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Marin T/M Group—Mill Valley, California—U. S. A.


  1. (Truth and Reality)
  2. (Truth and Knowledge) \
  3. (Truth and Freedom)
  4. (Visualization)
  5. (Truth and Human Reality)
  6. (Truth and Self-questioning)

January 16, 2006

Dear Mother and Michael, Tonight we want to thank You for pointing the way, for being our forward scouts out into this new territory of faith for us. We treasure Your ability to cut right through to the spiritual heart of our questions, then pay us the respect of being very direct and frank with us. In this You give us wonderful examples of what a true friend is. Amen.

Good evening, My sons, this is Nebadonia. Being your Mother Spirit, I too welcome the feedback you give Me, and I cherish the love in your words. I have a mother’s heart that strives to be wise with My children, and I am glad you recognize this is, at times, what you call tough-love, which is after all the realization of the importance of truth. You know that wonderful saying: You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.

(Truth and reality)

To your modern minds another good word for truth is reality--that which is real, that which actually exists. You are all striving to be fully existential, and you will slowly achieve this, though it may take uncountable millions of years. For in this dimension too, My children, there is no limit. Even after you become pure spirits and leave our Local Universe to head out into your galactic adventure, still you will be just starting that phase of your existence. There are many, many steps to go before you achieve a final existential existence, and become what is appropriately called a Finaliter in the Paradise Corps of the Finality.

Starting out as a nodule of experience--a focal point of personality in time and space, in time you will finally become final: and then, of course, there are six more galaxies to go out and explore. This is the nature of your present existence and potential. As your Urantia book assures you, and so have We, you are already existential in the very fact of your existence. In this one aspect you are already absolute, for your personality is a creation of God the Father. And so as you strive for truth in order to be free, what exactly is it you are being free from?

(Truth and knowledge)

This is the qualitative difference between knowledge and truth. Knowledge is a possession. It is what you have earned and, when you think about it, your increasing wisdom tells you that knowledge, or facts--physical facts, correlated and organized in meaningful ways by your mind; all these have truth within a fairly small and circumscribed context. Truth Itself is just the largest conceivable context, which, by definition, can never be a possession. God alone possess truth because God alone, shared only with the other absolute members of the Trinity, is Truth; is the fullness of reality; is the sum total of all existence. Yet for we subordinate beings who can never hope to possess truth, we can revere it as an orientation. Whereas you can never have truth as you have facts, or understand meanings--and be relatively confident in their application extending on into the future; still truth can be your orientation and serve as a humbling reminder that there is always something more. The context of your existence is like the horizon, always out there surrounding you, encompassing you. From a spiritual standpoint, you can slowly achieve a near absolute confidence in the existence of truth, even though you cannot hold it, you cannot possess it. True enough, this is, at your stage of existence, very much a matter of faith. For in this sense it is inseparable from your inner convictions of the reality of God himself. So it is not something you can ever prove to anyone else. Neither God nor truth can be empirically demonstrated like a mathematical theorem, or the laws of chemistry and physics.

So how is it that you can rest, assured within yourself of your faith in the existence of truth? How can you know that you are contained within it and that it does exist? And I’ll ask again, what is it truth liberates you from? Let Me suggest that the liberation is from the illusion that you can, or you have already possessed truth itself--the illusion that you are somehow capable of being perfectly objective, or that your knowledge and understanding already have no limits.

We looked at this once before in it’s social and political implications, how certain individuals in power, cherishing an inner illusion that they know what is absolutely right and correct, have all through history perpetrated the most obscene horrors on their fellows. We’ve also looked at a general trend of maturity being a matter of ever so slowly but certainly getting the inner self-confidence to let go of these illusions of generalities and prejudices, so you can experience the truth of the infinity of every other personality you encounter.

(Truth and freedom)

So if this is the truth, My children, if every other personal being of whatever kind bears the hallmark, the stamp if you will, of God’s hand in their creation; if this is the truth and you are able to see it, you are able to experience other folks this way; what is it you are being freed from? Isn’t it obvious you are being freed from the enormously self-limiting illusions of all your generalities, and stereotypes, and prejudices? These are small, constraining contexts that some folks might live their life within and never touch the reality, never experience and possess the enormous wealth of all these other wonderful souls that are possible to know.

What a waste of living to have never lived, to have never truly known another--soul to soul. This is why those who are not able to love and relinquish themselves to know another, are still living in an untransformed world. They’ve never experienced how the whole world transforms once you share it with one other person. You have some rather cynical expressions such as: Love is blind. But is it? Or is it only that our lovers are momentarily bedazzled because their whole world has just changed?

Certainly now, things have to settle down after a while. The new world view has to find its space within all that went before. But what a shame to have never known this, to have never known the courage of letting yourself be even a bit of a fool, if necessary, to follow wherever love leads. So we may have to amend that saying and think of it more as: You shall strive after the truth and towards the truth, to be free. Then welcome the glory in the fact that only eternity itself can fully disclose the nature of truth, which is God himself. This is another meaning of eternity, My children. This is the path. This is the forever-quest.

Meanwhile, freedom is one of those things you can know for yourself. That is its nature, and this is your God-given ability, to know it. So when you seek to evaluate your life, when you ask yourself, how am I doing, be sure to include this evaluation too. Are you becoming more free? Are you growing along this dimension? Is your own personal reality opening wider? Are the people in your life emerging more and more from an amorphous background? Much further down the scale, but equally possible: Are the very things in your life slowly growing in value? Are all your curious little personal possessions gaining soul? This is the path I would set your feet upon, My children. This is the way in which Michael and I are your pathfinders out ahead, beckoning you to come this way.

For We assure you that everything I have told you tonight, applies to Us as well. We too are growing. We too know the truth as an encompassing surround, the very body of God that holds Us in its loving embrace, reassuring Us of its absolute existence. You can know this right here and now through faith. And as being still and at peace within yourself feeds this faith, so too this faith enables you to be evermore at peace. So cherish the truth, My sons. At one and the same time you can strive towards it, and meanwhile be satisfied in your striving, to let yourself be at peace. Let peace and truth soak right into your bones, into every cell.

This is also your home. This is where your life originates. This is that living, bubbling fountain suspended right out in the middle of God’s love, coming from His inexhaustible source. Rest deeply in it, be refreshed. Now look! Here comes another adventure! Here comes another creation of God for you that, though you cannot know it beforehand, can nevertheless help you be free.

Thank You, Father. It is our delight to acknowledge that only You could have created life in such a way. Amen.

If you have any questions or comments, My sons, let Me hear them. They are My adventures.

Student: Mother, what is visualization, and how do I do it--especially with respect with the Akashic Construct? I would like to be involved in that, and heal people as well as myself, and I have no clue to what visualization is.


NEBADONIA: Yes, C, once again you bring Me a term that has many meanings, in many different contexts. Normal waking visualization is, as we have looked at before, a combination of the excitation from some external stimuli impacting your sense organs, such as sight, which are interpreted by your brain and then, with the powers of your mind, given an objective-seeming reality which may or may not correspond to the external object. In terms of consciousness, on the extreme other end of the spectrum, you have your dreams, some of which you’ve all experienced can seem very realistic at times.

Occasionally these become what you call conscious dreaming, or being aware right within your dream that you are dreaming. You can even marvel at the fact of: I know this is a dream, yet look at how detailed, how real it seems. But for most people this experience is rare, for this realization they are dreaming tends to either wake them up if they identify with the conscious part of it, or they simply loose this self-consciousness and the dream goes on, more or less unconsciously as usual.

Visualization as it is used in a mystical or quasi-spiritual sense is for some folks very similar to conscious dreaming. In other words, with their eyes closed they are able to visualize within themselves to a very remarkable degree of reality, different aspects of their situation. And so they are able to visualize spiritual beings, spiritual relationships, which, very much like normal waking conscious visualization, is a combination of both objective stimulus and subjective interpretation.

If you wish to do this, My son, I would direct your attention to many Oriental disciplines that specialize in how to do this, and can lead you stage by stage through the process. For if it is not just naturally occurring to you, as it is for some folks, it is a very long and painstaking discipline, usually starting with simple objects that you try to imagine in your mind. These you imagine in ever greater detail and then see if you can’t literally see them within yourself with your eyes closed. In this sense visualization is like any other mental discipline that you must learn step by step. But let Me also suggest that there are many other ways of internally realizing spiritual reality.

We talked tonight about truth and how you can know within yourself and trust that it exists, even though it cannot be a possession such as a much smaller fact or meaning. So ask yourself, My son, how do you know anything? How do you know who you are, or who some dear friend is? How do you know how to get home tonight? Or further afield, how do you know that Paris, France exists, or Naples, or Moscow, or Tokyo? There is a whole branch of human philosophy that looks at this question: How does a human being know?

As we also looked at tonight, how can you get folks to accept the limitations of their knowledge so they will strive to reach beyond the pseudo-knowledge of generalities and stereotypes and prejudices? Does this at least begin to answer your question?

Student: Mother, it gives me a great deal to think about and look at. I don’t know whether it answers the question or not. (laughter) I was thinking specifically about the CD that George Bernard has, about how to get involved in the Akashic Construct. I admire people doing that, and then healing people, and I’d like to do the same. But I don’t seem to be able to do it.

NEBADONIA : There is certainly no harm in trying. Any course of study like this has to be thoroughly embraced with your whole heart and mind and soul to even have a chance of succeeding. Any attempt like this, if you are doing it highly consciously and for spiritual reasons, cannot help but give you some self-knowledge of all the steps you have to go through to be successful.

But as with any other art, My son, any other creative act, there are different temperaments among human beings. For example, some great musicians or visual artists—painters and sculptures—when asked to express verbally what they are doing, are completely inarticulate, just as some writers would be lost trying to do more than a doodle in terms of art. It can’t hurt you to try a specific technique, but don’t feel this is the only way you can help others heal themselves. This is not the only way to contribute to another’s health, another’s ability to free themselves by accepting an ever larger truth of their life. This is the spiritual friendship you can always offer another right here and now, as you are today. And this can be done by following your heart. Trust the compassion that desires you have this greater healing power. Trust this compassion to show you your own--C’s unique way of healing. Then pray for the nerve to give it a try. Michael and I, and the rest of your celestial family, are always right by your side whenever you strive to help another person toward greater life. Simply let Our love flow through you. But by all means, try some new techniques. Welcome the self-discovery process this puts you through. And always: Physician, heal thyself. (laughter)

Student: Thank You , Mother. This last part has meant a great deal and is very understandable. Thank You once more for being by my side.

NEBADONIA: You are very welcome, My son. I appreciate the good work you strive to do in, and with, My presence. So be in My love.

Student: Yes, Mother. I have numerous things I’d love to discuss, but firstly, I was wondering what was—because I’m sure You give this great thought before You address us, and usually one hundred percent of what You say to us is significant when we are in Your presence—so I was wondering what was the deeper meaning? Why was this topic, this idea tonight?

NEBADONIA: My son, you gave Me the compliment in your prayer this evening of being your pathfinder, and pointing the way. This inspired Me to point out the largest context I could express to you—the whole concept of truth, and how it is possible to strive towards it, and the spiritual benefits of doing so.

Student: Is it not—truth, that is—already established within us; to be, in a sense, uncovered from our own misunderstandings and fallacies of who we think we are, and what we identify with—our own illusions?

NEBADONIA: No. (laughter)

Student: But then how do we exist?

(Truth and human reality)

NEBADONIA: You exist because your consciousness is put into a transcendent vehicle. This vehicle has been all mankind’s study, yet even though you have libraries of literally millions of books on topics of just, shall we say, just your physical being, let alone the mental and spiritual dimensions of being human, this remains still a transcendent encompassing that supports your consciousness, without which your personality cannot yet experience, or constantly strive to learn more.

As you just realized, starting out at any moment in time to strive for a greater maturity, you are freeing yourself from the immature limitations of your previous concepts and understandings. This is how you grow. But in no way do you already possess truth. Truth is what surrounds you. Truth is the God-reality in which you are living. So when you ask, do you not already have truth, in saying no I was referring to your consciousness--what you can consciously know, and recall, and use from your memory of your past experiences. But even in this, you will recall, We have given many lessons on how to find an ever greater truth in your own past experiences. Because you do exist here and now, the past itself is a territory for exploration and discovery. Does this help clarify the situation?

Student: Yes, I guess. It may be something beyond words. I understand that truth cannot be possessed, but what I meant about what is already established, is that it’s universal, it’s cosmic, it’s already here, and it’s up to us to tune into it—to live it.

NEBADONIA: Yes, this is true. It really is God. God is truth. God is absolute, and infinite, a fully existential Being such as you can only grow towards. But starting out as you are, somewhat like a tadpole, (laughter—this is an old joke and tease between D and Michael and Mother Spirit) you are still 99.9999 percent experiential, My son. Only the fact of your existence is absolute. As you know there are many, many poor souls who are in such a state of mind day to day, they suffer enormously, unbelievably, in doubting their own existence. They can be so deranged this way they cannot support their existence, but must be compassionately institutionalized. This is why We say your true home is on the edge of the unknown, because God and His total creation are beyond the comprehension of any sub-absolute being. In this sense God is only fully known by His other absolute associates, the Eternal Son, and the Infinite Spirit. The only way sub-absolute beings can know Him is through faith. In this you can all be faith-sons of the living God now, as you slowly, over eons and eons of time, augment your own existential quotient of being.

(Truth and self-questioning)

Let Me add one further thing along these lines. There is a great difference between self-doubt and self-questioning. I’ve tried to point out tonight there is a way you can validly and self-honestly still your doubts as to your existence, and the existence of truth, and God, and thereby gain the self confidence, the inner self-assurance that allows you, then, to question everything you know and believe, in your striving for ever greater truth. (a long, puzzled hmmm…followed) I think you know, My son, much of what I say is meant for study. I don’t expect you to comprehend it instantaneously. (laughter)

Student: I do question my abilities, and why I do—why I believe certain things, especially when they no longer seem to work for me. Or why did I believe in them in the first place? Because of something I’ve been told since I’ve been going to school, or living in society? But truth is something that is more universal, more—it doesn’t change. It evolves, but doesn’t change. There’s a depth to it. And as You said, there’s a freedom to it. Sometimes, and we’re seeing this in our world today, beliefs can be so binding. Our traditions can be so binding. And there’s no freedom to them.

NEBADONIA: Well, you’ve just expressed another reason I bring these things up. To a degree you are identifying with truth. Truth does not evolve: you evolve. Truth is absolute insofar as God is truth. Truth exists absolutely and infinitely. We evolving beings grow in our capacity for it, but it is ever our encompassing. It literally holds us, as God. If you will, it is the "it-ness" of Him.

Student: Hmmm… I can’t wait to read that. (laughter—Mother Spirit too) Because I think I only got a little bit of that, but… OK.

I have two more things. One, I was just thinking of about Jesus, and that if Jesus were here by my side, or face to face--since He is the embodiment of truth, and love, and all that God is, what would He see in me? And what would I be open to receive from Him? Because He sees everything I am…

NEBADONIA: This is also something, My son, you have to grow towards. You have to grow towards who you are because, as We have been teaching, only a very tiny part of your own soul is available to you in your present physical condition. The fullness of it awaits the next phase of your life to become more possible of conscious awareness. The saving grace of your present physical human condition is that if your are open to it, your own growing soul can augment the value of your life—to you--more and more.

Let Me further add in our philosophical discussion here, people often forget, and create a duality between God and reality. They think of reality as "it," whereas God remains the summation of personal reality. God is literally the person-hood, the personality within reality, yet the impersonal aspect, the non-spiritual part of reality—what you think of as matter/energy—is however itself a creation of the personal God, and responds absolutely to His will. And so truth can seem like an "it," yet it is simply God’s living nature. I hope that clarifies that point.

Student: Yes, it does! It’s so good—(laughing)--I’m really drinking this up.

Now this is more personal. I sometimes feel in my relationship with (Name)… she’s said I’m not getting her. Maybe I’m failing her. I know that’s a judgement, but that’s what it feels like sometimes. I’m not able, in her words, to totally support her. And I don’t know if I can, if I have the means to do that. So our relationship is changing. She’s in the process of finding a place to live with her boys, and You know how long this process has been going on. So I’m kind-of in this place of waiting for her to move out, finding a place. With her progress is slow, and I’m wanting to move on. So there’s also the sense of impatience on my part; but I also have to honor where she is. Yet maybe I don’t know what that is—so it saddens me. I feel I haven’t fully taken her in, and there’s a loss with that.

NEBADONIA: My son, keep in mind that this infinity that another person is can never be entirely known. It is impossible to take another in fully, because that implies some kind of ability that is only God’s. Here again we are looking at a difference between doubting yourself and questioning yourself. Taking another person in is a thing you strive towards, and you can usefully question ways in which to do this better, or try to understand ways you may have done it better in the past; although the past is fixed in the sense it is no longer amenable to change. The past has to be respected for the irrevocable nature of it. So we are addressing the self-doubt part here. I’m letting you know there is a limit to what you can know of another, and this is that very freedom we’ve talked about--granting other people their infinity, and not rather arrogantly assuming that you have totally fathomed them, and so can act in a capricious or absolute manner towards them. Cherish your own wisdom that lets you accept that fact that you have not taken another person in—completely. For in doing so you are avoiding the far greater error of the illusion that you have.

Student: I really understand that. And when she says I don’t support her enough, I’m thinking maybe it’s beyond human ability to do so. I can’t support another’s illusions, or irrationality, or dysfunctional behavior; but I can support and honor another’s soul, and their growth, and their integrity. And I think I’ve done that—with her. Maybe she needs to go within herself, and find God within herself, for support. Ultimately.

NEBADONIA: These are good questions you are asking yourself. I can only suggest you share them as much as you can with her. These are intrinsic aspects of compatibility, so much a part of your system of values. They are important to share. Often couples get together, or separate, along these lines of whether or not they can share their values. Neither is absolute, and accepting this non-absoluteness is difficult for some people, for they still have, not only arrogant and self-satisfied notions, but romantic notions too that everything can be shared and known. Unfortunately—or fortunately, really--you are both too unfathomable for that. But the hour is getting late, My son.

Student: That is fine. Thank You… (much laughter)

NEBADONIA: You are very welcome. I’ve definitely given you something to think about, and study--whenever C and J get it out there.

Student (laughing): I hope You’ve enjoyed this adventure!

NEBADONIA: Oh, I have—very much, very much. I think you know you’re in My love.

Well boys, let’s wrap this up. It has been quite an adventure this evening. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it. You really have taken to heart what I chose to talk about. It’s a delight to have My children question Me, and then be so open, and entertain what I have to offer. Neither Michael nor I desire any kind of blind belief or faith. Rather, We invite you to question Us as you question yourselves, and each other. At the same time, trust in your perception of Our presence, for as you are finding out, spirit is most ungraspable. You cannot literally possess it as you do a physical fact or mental meaning, but you can very validly be possessed by it, and feel its love right down into every cell of your body. Spirit is the source of the facts and the meaning you find in your life. And so We worship and thank Him--He who is spirit! Be in My love. Good evening.