I don't think there is anything going on that is an indication that you are missing anything, and that falls under the same truth.


RACHEL:      Ethan had a question. What do you do with a little boy who continually breaks the same window over and over again and no matter how many times you talk nicely to him and try to show him the right way to go about things, he's just mean and ornery; he keeps on breaking this window. I suppose it's .... He probably wants to whoop the tar out of the boy and I say there's got to be a better way, so his question is, how would you stop the little boy?


TOMAS:        It is an odd question indeed for you to present to your teachers, Ethan, for it is a matter of maintaining your civil laws, not so much having to do with the spiritual laws. I am certain I could care less if the window is broken or not. If it is, however, a matter of importance to you, in your civil behaviors, then you need to bring it to the attention of the lad, individually at first, and then as a pair or a committee, and consult with him as is set out in your text, and present the difficulty to him so that he can understand how it is that he is affecting you individually, Ethan, or the community in and of itself, for one who continually breaks the rules is one who could present a problem later in terms of the society in which he lives.


As the child can be made to understand the communal purpose, the communal ideal, and the communal strength, it may influence his behavior. If he continues and persists in his flagrant refusal to obey a group ruling, then he may be punished by the "group and/or he may be commended for mental adjustment, some sort of counseling as to why he has a persistent need/yearning to (a) defy authority, (b) listen to the tinkle of shattering glass, and (c) see a hole in that particular window. I am amused by the question. I am certain Ethan is not amused by the problem.


Rachel:           It's hypothetical. He just wanted to ask. I'm just the bearer of the question.


TOMAS:        I am very glad that Ethan desired to be here with us this evening. I am accepting his presence in and through is emissary and his question. I am also delighted to hear his inquiry and to attempt to respond to his involvement, but I would and the others would appreciate seeing him in person.


Rachel:           Yes.

Iyana:             Tomas, has Damien arrived safely and will he be okay?


TOMAS:        I can assure that he is going to be fine and, like you, will not be in instant heaven, but it will be an on-going healing and advancing into perfection. He sends his affection and appreciation to his family here in this vicinity, for you are indeed his family and he well knows it.


Rachel:           Please tell him we all wish him well.

TOMAS:        He will be advised.




TOMAS:        I am Tomas. I am back after your intermission. I have enjoyed all of your intriguing interchanges. I have heard and acknowledged the request by Fraline for a male teacher. I have observed and have shared with Merium our interest in your concerns about being addicted to transcripts. I would like for you, Hunnah, to reiterate for the record the specific concern if you will.


Hunnah:          Well, we were discussing among ourselves -- Gerdean and I -- about our dependency on the transcripts, and it sounds almost ignorant to say it this way, but it's sort of like this is why you teachers are here, to speak through us and then we catch the words and put them down and we oooh and aaah over them, and I just sort of wondered how you felt about this and what are the plans about this through you.


Is there some kind of a plan? If we were in school you would say, "We are going to bring you to this point." I understand we are far from perfection, but is there going to be a change in the delivery? Do you want us to spend some more time in the silence and then maybe produce our own form of transcript? Or is there something that you can tell us? Am I appropriate?


TOMAS:        Questions are always appropriate, Hunnah, and investigations into behaviors are also always appropriate because it does, you see, keep it fresh, it keeps it from becoming dead, as we discussed earlier.  You have, however, overlooked one important and salient fact and that is there is a lot more to your involvement than transmitting and reading transcripts. You are completely overlooking the living reality of your own spiritual growth as a result of our association, not only yours personally but you each and as a community.


I am going to remind you, since evidently you are unaware of it, but your group has developed/flowered into a fragrant configuration of individuals / of believers with such a viable degree of reality as to be barely unrecognizable from that which you were even five years ago, and so your realities have grown immensely and not just evolved but have grown as a result of revelation.


And I am glad to say that I am a part of the revelation, as is my able colleague Merium and as are the other teachers who partake of this platform of teaching. It is our hope that the Melchizedek University will take root here, as is the hope of any and all viable teachers, of course. If it does not take root here, we will appreciate and support where it does take hold, but even so, we have a good classroom here, we have a viable teacher base, we have had a lot of fruit produced here in this section of the country, fruit that is feeding hungry souls far and wide. We are no slouch.


It is our hope also, and our intent that our method will spread into other communities, even though there is some anxiety about so much paper work (unrelated to trees). There is also the very viable truth that the teachers are able to bring you to a degree of focus that you crave, indeed that your Thought Adjuster desires for you, and so if it were not transcribed, that is one thing, but if we did not teach and be with you, that would be quite another.


It is very important for us to be part of your socialization, and I say important for us communally, because, do not overlook that we teachers are gaining invaluable experience also by our association with you. Do not think that you are the only ones who benefit from this association. You are essentially being of service to us in your coming together in this fashion, for reasons that are beyond your understanding, but I will reflect back to you again and reiterate that your own personal growth, your own actualization is very, very viable because of our association.


There are (and I will borrow this from Gerdean's software) -- Let me get it. One moment. I tell you her mind is a steel trap. She won't let me in. She is so difficult. She is so defensive and protective of herself. It is pitiful, I tell you pitiful, what has happened to you individuals, you people here on this very difficult world. How defensive you are. One moment please.


MERIUM:     I will tell you, while we do this, rummaging around in Gerdean's attic and I have to tell you I was listening to Tomas and all I could think of, as I looked into Hunnah's portfolio, was the word turtle shell. How, when things are rolling along, you roll over on your back and show us the soft side, and as soon as you become the least bit uncomfortable, you flip over and we have a tortoise-shell to deal with. Does that help, Tomas?


I mean this well but it is true you are fear-based, and in need of constant encouragement and approval and it is not your fault, it is simply the environment in which you live; you have inherited this. So you have our understanding and I hope that you are allowing yourself to see this more and more objectively.


Hunnah has been saying, since she has had a different life-style these last few months, that she is so aware of the human behavior that it is mind-boggling to her because she is constantly seeing this human behavior in herself and it is both perplexing and informative. Are you ready to go again, Tomas?


TOMAS:        Thank you, Merium, yes, and I appreciate your cooperation in this context. The reference in Gerdean's experience has to do with the fact that in the 12-step programs, they often suggest that it is a course of brainwashing, and in fact and indeed it is. And I will give the analogy in the Teaching Mission we are in a form of spiritual brain-washing because we are pulling you into yet another reality, a new approach to life itself: the revelation of God con­sciousness and how that impacts upon your interactions with others.


As you were saying, Merium, in the human experience, it is apparent today, that you can see more of yourself and the purpose of the experience; you can see how you have been conditioned; you can see how you react and how you impact others by your reactions and responses far better than you were able to see even six months ago, and this is because of our incessant prodding and prompting you to look at your own reality and improve upon the situation because of your own self-realization, your God-consciousness in the face of your humanness. It is an on-going course.


It would be very easy perhaps, certainly in your minds, for your instructors to say, "This is the curriculum, it will be a four year study; after two years we want a semi-final and at the end of which we will have internship and somewhere in there, there will be a thesis." However it is not cut and dried like that because it depends altogether upon how it is that you grow and are willing to be led in the spirit, for Michael himself is the Dean of this university, this school, and only he can ascertain when it is that we are ready for a new course.


Indeed we are still working on the fundaments of Human Associations and we well may be in this course for a millennia, as we are plod on in our understanding of how we tick, and how the other guy ticks, and do we tick synchronistically or harmoniously or are we in conflict and why?


Hunnah:          I am so glad that we are talking about this because I'm seeing it as much more of a reality than I have in the past. I used to have a teacher at one time, who would tell us when we went on our four and five day retreats, that we were in "college" and I always felt like I wasn't in school, but that I was in a sense at a homecoming, and it didn't seem like work to me because it was so satisfying and so renewing, and when you're in that protected environment you feel so much lighter because the lab work seems to be left outside. As you talk I see this almost as an apprentice­ship or a hands on course.


Also, you're talking about the university. A university in the old sense is very threatening to me, but in the sense that if I was allowed to be tutored intimately in the way I have been for the last many years, it's almost like a painless affair because you have somebody constantly with you to help you along to the degree that you tap it.


TOMAS:        Aha!  And there you have the new definition you have been seeking. Hunnah:   It's almost like it's a correspondence course, and yet it's hands on.

TOMAS:        It is "The Impersonal Life" personalized.


Hunnah:          Very good. Yes, very good. We passed that book around this evening, for our feather, "The Impersonal Life". But it makes me -- we did not do the subject justice. It sounded critical and unappreciative, when we were talking about being hooked on words, but what we're doing is we're connecting with energy ...


TOMAS:        Yes.

Hunnah:          and what we are doing every time we read these papers is we are reconnecting ourself with our new reality.


TOMAS:        You are reaffirming. Even in due course you may read them as if they were anecdotes or a slice of life or a short story, but you will remember fondly the lesson you were learning at the time and how you stumbled over it and how you were antagonistic in the situation, but how it was resolved and now how the love of the Father shines through. You will begin to see, even through these transcripts, how you have grown over the course of time.


But you are correct to remember that it is not the written words that is at issue here, it is the growth of the soul, the development of character, the profusion of personality that will allow for the Father to be manifest in your world.  In due course your fragrance will be so contagious and compatible that the genuine love of life in and through an understanding of spirit reality will be so great as to incorporate all of humanity, at least such a considerable amount as will make a significant difference in your life, in the lives of others, and which will point toward a brighter future for your progeny.


Leah:              I'm not attempting to single anybody out, but it is my understanding in the Book, Tomas, that it must be at the comprehension of the lowest member.


Hunnah:          I've heard that.  Or a nation.  You could say a community, couldn't you? Leah:             Something like that.  I'm not sure.


TOMAS:        I will revert here and become somewhat controversial, but I am reminded of the native planet I come from. You will recall that I was an archeologist of a sort, a cultural anthropologist, and I went from my sophisticated little office in my civilized little arena into the "jungle" of a swarming, teeming tribe of mortality.


Your text speaks of a neighboring planet, world, wherein its more sophisticated and advanced elements severed themselves from the lesser tribes outside, and although Merium's home world did not involve such a segregation, there was not such a need on her smaller and more homogenous world, it is a way of dealing with some of the defects of a misguided and dysfunctional way of life such as is found on your planet.


It is possible that it will become necessary, in order to develop a plateau of functioning of spiritual reality, that you will have to segregate yourselves from the lesser types who will incessantly pull you down and I say these words in response to your having mentioned the difficulties of the universal law that no one can rise higher than the lowest element, as in "water seeks its own level".


This will be determined not by me or by you but by the growth of the era itself. Indeed we are all here in anticipation of success, in the most altruistic sense, and yet the actualization of His will on Urantia will unfold according to His will as it may be manifested. And so it will be an adventure for us all, will it not? And so you see why it is why we cannot predict. It is because we do not know.


Leah:              I was thinking more in terms of when Hunnah was asking "is there an agenda?" I guess I was asking for some reassurance that when we all equalize then probably we will have a task to do.


TOMAS:        You have a task to do before you equalize.

Leah:              I mean as a group.  As a group.

TOMAS:        You are speaking of your community?


Leah:              This particular community, yes.  The people in this group, in this locality here.


TOMAS:        Your community is fairly well stabilized already, in-as-much as you have become familiar with each other in terms of your sibling association. You have all grown spiritually, you have observed each other's strengths and weaknesses and you have stood by each other in your context as spirit-born, God-knowing sons and daughters of God. You are coagulated in that context; that is the important context. Individually you all vary and that will continue to be the case. There will be new ones who come in; there will be some who move away; and this fluctuation will occur for a long time, but the core element of family has been established. Your oneness is evident, if not to you, it is to us.


Rachel:           I personally can't see us graduating. We'd have to be dead, wouldn't we! There's not enough time on this planet to learn all you have to teach.


Hunnah:          Amen.

TOMAS:        I will not discourage you from hoping to fuse.

Group:            Oh, wow.

Rachel:           I didn't have that on the agenda.  I don't think that's attainable.

Hunnah:          That's some carrot.


TOMAS:        I will remind you that perhaps 30 years ago Gerdean had a moment of realization that the kingdom of heaven is within you and that we are part of the greater universe now. Can you imagine the exhilaration of that realization to this human who was always taught to believe that the future was in some remote and distant place and that the universe was unrelated to a mere mortal?


The belonging to the universe as a viable member of a living organism -- indeed, a personality who belongs in the family of faithers throughout eternity, and that the kingdom of heaven within is what attaches you to this greater spectrum -- is possible now. Do not put off to tomorrow what you can entertain today as a viable possibility if not a reality.


It is true you come from a very dysfunctional planet, but each of you has an association with your indwelling spirit that enables you to devote yourself so fully with its purposes that these diffi­culties can be transcended and amended at once in the marriage between your desire to do His will and His desire to hold you eternally in its grasp. Fear not, and despair not, children, for your future is assured. Grasp it, and let us go forward.


Hunnah:          Thank you. I feel this has been very exhilarating, because while you were talking, I was reflecting on my spiritual journey and I was thinking of the early years of the introduction of the Christian teaching that came in little bits and pieces and became a flotation collar in my fearful sense of self, and how it developed, and when I was introduced to Casey's writing, he introduced us to meditation. For the first time this was a possibility, and all the new concepts that came in, in just three years of association with his writings! And then I was introduced to Joel Goldsmith who introduced a greater universe, a living universe of new ideas and concepts, and the time period I was with that; and now I can still remember one of the first times I had what I would call a far-reaching meditation in the sense of having been lifted and thrown out into the universe.


And now I can sit on my own porch and feel as if the distance has been shortened to a moment. That I am where I want to go. I mean, the path is so completed; the trunk-line of communication is so developed, and that parallels to the leaps and bounds of material­ism that we have seen here during this time as well, and it does give a person confidence that, yes, this is the way that it will be, but the word that was given to me was "my destiny" and there was a time where that word would never even be in my vocabulary, that I would have a personal destiny, and that came through when my daughter was T/R'ing, that we all have a destiny and some of us receive copies of the intent of our purpose in such a way that it was very real to me, even in the fact that it was sketchy.


TOMAS:        Yes.  A glimpse.


Hunnah:          Yes. The real possibility. And you go from like hope and trust and then Yes! Yes! Joel used to teach: "What have you in your house?" which was a word for living in the new reality, and that's what I feel now when I let myself remember that I do feel that way. That's what keeps me from getting discouraged is because I have found a way to know that I am living the new reality.


TOMAS:        And now you are sharing your living reality with others of integrity and beauty.


Hunnah:          Yes.  Who are receptive.

TOMAS:        Yes.


Hunnah:          And they are coming in fast, too, and not to have them sitting in a row or at a lectern, but they meet many people, just like we have, that will be connected. There will be many, and we might spend only a casual conversation with them but it will be lightening quick, maybe, for them. And they'll meet somebody a week later and have that reinforced. It will come from a different direction. And so if you call this university, this word, this umbrella, -- Is that the university?


TOMAS:        Yes, dear.

Hunnah:          The living ...?

TOMAS:        The living, viable experience.


Hunnah:          Okay. That helps. Because, what's the word we use? We are literal minded. So we are all expecting the mortar and the bricks to arrive.


TOMAS:   No.


Hunnah:          And a job. Carolyn Myss talks very poignantly about expecting our relationship with God to be in the form of a job. And she gets on that, and that's our old conditioning, and it isn't a job at all.


TOMAS:        In program terms, you have a new employer. He, God, gives you something to do and he provides the materials for you to do it. He gives you the remuneration for your efforts. Yes.


Rachel:           [Laughter]  He does?

Leah:              Urn hum.

Rachel:           I keep waiting.


Hunnah:          You were talking about the Reiki -- that was brought up earlier -- and when you just said remuneration and a laugh of doubt, I felt the same way when I was talking to that woman who taught me Reiki III and we were talking about monetary payment for the services, and there were several there that were capable of rendering much service, but we didn't know how to get from point A to point B, but it's like you say, we are developing this skill that will help people, but we — it's the marketing ....


Rachel:           I feel it's a personal mission because the Mother took the time to come and teach me this, so to me it's personal, but nobody wants to pay me for it.


Hunnah:          That's exactly another thing we run into here, and Gerdean has certainly run into this, we say, "Oh, the Father has allowed me to do this, but I wish it was paying the bills better," and I guess that's been going on forever.


TOMAS:        Seek ye first the kingdom and all these things will be added unto you.


Hunnah:          That's right. That's right. Even if it means that your concept of what payment is changes. That's okay. Once your concept of remuneration is purified, we start to see our provision in a different light.


Rachel:           I have seen that in some of my healing, when I have seen that, and that's a reward. That's a far greater reward than money, but it still doesn't pay the bills.


TOMAS:        The majority of souls are truly rich but they refuse to believe it.


Hunnah:          Oh, and then there's that mockery from those who aren't even on this wave length. They think its pie in the sky.


TOMAS:        This is another reason why I am delighted to be a part of your brainwashing. [Group laughter] I am going to sign off. It has been a long evening and a productive one. Merium, thank you for co-working with me and we'll see you soon. Good night.


Group:            Thank you.  Good night.



DATE:                        August 11, 1998

LOCATION:              Butler, PA, USA

T/R’s:                         Gerdean, Hunnah and Erata


Group:                        Hunnah, Erata, Fraline, Leah, lyana, and Gerdean

TEACHER SESSION:  [Not recorded]*

* Midwayer SONGBIRD gave her third lesson on comparing the third chakra with the third adjutant mind spirit and asked us to look it up in The Life Carriers Paper and give it some thought, as an aide in our teaching ministry.

MERIUM spoke through Gerdean, Erata and Hunnah regarding our understanding of human relationship: what makes associations pleasant, what makes them difficult, how do we know when to honor the time and space involved in maintaining them, and when or where do we draw the line? We are told to love our enemies. Who are they?



DATE:                        August 18, 1998

LOCATION:              Butler, PA, USA

T/R’s:                         Gerdean, Hunnah


Group:                        Evangel, Erata, Fraline, Hunnah, Gerdean, lyana and Leah


The Illusion of Control

 How  will they know I am there?


TOMAS (Gerdean):    Good evening, my children and my friends. I am Tomas, your teacher. I interrupt your tranquility here hopefully not intrusively but complimentarily, as I have been inspired by the flock of geese overhead en route to their new winter environs.


I am reminded, indeed, of our on-going study and how it is that I promised to discuss to some extent the human condition that involves control, and I call to your mind that at this very moment Our Father is in control, and feel and see how gracious it is, this peace that passes all understanding, the music of nature abiding by its inherent pattern, each of you absorbed in your own reflection of your reality in and through your relationship with divinity and nature.


It is unnecessary in this space to attempt to manifest control over anything including yourself, for you are engaged in an on-going receptivity, acceptance and communion with that power which gives you life itself, guiding and directing you, enforcing you and enabling you, empowering you, to do that which you will do when you resume your locomotion and your will. As you leave stillness and decree to yourself that it is your will that His will be done, then to the extent that you remember that you are in co-creation with your partner in paradise, you will act divinely and in accordance with the harmonious chords of eternity.


It is of course a human consideration that when you are given an environment over which to have authority, you must also manifest control; and the fine line comes when you try to ascertain where the authority leaves off and the control takes up. If you have authority only over your own existence, in terms of your will being in submission, active submission to His will, you give up control. You have given all control to the Creator.


It is however such a human condition to take the reigns in that area in which you have your authority, your arena, your environment. In many cases it involves your home, your neighborhood, your village, your government, your planet, your very universe. When one comes along in an attempt to control the universe, you can be assured that you will run into difficulty. Even as you attempt to control your village or your home, you have problems and even as you attempt to control yourself you will discover how difficult that, too, can be without divine help.


There is a contemporary phrase in your jargon called "control freak" and there are those who find this condition witty, as if it were the new competition, the new league of sportsmanship, to see who can out-manipulate the other in terms of control. It is an insidious game indeed. It is only when you give up control, relinquish your illusion of control, that you have the freedom then to operate within the rules of perfection, for the Father is the Controller, the Upholder of the Universe.


Always remember, when you encounter someone who is embarked on a vigilance adorned in control, it is a result of an anxiety that the Father perhaps is not noticing that something needs done. Now that would seem to be a dichotomy in terms, for have we not said, "It is my will that His will be done, and are we not co-creators? In that case, is it not my responsibility to manifest some control so that His will can be done? Is not my control His control? Can I not borrow on Him, the Great Upholder, to control my own environment? And my own behaviors?" It is a rhetorical question, for control is not the key word. It is not necessary.


Mastery involves relinquishing control as well as the behavior. It is truly giving it up to God, for from Him you get, you develop, and you devote those energies that are conscriptions of the perfect pattern. Indeed it is in Him wherein you have your very being. We have spoken to you of the lily pads and how it is that when you are operating in accordance with His will you step willingly and gently from one prepared lily pad to the next and watch life unfold before you, This is a result of giving up control, for when you try to control, you will sink. You become a dead weight that sinks to the bottom of the pond.


It is very difficult for all of you, I understand/ we understand, for control is a large part of your defense mechanism and your survival technique, but as you become aware of your attempts to control, as you see reflected others attempts at control, you will see that these illusions are great time-consuming chunks of energy, detracting from the delight of the way of the Lord, whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light.


That is my formal lesson for the evening. I am going to subside, in-as-much as there are others here. Perhaps we would do well to take an intermission.


Leah:              May I ask a question first?

Iyana:             May I ask a question before we take intermission?

TOMAS:        We may.  Leah?


Leah:              When you were speaking, perhaps I misunderstood you, but you made some kind of a statement that maybe the Father wouldn't be aware of some anxiety that you had. I thought the Father always knew. Or was that a rhetorical phrase?


TOMAS:        I regret that my phrasing was such that you did not perceive it. Indeed, the Father knows. The anxiety was a human anxiety that perhaps the Father did not know what was going on in His own universe.


Leah:              I understand now, thank you.

TOMAS:        It is the human ego that has the kind of anxiety that would step in to fix it.

Leah:              I understand.

TOMAS:        For the Creator.

Leah:              Thank you.


Iyana:             I have found that I have been having to give up my control. I was always in charge, so to speak, and now I find out that I'm NOT in charge and I'm -- Not being in charge I have to ask others for help, which means that I've been turning to you more and more, and my assistants, because I need your help.


TOMAS:        Indeed, daughter, it is true. It is beloved of you to realize that we are no longer independent entities but we are becoming a Team, a family. We are an organism, a living, loving organism, and this living entity, indeed, this Evolving Supreme, is interdependent.


It is wise for you to have an understanding of your own identity, your own uniqueness, your own individuality. It is important that you understand who you are so that you can make those necessary decisions which will foster your reality, your spiritizing process, but having an understanding of who you are does not give you carte blanch to forge your way to Paradise by yourself. You can do this in stillness to a degree, but socially speaking, you are part of an organism which depends more and more upon the spirit to guide and direct its growth.


It is a big lesson that you are learning. It is never-the-less one that must be embraced in order for us all to learn to depend upon the Divine Upholder, He who upholds us all, individually and collectively. You will share and show others by your example in this process of, yes, humbling yourself to realize you cannot do it alone.


Iyana:             Thank you.

TOMAS:        Thank you.  We will be in recess.




PEARL (Erata):           What an exchange! Many thoughts came through as you talked about the control issue: the hurt feelings, things of that nature. Why is it that people want to take control, first off? Do not the birds in the air trust the Father to provide the food that they need? They have little brains and they trust; why is it that the human cannot completely trust the Father to provide not only for their well-being but also for their care.


Why is it that the human cannot believe that every situation it is brought into is a learning experience. Do you not understand that if you do not learn from one situation, that situation will be repeated many times until you understand your lesson? Do you understand that? Many times you will have a same scenario. Maybe a different pace, a different person, a different location, but until you understand that you are to learn from that, it will be repeated until you get it right.


Now, the Father provides everything for you. All you have to do is to trust Him. In other words: "Go with the flow" as many say, and trust Him to guide you, to lead you, to protect you as you go on your journey. As you run into difficult people, treat them with love and respect. When you treat a person with love and respect, you will be surprised by their reactions toward you.


Keep the tongues from being sharp so that you do not pierce a person's heart with your tongue and see what happens. When people are hurt by the tongue, it leads to hurt feelings. What you really want is for everyone to be in unity, and if you hurt another by your talk, by your actions, your selfishness, and then that only sets you apart. Do you understand that?


There are many people that you run into and they all affect your life. Some become like warm friends and some you've just seen and known for awhile, but what you can learn from each other and what they can go on to teach others that they have learned from you, only benefits the journey, our mission here. I feel badly when I hear people talk about not being able to accept one another as they are here, because it hurts the Father that people cannot treat another as a father would treat them.


Sometimes it seems as if you are always in the right but think again; perhaps it is the selfishness that is coming out. Perhaps control leads to selfishness also, and this world needs to be working on their selflessness, being able to give to another without accepting anything back. There are many people that are quite needy and need to have that extra kindness extended to them from one who has learned the lesson of selflessness.


There is no need to be controlling. The Father is always in control, but what happens is that the person balks at the control of the Father. That causes dilemmas. The Father has one issue; the human has another issue. And so when you come in conflict with the Father in that way, then that causes ripples in your life. If you could always ask the Father, what is His will and go with that.


Always try to follow what the Father is leading you to do, even if it is something that is not acceptable to you, but it will always be right. We have always been put in different situations where we have to deal with difficult individuals. If you could think of how Christ treated the lepers, how he treated the woman that had had many relationships; he accepted them where they were. He extended love to them. In return he was also loved by them. There is not one person who would not respond to the loving touch.


There are many in our society that do not appear as a leper, with the disgusting appearance of a leper, but people treat them as such because they are not of the same category in the society levels, and so therefore they are shunned, but if you accept everyone as a child of God then you have no trouble responding to them in the appropriate ways that you should respond. Do you understand?


Hunnah:          That was a very beautiful discourse and what I hear you saying is: Choose you this day whom you shall serve. And when we get hung up on evaluating the human variables, then we lose time and we lose our focus.


PEARL:          Yes.


Hunnah:          I have a question about payment. In the Reiki teaching, the founder was leaning on a Buddhist observation that when you give something of worth then there should be something in return and he left the "uninvolved" because they would not take advantage of the uplift that they received through their healing and go forward. They preferred to stay on a lower level that did not require any effort on their part, even though it involved some suffering, and he moved to a group of people that showed an inclination to respond and they paid for the services.


If there is any fresh thought on that. For example, there is a lot of scorekeeping in service rendered by human behavior, good works, but when it is given in thoughtless harmony, there doesn't seem to be any necessity for that. Would you comment on 'that? I hope I have made myself clear enough to stimulate a thought in the matter.


PEARL:          Are you trying to say that to give the Reiki is not right without payment?


Hunnah:          That's what is taught through the teachings and there was an understanding behind it which was of value and merit, but when I -- I have trouble with that.


PEARL:          Reiki is providing an energy healing environment for an individual who is suffering, perhaps. You provide relief for a person. While you are giving the Reiki, you also enjoy some energy and healing also, is that not right?


Hunnah:          That's absolutely true.


PEARL:          So, if you are offering Reiki to a friend, you are giving what you are getting also. Would that not balance payment?


Hunnah:          In my mind it would, but it is one of the teachings that goes with it, because we are unconsciously doing favors all day long. If you go across the room and you help somebody that has a headache, you don't think a thing about it; that person's always in a form of service themselves. But ... I find that scorekeeping is quite tiresome.


PEARL:          There is nothing wrong with accepting payment for services rendered, however there are other alternatives. As I said before, you also gain a new gift, and as you give here on this earth plane, you also receive your store-treasures when you come into the kingdom. So you offer your services because of the way you are, the way you do things, without intentions for a cash exchange.


Hunnah:          Mother Theresa served the Christ and that sort of took care of everything mentally for her. It did away with this constant equation that goes on -- There was something else I was going to mention to you about this flow of service. Oh! Gratitude. In these different states of consciousness, there are different variables of gratitude or appreciation, and there is an almost spontaneous return in some way. But it's something that's dealt with here, and the constant keeping of records and keeping track of  IOU's …


I did several, maybe four treatments for someone and I really forgot about it, but when I really needed something, I called her and she said, "Well, I owe you." And then I realized that she had kept this ledger all this time. In my mind it was too bad that she felt in herself that she had to do that.


PEARL:          Yes, I understand what you are saying. Perhaps when you are doing a service for an individual, as you serve the Christ, and you really do not require payment for that, and then allow them to know that so that you will not have to run into that kind of situation.


Hunnah:          I like what you said about having oil left in your lamp. That's a good reminder when you do Reiki, since that's the example, that you are also serviced as well.


PEARL:          Do you not think that the Christ provides you with the talents to also help him do his service and provide for his loved ones here?


Hunnah:          Well, let's go beyond Reiki, since it's the new kid on the block here, but let us say you take soup over to someone. I'm talking about having the feeling of award. You might have a sense of satisfaction, but the whole time you're preparing the soup, you have been cared for. If you decided to make the soup the day before and then realized that you had enough to give someone else, that in itself is also tending to yourself. So no one's every really left out, unless they shut down, I guess.


PEARL:          And they shut down because they don't know to trust.


Gerdean:        I wonder if, again, how these things seem to be a process and we've come across the subject of the exchange, the ledger, and I wonder if that isn't a remnant of control from the old god whose ledger would indicate good deeds and bad deeds, and that if we do so many good deeds it will rule out the bad deeds (that we have done) and so we ourselves are keeping track of our merit or the merit of others in a control fashion, to keep up with this God of the Old Testament.


PEARL:          When you come to do kindness without a second thought and to do it and forget about it as if it was just given freely, then you have stepped one step closer to the kingdom, you see.


Gerdean:        I do see! And it would also be very helpful then, from my peers, if they were to understand that and think in those terms rather than in the ways of the world which reinforce the old reality and contribute to undermining your motivation to serve.


PEARL:          Yes.

Iyana:             Sometimes they feel like they don't want to be obligated to someone.

PEARL:          Scorekeepers do not win.


Hunnah:          Sometimes you might contribute to some things because ... It's like, I contribute to the light bill, not the cause. The cause is stated; it's established, but they have their bills to pay and it's just a matter of contributing to the upkeep of that good intention, and it doesn't deserve any particular ... more attention than that.


People tithe to the church. They call it tithing, but I would give to the church because I know that they have a light bill and a heating bill. That's just my way of getting away from the keeping track of the ... Tithing. I never liked the phrase. It's like moving into my house and telling me what to do.


PEARL:          It should be given without thought.

Hunnah:          Yeah.

Gerdean:        Freely have you received, freely give.  And it does work!

Evangel:         Not necessarily to a church, but to life’s circumstances.

Hunnah           Yeah.


PEARL:          You might have a cause that is particularly dear to your heart so you offer this monies to whoever needs it, because there are many, many organizations who hound you with mail and you have to decide if you want to honor it, but you also have to decide whether the individuals or groups you offer your moneys to, do the Father's work, because there are many that take your money and vacation in the Bahamas with it, and so you have to be careful that you do not provide someone with a luxury when you want to have your monies used for necessity, for selfless service.


Gerdean:        I had another thought there about the control discourse that responds to what you were saying. Indeed, it was a lovely discourse, but it really does call to mind the fruit of the spirit of "forgiving tolerance" because just being tolerant is also a way of being controlling. You can still maintain your pompous attitude, but by having a forgiving tolerance, you have given up control; you have an understanding of the ledger, the fear-base that goes into that kind of an attitude.


PEARL:          Many times when a person is controlling, there is fear, and if you extend understanding as well then it will all be brought to you for you will be able to treat the individual with a kindness that perhaps you would not have been, had you not received that understanding.


Gerdean:        I appreciate your supportive words.

PEARL:          You are welcome.

Hunnah:          The word tolerance to me is just an indication of strength.

PEARL:          It is a strong word.


Gerdean:        I don't mean to seem like I'm trying to be in control or anything, but [Group laughter] would it be okay to take another intermission?


Iyana:             Yeah.  Sounds good.  I second the motion.




MACHIVENTA:       I am Machiventa.

Group:                        Welcome.  Hello!


MACHIVENTA:       I would like to come in and surprise visit with you. You do not realize perhaps that I am often checking in and yet in-as-much as it seems you are engaging in an on-going spirit quest, I have not disrupted your services; and yet it is a duty, a respon­sibility, a joy, a privilege to sometimes come in and acknowledge your growth, your strides, your ascension accomplishments.


I am particularly enchanted by your new set of vocal chords here. Erata, we are extremely pleased with your willingness to serve and your conscientious ability to allow the words of the celestial helper to emanate so clearly through your willing circuits. We are always pleased when one of the mortals on-lines, and in particular we are encouraged because it bespeaks yet another voice in concert with the Divine Minister and the Conjoint Actor in essaying to elevate the consciousness, the enlightenment, of Urantia. The Supreme itself rejoices in your consecration of choice.


We are enchanted indeed with your entire community which, although smaller than it was once, has congealed into a ruby of glistening light and ripe red power. We are in the Teaching Mission aware of all your efforts and of your individual integrity. It has been a joy observing Tomas develop his chicken coop and it has been a joy to observe our Merium hang curtains. We are very glad of you here, and now we are engaged in adding yet new and more energies and potential personalities to the pot. We salute you in your efforts and in your accomplishments, indeed.


I know that our lady friend would like to be invited to share this platform, as well she should. I have heard it recommended that I give a vote of confidence to Hunnah who has an assignment up­coming. It co-incidentally falls upon the eve of your celebration of Michael's birthday. It is perhaps a birthday gift to him that she will bring the Spirit of Truth to her presentation in her words to a group of individuals who seek understanding of the spirit of healing, and who better to convey information about the healing effects of the Mother, than that voice which speaks for Merium on a regular basis?


I and we are confident of the radiance of bubbling truth which will emanate from your soul, Hunnah, and we are not in absence of you on Thursday but working in the field together.  I am going to bow out. It has been a pleasure as always, to be with you, to add my two cents as it were, and I am not gone, but only silenced. Good evening.


Iyana:             Thank you for coming.


MERIUM:     Thank YOU for coming!  Is that not a wonderful surprise, to have our great one, a source of guidance, to come by and say, "Good work, good work." Thank you.  I think I will talk about -- and I am amused because Hunnah doesn't have a clue -- a form of spontaneous combustion.  This upcoming event for Hunnah has, within it, a bit of information that you are not aware of perhaps. It is interesting to see the fluctuating responsiveness. Let me tell you to get out your chalk and I am going to let you have some visualization.


In this upcoming event, the subject is Light, and this light is so powerful that Hunnah will be able to bridge the gulf of language and perceptions / old concepts and receptivity to new concepts, but what I was going to tell you is that, very long ago, in order to let people know he was in town, a healer carried a torch by day. He carried a torch with him into the marketplaces so people could see that he was available to assist. It sounds primitive, yet it was such a wonderful thought. It was a wonderful form of communication. How will people know that you are available?


There is a puzzlement. How will they know? How to let them know I am here? Do you understand what I mean by that statement? You have been given gifts; you are allowed to serve effortlessly, but in your higher mind, you are asking: how will I let them know that I am here? I want to serve. And then you have also heard the statement: This is whom the Lord has sent. I don't think I'm even going to explain this statement. How will I let them know that I am here? Who is here? The messenger or the message? Are they one?


There are many things to ponder in these statements that I am making right now, but when a question arises, embrace it, and remember that you do not have to think about it or worry about it, but that light has its own agenda. It unselfishly and unquestioningly just IS. And those who crave the light will find it. You are not supposed to be concerning yourself with the degree of readiness that one has encapsulated within themselves when they are in the presence, and like Hunnah this evening, maybe you are not even in the mood.


Maybe you just want to play! But someone who has come along and sidled up next to you is very thirsty and they want light. They want a drink. They want that magnetic osmosis to penetrate their cells but they have not yet come to the point of understanding that it is truth. They do not understand their discomfiture and they do not know that they are thirsty for truth.  No lecture. If they need a lecture and they are intellectually questioning, they will simply find themselves in the presence of someone or a book that will satisfy that need of the moment, but I want to hold this in your heart.  How will they know that I am here?    … How Will They Know I Am Here?


I lay this like a mantle around your shoulders this evening. I want you to hold it, be warmed by the heat of it, and not burdened by the question, but I want the dazzling truth of that question to penetrate your every pore, so that you will never be without fuel, without light. You will always have light, but it will not particularly be the kind of light that requires your articulate intellectual interpretation of a question that they have asked.


Sometimes, even though you are intellectually knowledgeable about this wonderful subject, all that's really required from you at that moment is a radiant smile, or a gesture, without thought; to reach in your purse and pull out a couple of dollars; or maybe slow down and let somebody pull in front of you; or maybe it's your own self that needs to be fed. How will they know that I am here? Hunnah is going to enjoy that question. She is thinking to herself: it sounds like a great meal!


You see, I didn't have to go ahead and give you a dress rehearsal of what her talk would be like, but I know it would be fun. I want you to all have some fun because the I that you are enjoys itself. It is warm and affectionate and considerate and appropriate, and without self importance, without need of a lot of attention. The light that is you knows how you are and where you are all the time.


I am glad that Hunnah let me speak, and she is relieved that I had something that sounded pretty good! [Group laughter] She is always surprised because we do not talk about what is in the intellect. We are not interested in your files. We only use them for vocabulary purposes. We sneak around and look through them for some metaphors. Our challenge is to continuously present the truth to you in endlessly new manners. Thank you for letting me come. I will leave the floor for someone else.


Group:            Thank you, Merium.


BENJAMIN (Erata):              Merium was speaking about the Light. How will they know that I am here? They will simply know by your presence. As long as you do not put a box or a basket over yourself, as you would not hide your light under a bushel, your presence will be the light. As you serve the Master your light will radiate from you and those who seek the light will be drawn to you. Those who do not seek the light will retreat. Those who do seek the light will be many, so you must allow the light to shine. It will shine with your presence, your behavior, your smile, your talk. That will be the only thing necessary to let them know you are there.


If you follow the path that is laid out before you, the path in which the Father wants you to follow, you will have many coming to you and with you as you follow your journey. Those who pick up your light then also radiate out, gathering many more, for the purpose of which we are here, and so you see the light will grow; it will not go out; it will be everlasting, as you follow the path.


Iyana:             Amen.


MERIUM:     This is Merium. I would like to comment something about those who seek the light. You don't trouble yourself, once more, with judgement. There are many who seek the light elsewhere because there are many who are light. Just because they do not come to you does not mean they are not interested or they are not receptive; it simply means that you will not be the one that will be with them. You will go elsewhere.


In your community you have many restaurants. Sometimes you like to eat at one, sometimes you like to eat at another. It is a varied opportunity. You do not analyze it, it is just that way. Do not trouble yourself with judging where other people are. Just accept and enjoy them all, whether they are dressed well, whether they are clean. They are all here for the same purpose.


I would like to add one more thing. What is the bushel that keeps your light hidden? Is there a specific area in your life which you feel falls into the category of a bushel? If you recognize it, then it will be allowed to dissolve because your recognition is a gift of the Father. It is not a diagnosis that you will hold onto; it is the dawning in yourself that this is a limitation, and when you see this limitation, you are allowed to say: I see this error and I am allowed to release it. Light will come in its place. Please accept this suggestion. You do not have to wrestle with a limitation. You have to re-identify it, offer it up, and let it dissolve. Thank you.


BENJAMIN:             Very well put, Merium.


TOMAS:        I would like to round it out by suggesting that control is a wet blanket that you throw over your light. Control is a bushel that covers the glow of your spirit luminosity.


MERIUM:     Control requires fuel. If you take fuel from the source of your purpose, then you will lessen the energies that are dedicated to the service of the One. This is a very impersonal situation. It is sort of like math and this is to this as that is to that. You will have endless opportunities to deliberate it by new definition. Definition is so general that you will often find it amusing, but just being able to put some situation in a new definition will release it for you and it will lighten that which holds you back.


BENJAMIN:                         Again, very well put. It seems as though everything has come together in an understanding that is very simple. It all goes back to the Father, with the Father's plan you will trust this. It is truly remarkable how simple things can be when you talk it out, when you look and see what really can happen if you love and offer kindness. It also adds fuel to your light so that it may glow for his glory for all to see. Is there any question, comment, or request from others?


MERIUM:     I have a request. I would like to have you this week make an effort of the opportunity that you might have in dealing with children. (Now some of you think you are safe from this assignment because you are not aware of any children in your immediate situation. In the event that you find that short people who look very young do not come into your arena, remember that the word children can be expanded.) But allow yourself to deliberately be available for them, even if it's in a very brief manner. Acknowledge their worth. Do not overlook them. Thank you.


BENJAMIN:               Any further comments or questions? If there isn't, Merium, would you like to "bug out"?


MERIUM:     You've been listening to humans! That's one of their expressions. I will "lift off."


BENJAMIN:               I like that one better.

MERIUM:     Thank you for having us.  Have a good evening, all of you.




[End of Vol. IV, Part 9 of 13]