Emulan012005SLC15_OvercomingDespair

SLC Utah Teaching Mission Group Meeting #15

At Simon's Home

Teacher(s):

Emulan: T/R Dianna

Overcoming Aloneness or Despair through the Divine Parents

January 20, 2005

I am Emulan, here this evening to bring you together in more radiance of our celestial Parents' abiding love for you each. There is nothing quite like the touch of one's own Parents to lift the spirit of humans for they are often embittered with their everyday reality and cannot find time to bring themselves to a place where they are able to truly feel the loving embrace that brings such fulfillment of every possible desire of one's being, that it is often too much to put into words. I have felt the aloneness that was discussed earlier and know the depths of despair that can be attained through the sheer will of the mind. To be in this absolute terror that there are no others to share one's feelings, heartfelt desires or future hopes with, can be so devastating to the spirit that often times humans cannot bear the grief and end up taking their lives. This is the extreme form of this type of despair but it can become a subtle form of attachment to one's fears as well.

I know this from personal experience, and have felt this pinprick of keeping my feelings attached to this ever-present fear, that I was somehow unworthy of love. In time, I was able to rid myself of these thoughts with a persistent and expanded thought of self-mastery that I could achieve the same type of existence as the Master did, on this planet. If he were able to bring himself humbly to his knees and beg for forgiveness and learn the ways of freedom from fear, then so could I. I slowly began to practice the ways in which the Master would choose to perform everyday tasks, such as writing a letter or preparing the evening meal. He would slowly begin to realize that in every moment he was able to hear the words of his thoughts and could attune them to the will of the Father. He was able to understand his belief systems and in turn, begin to comprehend that many of these were not in alignment with the principles of divine living. He began to bring the focus of his mind into! greater union with that of his pre-personalized Adjuster and could be more and more ready to abandon the ways of his old thoughts and ideas. This, for the Master, took only a few brief moments opposed to the many years that it took me to accomplish the same feat, but I had conquered my old thinking by simply choosing to find the Master's way instead of my own.

I wish I could convey to you that you each will find your way to this achievement easily, but I cannot. It is a matter of hard work and perseverance. There are many who are available to assist you each and every moment of the day. If you, by chance, struggle with a particular thought or belief, just think on the Master's behavior for a moment and call upon your elder brothers or sisters for assistance. They will amplify this ability to connect your mind to new thoughts, more easily than you can accomplish on your own. Never believe that you must persevere though these challenges without the assistance of those who have traveled before you, for they are in abundance and are close at hand. I will pause and allow all of you to discuss this for a few moments. If you have any questions, feel free to raise them at this time. Simon: It looks like the two big things I have observed is that the Master's mind was able to sort of be in tune pretty quick and sort of mentally genius the gap of unworthiness or the walls and games that I play with myself, just sort of relax into the Father's will and that there are beings who desire to assist us and amplifying that connection. I am real open to that.

Marshall: That is what I am hearing too. It is funny, but this is exactly the process that I have been led to, especially in the last few weeks, and that is probably why I have been spending so much time in stillness... to get attuned, to discern Father's will. It has been a struggle.

Simon: I was reading Satori the other day, and it was saying, "I need to be the change I want to see in the world and if I look around the world and do not like what I see, then I have to still be the thing that I like to change." It feels like more my purpose to see some of it reflect eventually and if I do not feel up to it, then I just need to nurture myself and relax or whatever, and go back into Father's presence and see what I can do to be in greater balance and harmony. Do I need to breathe deeply, do I need to find some fun, do I need to work... between now and five o'clock and then it is my reward time? Go and get a cheeseburger or something...

Marshall: Diligent, intelligent effort is required, and it is so foreign to us.

Simon: I have got to tell myself all the time, if I start straying and start thinking that this really sucks, or that guy is irritating me, then I just have to take a deep breath and usually there is somebody there to catch me when I fall and I am really grateful for that. But yes, it is a challenge to mentally say those things that show gratitude for Father's faithfulness, for his love.

Marshall: That is thanksgiving, but the diligent effort that is required to achieve or attain what Emulan is speaking of takes a bold soul, it takes faith, and it takes the Master walking right with you... and Mother to catch you when you are down.

Simon: To imagine them both there, literally...

Marshall: They are there, yes.

Simon: Because they open my imagination to the potential of them being there, that they can be there.

Marshall: We are worthy and deserving. This abundance is ours for the grasping. All we have to do is embrace it. But I do not think we are going to see it unless we can put forth that effort, and reach out into the unknown, uncharted waters, challenging our fears, and then all of a sudden, we find that they are illusions. Not just an intellectual understanding of such, but knowing it through our personal life experience. That is what is so exciting.

Simon: The illusions or the getting over the illusions?

Marshall: Challenging them, allowing ourselves to take on these illusions, the fears.

Simon: Oh, I see. Yes, the fears are unreality, they are not support, not real.

Marshall: Experiencing it, not just the intellectual knowledge of knowing this is true, but actually taking the challenge into the unknown and personally experiencing this reality.

Simon: This is the type of thing where if somebody is not being real, I just kind of filter it out, like it is not a reality, and that they are freaking out on their fears. It is just not part of our reality.

Marshall: Filtering out is a key word there. I am finding out, as Sandy was mentioning earlier, that these thoughts of unworthiness that come up are established patterns, old ways of thinking, and we must really be on guard, filtering out what we allow into our minds. Only then can we allow for the higher ways, for all things to become new. The old ways of reacting must be released and this takes co-creative effort. It is very difficult at first, but as we do it more it is like exercising muscles, not physical muscles, but willful exercise of the intellectual muscles along with spirit guidance. This process is not much different than exercising the physical muscles, as both are difficult at first.

Simon: This brings to mind the movie, "What the Bleep", where it is mentioned that everything is ready in potential, and then suddenly when you interact with the physical, it interacts with you (we are all from the same particles). Sometimes I lose perspective of this for a moment then I say, "Boy this is really exciting and something to look forward to... that we are manifesting now. I will later look back on the experience and how I got over all the hurdles.

Marshall: Manifesting is a key word. In order to manifest we must have that willful focus, or concentration on our decision (the ideal), allowing completion of decision, or action. Action is required for the decision to become manifest, otherwise all is a fantasy. We manifest co-creatively with Deity as we choose to discern and then implement Father's will.

Simon: Well, maybe we all, at least I fall into things that I used to fear, moving forward in joy and gratitude that I no longer entertain these old fears. I will worship when I am in the car... singing or whatever.

Marshall: I have been singing lately, too, singing, "They live, they live, my Parents live today, they walk with me, they talk with me, they teach me higher ways". That was a tune I learned in Sunday school as a young kid, just changing the words. It is uplifting, this singing. I have never done this much before.

Simon: It does feel good. I like, "Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow"...

Marshall: What Emulan was talking about, regarding adoption of the Master's ways, brings to mind a phrase in the Urantia Book in the last Paper, I believe, that has long been in my mind. It says that one of the highest things in life we can do is to strive for the achievement of the Master's exalted life purpose, and to know his religious life and how he lived it. I am hearing Emulan say to us tonight that the Master will teach us his ways, and new techniques of living, new methods of approach, etc. All we need do is desire to focus on this, or strive for it, and not allow lower thoughts and ideas to clutter our minds.

Simon: Yes. The mind gets all fuzzy. It is like when I am cleaning, and I start uncluttering spaces and making room for things. This is similar to what I am doing to my mind, keeping it free and open... more identified, as Sandy says.

Marshall: Emulan is right on and I know it. I am getting a taste of it. Strenuous effort and hard work must be applied, at least at first. As long as I can keep myself catching the old patterns... negative thinking, feelings of unworthiness, fear of lack, any fear-based feelings or thoughts, I can pause and say, "No, Master, I do not want to entertain such in my mind, I desire to filter out these non-realities", then I can hold the focus more intensely, allowing the manifestation of higher thoughts and ideals.

Simon: There was this thing, this training (awhile back), and I just told my mind to say, "Thank you for sharing, now die."... (laughter)... It seems so long ago, because I can just turn it off when I want to... when it is speaking out of control, I can just tell it to shut up.

Marshall: Are you speaking specifically about your thoughts?

Simon: Yes. It is like, "Thank you ego-mind for sharing, now die", then get connected to the Universal Mind, Father's mind. Hopefully it is in concert with the things that I want to do. I tend to tweak them and take them off-course, every now and then, but then I come back. Say, when I wake up, what are the first thoughts in my mind? I think, well it is a fuzzy day, but a lot of interesting people, and unusual interesting things will happen. I am kind of intuitive, I will be open at that point... "Well, listen, what do you Father, have in mind for me to do today? Oh, it is going to be a little like this, or it is going to be more like that... okay, I will look forward to that." Just to be as prepared as I can to face that. When I am going into a meeting, I ask myself, "How is the meeting going to turn out?" Well, it is my pre-thought of it that implants it all, and I dream, or pre-plan... kind of a mixture of intuition and my own hope for the outcome to be as beautiful and be right, and everybody leaves edified and served, and maybe I can allow the face of the Master to come through my own filter, during this time... to feel loved and touched, graced, nurtured and cared for.

Marshall: Well, you know, we are not going to be able to get out there and effectively serve our brethren until we can learn to truly know, from personal experience, that we are worthy. It is then that we start embracing and feeling this love from our Parents. That is what we are being trained to do. We will be taught more and more on how to implement this, becoming the servers of all. But, we must now allow ourselves to drop the thoughts and illusions of scarcity and embrace the abundance that is truly there. I know it is there, as I have had glimpses it, but I do find myself drifting at times. Utilization of mind is so critical. It is interesting to have Emulan here with us tonight, as he is a master of the mind. He is a "psychiatrist", in our terms. That was a very powerful lesson he put forth, and I can relate to it. It is what I am going through right now... at least attempting to.

Simon: Well, I think more and more that our minds will mirror our eternal world, as we reflect into people and events and experiences. I must be lucky, but I know that it does for me.

Marshall: No question about it Simon, that is a good point. I am finding more and more that (there is great meaning in) what the French philosopher Descartes said, "I think, therefore I am". There is a lot to be said about this statement. What we allow ourselves to think about, or not think about, is critical.

Simon: It is fun just to go to the bookstore and learn something new. Our get with our Parents and learn something new. I love journaling time, but sometimes it escapes me.

Emulan: I am listening in awe and wonder at your deep commitment and abundant enthusiasm for this lesson. It is indeed hard work and will take some time to achieve, but it is possible, so continue with your efforts for they will bear fruit. I am very excited to have been asked to participate in this evening's lesson. I was not scheduled to participate this evening, but I am thankful every time I get an opportunity to share my experiences with you in this format. I will take my leave for now, but know that we are present for any question or concern that you may have throughout your day. Do not hesitate to call upon us to serve you and lift you up to higher realms of possibility. Good evening my friends.

Group: Thank you, Emulan.

END