Group: Nashville, Tennessee
October 27, 1996
Ham: Greetings, children, friends, I am Ham and I am happy to greet you all again tonight. We welcome you who are new to our meeting and also he who is returned. We are grateful and, especially I am thankful to have you all here tonight and will try to answer questions after our lesson.
Tonight's lesson will be a discussion of steadfastness. All of you are steadfast in some things and are vacillatory in others. Which is important, which is unimportant? You all tend to cling with great steadfastness to unimportant or inconsequential habits likes or dislikes while other things which may hold greater importance for you, you vacillate and cannot hold fast to it.
When it comes to one's self, it is difficult to sort values. What may be comfortable or pleasant, you tend to place, mistakenly, value upon it and what may be difficult, demanding, or taxing, though it may hold the greater value, you value it less. Sometimes circumstances will force you to reevaluate your lives and your values and sometimes in a blinding flash of insight, you will see where true value lies. But, then the daily grind of existence continues on and you gradually slide back into a more comfortable understanding of your values. The struggle for higher values is not in the intellectual realm, it is not in finding philosophical structures, the struggle for values, which in reality is the enhancement of life, goes on on the everyday level.
Where do your values lie, my children? Do your values lie in giving yourself comfort or security or emotional comfort? Or do your values lie in finding ever greater capacities in your soul? Do your values lie in recognizing the Father in your brethren? Do you value the Father enough to respect and love yourselves and your brothers and sisters? Must you always cover yourselves like putting a blanket over a light? Whose light is it that you are covering? It is a foolish person who says in their heart "I don't matter". And this person who says this in their heart, turns instead to material aggrandizement or sexual aggrandizement or any number of things which are not inward looking.
Do you value the Father enough to remove the layers, to expose yourself to yourself and then to others? I say again to all of you, do not lose yourselves in the everyday process of living. The Father has but one commandment, that you become perfect even as He is perfect. And, to do this, you must allow yourselves to become, to stretch the boundaries that you yourselves have placed around you, to cease hiding in the small daily worries of life, those things which have no value. This is a difficult thing to do, to turn from the world and all its demands, and turn toward yourself, turn toward the Father and his demand. The kingdom of heaven and its singular demand can be forestalled, but it cannot be avoided forever.
Children, your angels literally weep at seeing you throwing time away in your busy lives. Many of you even now see a step you must take, and you avoid this step by finding all the demands of the material world too pressing. You are all so busy with what I must do to face the question "who am I, what is my purpose"? Life is a continual struggle of finding values, and of replacing old values with new and higher values, and this struggle is very real. Eventually, when there is a step that must be made and this struggle is not overcome and this new value does not replace the old one, you become trapped, and this trap is very dangerous because it takes some trauma to shock you into breaking out of it. Health can be endangered, livelihood, relationships, many things.
You must instead, struggle to recognize the higher value and to pull that value into your lives, letting go of your old patterns because spiritual growth requires you to change. It requires you to break out of comfort patterns, and embrace the new.
Are you all following my words? Do you have any questions?
Q: Our values are not so much what we say they are, but they are reflected in the choices we make in every day life and that is where we need to focus in order to have spiritual growth.
Q: When I, in pursuing, my way, especially like when I get into a new area of meditation, or like recently with my husband it brought me to a new spiritual place. When I get there it is so wondrous, I want to stay there. It feels so good, I don't want to move forward instead I want to stay there and capture. Is this also what you are talking about in seeking higher spiritual value, in continuing to grow like that?
Ham: Meditation is essential to spiritual growth. You must set time aside everyday for personal communion with the Father and with our beloved Master. But, there is some danger with using the meditation time as an avoidance mechanism. Is this what you are referring to?
Q: It doesn't feel like I am using it this way, but it may be and I am not aware? Ham: Explain your question more fully.
Q: As I follow along and try to learn more in my spiritual growth, when I get to a level of awareness that seems very loving, I am so embraced by that experience that I can get comfortable in that place? I want to stay in that place sometimes, and I don't want to venture towards new things because I am comfortable where I am, I am asking is that the being in a place and seeking higher values, or if you are doing the best you can is that o.k.
Ham: Are you talking about people?
Q: No, I am talking about my own experience, and wanting more awareness, wanting more information that shows me I am going the right way spiritually. I guess a simple way to say this is, am I going the right way?
Ham: There are always peaks and valleys in the journey of spiritual growth. One cannot stay on the mountain top of ecstacy forever, but must descend into the valley of experience as well. Both of these are part of the journey. One must experience life in its full measure, both of pain and joy. This is unified in the spiritual experience, but the world demands both. Peter said to the master, "can we not stay on the mountain top for we are loathe to go back into the world". But, the master led them back into the world. Spiritually, the comfort you take in your reading, and fellowship, is all correct, and I understand the temptation to remain in a comforting belief system when the truth demands that you follow it down into the valley. Is this helping. Q: Yes. Ham: Questions?
Q: My health, recently, has seemed so much better since my husband's accident, my pain has been lower and I have been feeling so much better. There is part of me wants to believe that is real, and there is part of me that is so used to growing from pain that it is unreal. Can you give me some guidance on that, is it real?
Ham: Spiritual progress is usually accompanied by increased health and buoyancy, excepting of course cases of disease and so forth. However, the morontia growth of the soul, which is taking place within the body, tends to work towards perfecting the body as it is infused with the spirit. Yes, spiritual healing is real, it is absolutely and completely real. Therefore child, I say, have faith and grasp its reality without hesitation, move ahead with this increased health, exercise the body as you have exercised your mind. Work to find integration with body, mind, and spirit because all these things are health, the body mind and spirit together, as they are integrated health is the result, mental and physical.
Q: I just wanted to say, thank you so much for your help with my husband.
Ham: Yes, give this man our heartfelt greeting and tell him of the love that he shall embrace. His courage and indomitable will to live is inspiring to human and superhuman beings alike. Send him my personal congratulations.
Q: You used the term, increasing soul capacity, could you say a little more about that?
Ham: Yes, as you grow in the spirit, so to speak, in reality you become able to receive more of the spirit. You are able to understand and recognize more truth, you are given the capacity to appreciate beauty in greater measure. You become more responsive to God as you see God all around you. Only the man who knows God within himself, can recognize God in other human beings. There is a saying that a pint cannot hold a quart. Your capacity must be stretched through experience before you are able to hold the spiritual understanding which increasing growth can give you. You, my friend, have grown greatly in this capacity, You have increasingly less self- centered, and more God centered. And though the demands of spiritual living are difficult, you have persevered in your efforts. All these things, combined, have given you increased capacity to love.
Q: I can think of several things I would like to throw aside, and If I could would I still be very busy? I think there are still many important things I should be doing.
Q: This is a question from Dorinda. "I would like to think I am continuing to make progress, am I. I would like to be worthy of having a teacher too".
Ham: Dearest child, you are making wondrous progress. You are, what you would call, making up for lost time. But, you must be careful to build a solid foundation at this time because sometimes you have a tendency to reach beyond your grasp and set yourself up for disappointment. There are many problems that you still have to face and not gloss over and pretend they don't exist. Child, you must know that you are loved, and that you are human and that you can't be all things to all people all the time. Cut yourself some slack and give yourself room to be emotional, to have human feelings about human situations. The word "worthy" should be stricken from your vocabulary, we are all worthy and we are all unworthy. It is not a concept that we employ. Allow yourself freedom to just be, and above all have no fear for the Father has sent his angels to surround you and himself to live within you. All is well.
Q: May I ask my usual question at this time?
Ham: Jarad, you are walking a treacherous path and are continuing to fall into old patterns that are inappropriate for your standing. The obsessive compulsive neurosis, to use your terms, is just a way of being lost in the details. Finding the Father doesn't involve starvation tactics and rejecting or running from spiritual life isn't involved in sugar, chemical sedation. These things are beside the point, it is a way of avoiding a step. But, when you are ready, the step will be natural and easy. It will be the easy road.
Q: Would you want to tell me what the step is that I am avoiding?
Ham: It is not a simple understanding that I can relate to you, and say "if you only could understand this, then all this would go away". It is a spiritual step between you and the Father and this step is all encompassing. It's not a matter of simply understanding a concept. It is a complete step in self-realization.
Q: It seemed to be that it seemed kind of simple to me, that to make the leap of turning to the Father for my comfort rather than trying to do it myself.
Ham: That is part of it.
Q: Is this holding up my task?
Ham: Not at this time.
Q: Do you have anything for Rebecca?
Ham: We will speak later so as not to tax her energies too much, we still have others with questions.
Q: I know there are many questions that I will have, right now I just have a couple. I am in need of a lot of help and guidance.
Ham: Are you asking for general guidance?
Q: That would be helpful.
Ham: During this time of transition, you are feeling somewhat rudderless in your boat and so you are tempted to use oars, use the power of your will to steer. But, you are not without steering, and this time will allow you to relax and accept change, accept the work you are given, accept the rest you are given, accept the sun light and the moon light, the love and protection of heaven. You have been the protector of others, and you are now learning to accept divine protection and divine guidance. This is a difficult transition to make. It is harder to let go of the reins than it is to take them up.
There are some inner fears, fears of weakness, because weakness was drew wrath, as a child, more than strength. So, in allowing human weakness in yourself and accepting this side of yourself that is kind of buried in the unconscious, will require a healing time before you can reclaim yourself in totality and experience emotions that this will bring to the surface. There are troubles with the other parent, the mother parent as well, which are difficult to recognize because you are in such closeness. But, these emotional estrangements from both parents have created an imbalance that will eventually be resolved and corrected by accepting the parental affection from the creator son and the mother spirit. This will undoubtedly be a long process of growth and healing, but you are well on your way to this end. Again, do not fear, all is well, you have taken giant steps in your life, just lately, and all these things are know to the Father and he is continuous and constant in his total acceptance and his infinite love for you. This love cannot be turned off or diminished. But, for you to experience his total love for you, you must as we said earlier, remove the layers. Is this helping.
Q: Very much, thank you, that gave me some good help.
Q: Do you have any feedback for me tonight?
Ham: Son, you are growing in leaps and bounds. You are accepting responsibilities that you once could not. These responsibilities are to love and accept and forgive yourself and in accepting this small responsibility, you are finding, finally, the true joy of sonship and the beginning of the joy of life. Gradually, you are growing in your ability to experience God and to recognize reality. The truth will always pull you, son, you needn't worry that you will mistake the path for you are clearly and solidly upon it and you will not stray from it. If I would say one thing to you, it is that you must grow to really experience love for yourself, not intellectual acceptance or the surface understanding of this reality, but the visceral truth. The reality of loving yourself has been somewhat elusive. So, I prescribe for you the following exercise. Address yourself in the mirror, saying "I forgive you, and I love you", with sincerity, once a day. That is all. If there are no further questions, I will retire until next week. Good evening and farewell.